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Question Kids Say Im Not Good Enough - December 13th 2016, 06:47 PM

Okay so I guess u can say im a young parent, Im 13 with two ¨kids¨. Some backround info: I was 8 when my dad left and mom was always asleep. So that left me watching my two younger siblings when they where 4 and 1. And when I was 11 I basically called my two younger my kids. Because I raised them for 4 years(now).

So I asked my oldest Ava (She is age 8 now) if I was good enough because I felt down and felt like giving up and she said no, because of my violent past and my anger issues. Little does Ava know that im diagnosed with depression, anger issues and bipolar. And I will admit, I can get violent, And when Ava said I wasnt a good mom(sister) that demolished me so I asked my youngest Donivan (he is 5) if I was good enough for him and he said ¨Ur to mean¨

And my kids are the only reason on why Im still alive. I want the best for my kids. I really do. How do I prove to my kids that im not bad and I am good?


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Re: Kids Say Im Not Good Enough - December 13th 2016, 08:07 PM

It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life right now and I'm sorry to hear that!

If you are having issues with anger and violence then it is not the best idea for you to be watching children. Being a true parent is doing what is best for your children and it sounds as if non of you are in a safe or healthy environment. Have you mentioned these issues with your counselor before? If you are getting violent or overly aggressive with children than its time for you to take a step back and get the help that you all need. Talking to your counselor that diagnosed you or a school counselor can help you get some help for your family. That's what a responsible adult would do, get help when they are in over their head. And if you are going to claim you are someone's parent, then you need to do the responsible thing and get help.

Trying to get validation from young children on good parenting skills shows me that you are not ready for this responsibility. And that is not your fault, it is OK to be young and not know how to handle these situations because you yourself are young. But asking the kids if you are parenting alright is not appropriate. They won't know how to respond and it obviously only upset you when they answered honestly.

I really do think the best thing you can do is reach out to one of the people I mentioned above. You need assistance with this that goes above and beyond helpful advice on the internet. You need someone in person and I know you have the strength to find the help you guys need.


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Re: Kids Say Im Not Good Enough - December 13th 2016, 10:59 PM

Thank You! Its just complicated, Im only 13 watching an 8 year old and a 1 year old all the time. And with the stuipd things I do around them which also makes it a terrible environment. I really am trying for them. I just want them to have the best but in order for that to happen, I need to change myself, which Im trying. I really want the best for my kids. And they deserve the best


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Re: Kids Say Im Not Good Enough - December 14th 2016, 03:16 AM

You're young yourself. I think part of the problem is you're looking for validation from young children. A parent shouldn't have to have validation because a kid is just as likely to say no to saying whether they are a good parent or not. Being a good parent doesn't mean that the person has to like the parent.
   
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Re: Kids Say Im Not Good Enough - December 16th 2016, 12:53 AM

you and your siblings are still too young to judge to be good or not. Many things can changes, so does your goodness. haha
I mean never mind what your siblings say. Maybe you're violent in some ways, but you will change day by day. You will become softer when you grow up. Want to be a nice person in your kids' eyes, give they as much candy as they want.
   
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