Non-PG13 (Strong Language): It hurts to even think about you... and i don't know why!

[Ambermonique]

Sorry this is way to long. Please read and give me advice!

Let me tell you little about my self first. I am a 16 year old girl who is a sophomore in high school, and "used to be on the swim team". I swam for about 3 years, and this year was the worst year because of my coach and some drama that went on with the team, i couldn't take it so i quit. but anyways, in that period of time while i was in the swim team, my friends younger brother who is a freshmen lets call him "John" joined the swim team who is supposed to be the 2nd best on the team besides his brother, well anyways i befriended him, and always thought he was attractive. He was the little star on our team, and girls loved him. But everyone thought he was gay because he never had done anything with a girl, and he was so reserved he didn't care to. Well anyways that's a little back ground about everything

Over the weekend, this past weekend. Worst weekend of my life....
Well anyways a bunch of the swimmer guys from the team invited me to one of their houses to hang out and bring a friend. So i did, my girl friend and i ended up drinking a bit, and john was there as well. Well anyways i do get a little on the horny and crazy side when I am drunk, so I asked John to come by and sit with me so he did. People were seeing how so interested i was in him, and "dared" us to kiss, we rejected because we were to good of friends but i was down for anything. After a while they kept telling him to kiss me, and thinking he never would. He grabbed me and started kissing me slowly but rather nice? After a while the guys told him and i to go and play 7 minutes in heaven, I was down for anything and he insisted on coming with me to a room. So we were to led to a room, and i was thinking in my head nothing is going to happen, because he would never do this and if he did. I'd be the only girl!. After getting in there he had pushed me on the bed, got on top of me and started kissing for more than 7 min and then he started stripping his clothes down and tried taking mine off too. so i agreed to it, we were only half naked until he pulled his underwear down. After 20 min into it. I asked him why me? and he told me " I am so pretty, and that if anything happened he wants me to be his first".(I'm crying while writing this). I was shocked to think he wanted this, or just to get it over with? i couldn't tell but he was pretty strong to his thoughts about no girl until me. Anyways, after all that happened and we didn't have sex then. Some of the guys came in and saw him naked on top of me, and John didn't care if they saw. Well anyways, we took a break and then after awhile my friend wanted to go back home and him and his brother agreed to coming back home with us since my friends parents were out of town. After they had came with us, John and I went into a room and got into it again and he ended up asking me if i wanted to do it? I was thinking to myself ( how nice would it be to take someones virginity) I know bad thinking. Anyways i tried telling him i don't want him regretting it and he kept telling me he isn't and he trust me with all his heart, and wants me to be the first. So i finally said okay to it, and proceeded and ended up having intercourse. After we were done we ended up sleeping together and I woke up so happy to us holding each other and thinking to myself I got someone every girl would wish to. I told him That no other girl could ever have what I have, and It's special to me. and he agreed, we had a good morning and then he had to leave... After him and his brother left i felt a sudden detach and sick to my stomach that i was just used.

After a few hours went by people from the team kept calling me and asked me if it were true and i denied the whole thing and called him to ask him what he had said? and he said he had never said anything, only the people who saw us witnessed and said crap. Well anyways i told him this is the craziest thing i had ever done and i had a good time and felt like him and i had a bond some what, and he kept saying he wasn't sure about this. And i didn't have any straight forward answer and asked him to be straight up. He told me he never liked me, I'm pretty but he just wants to be friends and thats it. Wow i got played by a kid??! -__-. Anyways i was so shocked and hurt, and that following monday i went back to school and didn't see him at all for two days and finally passed by him in the hallways and he gave me the dirtiest look and kind of waved. I was so hurt, and felt like just a piece of ass and felt like nothing....

Thinking by taking his virginity and felt like that special girl, I wasn't. And i just don't get it. Being rejected makes me not regret this and i feel so hurt. i don't know what to do and it's so hard for me to just forget things. Please help?

[Koharuchan]

A boy used you. Unfortunately, these things happen more often than you think. Trust me, I've been there. And even more unfortunately, it can be very hard to forget. The best advice I can give you is this.

First, you were drunk. As you said in your post, when you're drunk you tend to get a bit aroused. I am assuming he was drunk as well? Either way, you were drunk and not thinking straight. Don't feel dirty or stupid, it wasn't your fault. You were drunk, caught up in the moment, and it was what you wanted at the time. He now regrets what he did, and probably isn't sure how to deal with those other people talking about what happened. It may take some time to get over what happened, but it's what you need to do. Take some time to heal. Try not to spend too much time with him or think about him too much, because it will only cause painful memories to resurface. Until you can move on from what happened between the two of you, keep your distance from him. It might be hard for you, but it's the best way to heal. Good luck, and stay strong.

[Amber]

I think it's safe to say that a fair few people have been in this situation, too. I know I have.

Let me just say this. Don't regret anything that happened. Everything happens for a reason. Liquor is also known as liquid courage and makes people do things while drunk that they wanted to do while sober but were too scared, nervous, shy, etc. There was obviously a little bit of chemistry between you two otherwise neither of you would have proceeded with intercourse. Now there's a little bit of awkwardness because neither of you know how to act now. It would be ideal if you just ignored him in the hallways and wherever else you see him.
Also, don't tell yourself that you got played by a kid. I would see you getting played being more along the lines of if the both of you were sober. He could be lying about how he really feels or nervous to even say anything to you. You never know, the same exact thoughts could be going through his head.

[Come get some]

How come i didn't meet girls like you when i was in hs? My first gf made me wait a year.

Points I’d make are:

- Can’t really get drunk act like a slapper and then complain afterwards, right? Or expect rumors not to spread after everyone has seen you naked? Sorta commonsense, no offence.
- A guy will say almost anything when there’s a good chance of sex, so don’t think the before and after is going to be the same. That’s why most girls wait a little while to find out if a guy is really interested in them.
- Virginity isn’t really something given or regretted by a guy, its like the opposite almost a realisation that you’re a man so that wouldn't have been a concern to him.
- It sounds as though you were hoping more would come of it, but it was always a risk he wouldn’t find you as gf material with things happening so quickly.

The good point would be that if by 'special' girl you meant be remembered and him grateful that you slept with him, he'd definitely be that and he will remember losing it to you for the rest of his life.

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by Come get some

How come i didn't meet girls like you when i was in hs? My first gf made me wait a year.

Points I’d make are:

- Can’t really get drunk act like a slapper and then complain afterwards, right? Or expect rumors not to spread after everyone has seen you naked? Sorta commonsense, no offence.
- A guy will say almost anything when there’s a good chance of sex, so don’t think the before and after is going to be the same. That’s why most girls wait a little while to find out if a guy is really interested in them.
- Virginity isn’t really something given or regretted by a guy, its like the opposite almost a realisation that you’re a man so that wouldn't have been a concern to him.
- It sounds as though you were hoping more would come of it, but it was always a risk he wouldn’t find you as gf material with things happening so quickly.

The good point would be that if by 'special' girl you meant be remembered and him grateful that you slept with him, he'd definitely be that and he will remember losing it to you for the rest of his life.

Be my mentor o wise one... He's right Amber.