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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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talking about a past miscarriage - December 20th 2009, 03:53 AM

[Mods if you feel it should be somewhere else, put where you feel it should be]

I tell my girlfriend almost everything. i'm keeping one very important thing from her. we want to in the VERY distant future have a kid, and we've discussed it, i'd be the one to carry if we didn't adopt and i'm pretty sure i can't. and i feel she needs to know, because i miss my unborn child.

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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 21st 2009, 08:25 PM

Tell her?
And just because you miscarried once doesn't mean it'll keep happening. Just make sure you get regular check ups with your doctor when you do get pregnant and hope for the best

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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 21st 2009, 09:25 PM

I would just explain to her. Tell her exatly what you just wrote here.
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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 21st 2009, 10:35 PM

A lot of people have miscarriages, especially during the teenage years. I wouldn't worry too much about being able to conceive yet. One miscarriage is not a sign that you won't be able to conceive later. And there are so many fertility specialists and procedures that can be done.

Just talk to your girlfriend about how you feel about the miscarriage, but don't worry about being unable to concieve yet.

There is always hope. PM me anytime.
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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 22nd 2009, 01:00 AM

considering your age now you were still young when it happened and it really doesn't mean that you won't be able to carry to full term when the time comes. When the time comes and you do concieve talk to your doctor about precautions that you can take.

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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 23rd 2009, 12:38 AM

Hi there,

Communication is an important part of any relationship. If you feel that you may one day like to raise children with your partner, it's important that you share your fears and concerns. This must be such a difficult topic to discuss, and I am sorry that you had to go through such a painful experience. However, I think that having your partner's support would be quite beneficial.

As it has been said, the fact that you miscarried in the past does not necessarily mean that you will be unable to have children in the future. Sometimes, when we are younger, our bodies will "reject" a pregnancy, because our bodies are not yet ready to handle it. However, if you are concerned, I strongly suggest you speak with your doctor about your worries. He or she may be able to tell you more about why your body couldn't handle the last pregnancy, and what your future pregnancies could be like.

Remember, there are several ways to have a child. Have you considered adoption as a possible option? This is a great choice for many couples, as it not only brings a child into their home, but also saves that child from having to be put through the foster care system. I definitely suggest looking into this option if you haven't already.

Take care, and if you ever need anything, feel free to shoot me a PM.

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Re: talking about a past miscarriage - December 23rd 2009, 07:49 PM

as others have said, one miscarriage does NOT mean you will have any problems in the future with conceiving/carrying to term. Almost every woman will experience a miscarriage some time during their reproductive years, however, because most of these miscarriages happen before a woman even knows she is pregnant, it is just passed off as a heavy period. Anywhere from 20% to 50% of pregnancies result in miscarriage, but like I said before, in most instances the woman never even knows she is pregnant in the first place and has no reason to suspect miscarriage. If you have only had one miscarriage, you are at no raised risk of another one. I had a miscarriage at 10.5 weeks three years ago then three months later got pregnant with my son and had an uneventful normal pregnancy.

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