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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lk9 Offline
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Unhappy Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 08:06 PM

A little bit about myself:
Im in a very happy relationship with my bestfriend. We are a strong Christian couple but at the moment are kind of struggling with temptation of sex before marriage. We both want to wait so it's even more special when the time comes.
So a few days ago I had some sort of sex dream about a friend of mine. She is just a friend and always has been, but before dating my girlfriend I might of had a crush on her (little crush). Basically, in the dream she was wearing sexy clothes and being seductive and it's a bit blurry but we may of engaged in intercourse. However even this being a dream I immediately felt terrible for doing what I just did. And that's the last thing I can remember.

But since I've been awake, I've just felt guilty and every time I saw a blonde girl that reminded me of her. I would feel bad and guilty. This can't be lust for her can it? I mean, I hardly ever talk to her.

I'm just worried I guess. I love my girlfriend and she loves me, we're very happy and we plan to get married somewhere in the future. She is my one and only.

I was wondering if anyone could help me with this? Does this mean something? Or am I just over-reacting and freaking out unnecessarly?
Sorry if any of this was unclear.

Thank you's in advance
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 08:17 PM

You can't control your dreams, and it's perfectly normal to have sex dreams about people other than your partner, particularly when a relationship has gone on for a while. It doesn't mean that you're going to cheat on your girlfriend, or that you love her any less. It's just a reflection of the natural desire for variety, and that's something you can suppress in a relationship.

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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 08:30 PM

Its tottally normal. I had a dream i had sex with a tv character ! Dreams mean nothing whether its with a friend or a stranger dont worry about it.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 09:02 PM

Hey, like the others said, it's just dreams! Honestly, they mean nothing at all.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 09:29 PM

I think pretty much everyone in a relationship still has sexual dreams. There is a huge difference between dreaming about having sex with someone else and actually doing it. You haven't done anything wrong. Obviously we can't control ourselves when we are dreaming, or the dreams that we have. While it may be that your dreams are expressing some kind of desire that you haven't yet come to terms with, chances are it's simply because you are only human. Humans are sexual beings, and there's no way to simply shut that off just because you're in a relationship. So, long story short: It's totally normal. xD

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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 09:34 PM

Having sexual dreams about someone other than your S.O. is completely normal. Sex dreams are your body's way of releasing sexual tension and can have nothing to do with the other person involved. No worries c:
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 09:42 PM

I wouldn't say it's cheating. You can't control your dreams. Maybe it's just a one time thing. I've had a dream like that when I was dating my ex. But I have never had sex before so I was kind of confused and felt bad too. But I talked to my friend and she said that it's normal and a one time thing.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 11:18 PM

This is normal and isn't cheating or anything that you should feel bad about but I would reccomend not bringing it up to your gf. I mean if she asks don't lie about it (that causes problems) but I wouldn't start the topic. Girls can get very upset about that kind of stuff even tho you can't control your dreams. If you ever need anything feel free to PM me.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 7th 2012, 11:30 PM

Happens to me all the time, it's nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you don't actually engage in intercourse with others, I don't see the wrong in having a dream.

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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 8th 2012, 01:30 AM

It happens. It's nothing to worry about. You're not cheating on your girlfriend because you had a dream about someone else. We can't help our dreams, no matter how hard we try. You will feel guilty, but there is no reason to because dreams never really amount to anything in reality.

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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 8th 2012, 03:31 AM

I don't consider it cheating, it was just a dream. It didn't actually happen

And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 8th 2012, 04:36 AM

Originally Posted by Melody View Post
I don't consider it cheating, it was just a dream. It didn't actually happen

It doesn't sound like you had a whole lot of advance preparation about these things, that it's normal. Unfortunately, in order to be able to accept...to even know..if these things are Ok, someone has to tell you factually and without bias what's biologically normal. Doesn't sound like that happened.

The sex drive, which is what fueled the dream, is not only entirely normal and biological, but also completely beyond conscious control. That might be different than what you heard, but it's true: For the past few Millennia, people have struggled to get others to control the sex drive, with varying amounts of success (or heart ache), largely owing to the biology of it.
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Re: Cheating Sex dream? - March 8th 2012, 05:11 AM

Many people have dreams in which they engage in sexual intercourse with someone(s) other than their partner, whether or not they and their partner actually have a sexual relationship. It's completely natural, and it doesn't mean you secretly have a desire to cheat on your girlfriend. Even if you have decided to wait, sexuality is still a normal part of the human experience, and it can be expressed in dreams. The fact that it's with someone other than your partner in the dream does not mean that you want to be with someone else.

Don't let your dream induce feelings of guilt. It was a dream, and you did nothing wrong by dreaming. If these dreams really do bother you speak to someone about them. But no matter what they say, you have nothing to be guilty for or ashamed about.

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