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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ally34 Offline
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staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 04:39 AM

hey guys, so i have been with my boyfriend 3 years and both 21.. we have not had sex yet but we have been trying to for a couple weeks..things just keep coming up like family coming home. now we have a mutual friend whos having a birthday pre drinking at a hotel suite and then going out to a club after. hes going to be sharing the bed with his girlfriend (my bfs twin sister) and then theres one other bed in the room and then everyone can crash on the floor kind of thing. now hes not sure whos actually going to stay over and who will call the other bed that night but it sounds like quite a few are staying and theres a good chance my bf and i wont get it lol and get the floor and wouldnt sleep together.

now since we want to have sex and been trying to for a while..we figured well perfect time.. ive been on birth control and hes going to use a condom. we told the friend whos party it is that well come pre drinking, and suite and then clubbing..then we might get our own room and he said yea go for it kind of thing. now thing is my parents are strick.. my bf and i tried planning overnight before just us and they said things like, your not engaged, and what if you dont marry him, what will you be doing alone in a hotel room with him, were not dumb yada yada..

so now my parents have no problem that im saying a suite with my bf and a bunch of friends.. for my birthday i did that too and i ended up sleeping with him same bed (no sex though) with all my other friends on myyy birthday a few months ago. now for this friends birthday we want our own room. i reallyy do not want to lie and say we are all in the suite when i know we are getting our own room.. but if i say we are sharing a room shes going to say stay with everyone in the suite, or come home (cause hotels and everythings same city i live iin) any advice on what to do? i duno what to tell my parents? also im pretty close well with my mom and i tell her everything.. ive even told her when i had my first kiss and stuff.. but then again we are close but she never really talks about sex to me ..she just made it like i can figure what you would be doing kind of thing last time we tried to plan overnight trip.. but yea i dont want to say we will or anything and dont feel its her business if we are or not.. i just also dont want to lie though and say we are staying suite with everyone when we are alone together. what can i do ?? ah also my parents are catholic (and myself) but none of us are very religious /strong catholics and either is my bf ..but they still see it as lack of values i guess..there thinking well they dont want there daugther sleeping with someone she might not marry kind of thing. and of course being parents. but like i said ive already slept same bed my bday in suite and didnt tell my mom or feel bad (with no sex) and then if we have sex his house anyways another day then theres not a huge difference. but any advice if i should tell my mom at least or what to say??

Last edited by ally34; April 13th 2012 at 04:53 AM.
   
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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 05:27 AM

Okay, I really only have one thing to say here. You're 21 years old. You're an adult, and old enough to make your own decisions. Even if your parents don't like it, there's really nothing they can do about it. It's your life. You're more than old enough to spend a night with him, especially considering you've been together for 3 years now! I think you should simply tell your parents that you understand their concerns, but you are an adult now, and this is a decision that you want to make. I know they probably just want to protect you, but you aren't a little girl anymore. Let them know you're responsible and you can handle yourself.


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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 05:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koharuchan View Post
Okay, I really only have one thing to say here. You're 21 years old. You're an adult, and old enough to make your own decisions. Even if your parents don't like it, there's really nothing they can do about it. It's your life. You're more than old enough to spend a night with him, especially considering you've been together for 3 years now! I think you should simply tell your parents that you understand their concerns, but you are an adult now, and this is a decision that you want to make. I know they probably just want to protect you, but you aren't a little girl anymore. Let them know you're responsible and you can handle yourself.
yea its just hard when i am close to my mom.. and even though im an adult they say your living at home, and my rules..and when you move out or are engaged then you can do what you want..
   
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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 05:40 AM

Then just sit down and talk to them. Explain that you're an adult now, you care about your boyfriend very much, you've certainly been together for quite a while, and this is a decision you want to make. Just talk calmly with them and try to get them to understand.


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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 10:06 AM

Rules are made to be broken.

Get the hotel room. Have a good night, don't get too smashed, because you still want to be okay to spend the rest of it screwing your boy. Enjoy it. Embrace the fact that you are breaking rules, asserting your independence as a grown lady and having a great time with your boyfriend.

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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 01:29 PM

I wholeheartedly agree with Haru. You're 21 years old. An adult. Your parents don't have to be an influence in the decisions you make. I was 17 years old and staying the night at my boyfriend's place. We had been together for a while at that time, and my family wasn't stupid. They knew what was going on. I wasn't an adult yet, but I was close enough that they gave the OK.

Talk them like an adult. Show them that you're mature enough to do this kind of thing with your boyfriend. After all, you have been together for 3 years.











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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 05:36 PM

i agree with everyone as well maybe try talking with them once again

Last edited by lynn221; April 13th 2012 at 05:46 PM.
   
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Re: staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend - April 13th 2012, 05:39 PM

ya i might try again to talk to them but they do have rules and i dont want to disrespect them or go behind there back.

also on a side note i was texting my boyfriends twin sisters, boyfriend.. thats whos party it is asking him how many people are staying and if my bf and i can stay in the suite at night too with his friends and he was saying ya of course and all. my bf, me, his twin sister, and her bf are not super close but we've gone on quite a few double dates in the past 2 years and we all get along. anyways i also mentioned to lets call him john whos bday it is that my bf and i mighttt get our own room and he was saying oh yea go for it have fun kind of thing. then he started getting inappropriate a bit saying like, do him harddd, and have fun and what positions have we done? asking about the pill im on and if we use condoms too and then i just said the truth , look we havent yet so stop asking kind of thing.. then i told my bf and he said i should have lied cause he has a big mouth. but i didnt tell him all the specific questions he was asking cause my bf already doesnt really like him (being his sisters bf) so i dont want to cause trouble. but do you think how hes talking to me is bad? i feel like its akward.. and hes done this before and try to get info about my sex life with my bf. since hes close though and how i know him i tend to be like lol and joke it off or be like ahah kind of thing. what do you think? is this bad? im little worried.. i want to tell my bf how hes been talking/asking stuff but then i know my bf alright doesnt like him not just for his sister but just his personality in general
should i tell my bf though what hes been asking me? but my bf will get mad at him and i dont want him thinking anything is going on with me and his sisters boyfriend, cause i actually dont really like him too much either aha!
   
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