This is very hard for me, but here it goes...

[Jocelyn.]

I could never actually say any of this to my friends or family, but since this site is supposed to be anonymous I think I feel able to say how I'm feeling a little more freely here. Even though it's still hard because I've been feeling so ashamed about this...

I think I regret having my son.

I love him so much, and he deserves a better mom than the one he got.

I'm not patient, I'm not nurturing, and I don't feel like I can handle taking care of a baby much longer.

My boyfriend and I both agree, he is more cranky than most. He spends most of his day upset about something. He hates having anything done to him. He cries(no, screams till his face is beat red and can barely breathe) when he's the littlest bit tired/hungry/bored, he cries at new toys/people/places, he cries if I'm not holding him or paying attention to him, he cries when clothes go on and come off, he cries when his diaper is changed, when he is laid down when he's wide awake, the list is endless. He still wakes up multiple times a night. I even talked to the pediatrician about it, and he said its pretty much just his personality.

I'm alone with him all day, no friends or family close by, taking care of him by myself... the baby falls asleep shortly after my boyfriend gets home from work so he is no help basically.

On top of it I'm having a lot of problems (trust related) with my boyfriend, which is making me that much more stressed out.

I cry just about every day, and even though I really do love my son very much, I feel like I'm about to lose it. He deserves so much better than a mother who cries every time he does. And he's getting to the age where he is picking up on things. When mommy is sad, he knows.

When he is in a good mood though, things couldn't be better. I just wish his good moods where more frequent.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for really. I think I need some professional help maybe. Counseling, maybe anti-depressants...

Has anyone else been this extremely stressed out by their child? Are there things I can be doing to handle him better?

I seriously try everything to calm him down and nothing ever seems to work once he gets going. Either that or he wants me to walk him around all day, which I don't have the arm strength for because he weighs 18 lbs already. The only way I can get him to fall asleep is if he's taking a bottle... I try rocking, calming music, pacifier... he just screams until I give him a bottle, even if he's already eaten recently. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Imagine]

Obviously i don't know much about taking care of a child. Although, I'm sure the other girls that usually post in this fourm could help you. I do have a bit of advice though. You may want to talk to someone about this, Maybe some type of therapy. Anti- Depressants can help you, believe it or not. I think you should probably give that a try. Maybe explain to your boyfriend how your feeling? That you could use a little more help with your son. Again, i don't know how it is to raise a child, but I have seen my 18 year old cousin struggle to raise her son and daughter. Everyone goes through tough things in their life and i think you WILL get past this. For you and for your son. I hope things start to look up for you.

I'm always a PM away, if you need someone to talk to.

[LucyLouWho]

That's what babies do... They cry. They cry when they're hungry, tired, need changed, are bored, etc. They can't just say, "Hey, mom, I'm hungry." Crying is how they communicate.

I suggest you see a doctor as soon as possible and talk to them about Post-Partum Depression and see what they can do about anti-depressants.

But having a child is work. It's making bottles, changing diapers, giving baths, all of that. Since you're a mother, you're not going to be able to do whatever you want to anymore. That baby and all of his needs have to be met by you. I know of babies who at 2 years don't sleep completely through the night yet. Every baby is different and things will get better.

But I really do think it'll help if you see a doctor and talk to them about this.

[iHEAVENn]

You said that YOU cry often... Babies can pick up on our emotions... and they'll project the same back. If you can get help from a therapist and work on your issues it may make him a calmer baby.

But you have to understand he's going to cry, he's an infant. They all cry. Constantly. My son is two years old and some days he still whines for no reason other then to be a booger butt. If you know you've done everything to try and get him to calm down (feeding, rocking, burping, diaper change, swaddling, playing) then simply put him on the floor, walk to the other side of the room for a few minutes and let yourself relax before attempting to try and make him happy again.

Swaddling does wonders. Some people think you only swaddle a newborn.... I swaddled my son well until he was able to crawl lol!
Also, maybe try getting a few brightly colored picture books and reading them to him.

[Nicolette]

That's what babies do, they cry, eat, poop, and cry some more. Having a child can deffinately be frustrating on somedays, its tiring and emotionally draining when it seems constant. Alot of young mothers go through "baby blues" or post partum depression. I suggest you talk to your doctor/pediatrician and see what they can suggest for you, wether it be anti-depressants or counselling.

[Jocelyn.]

Originally Posted by MrsCVBerg

That's what babies do... They cry. They cry when they're hungry, tired, need changed, are bored, etc. They can't just say, "Hey, mom, I'm hungry." Crying is how they communicate.

I suggest you see a doctor as soon as possible and talk to them about Post-Partum Depression and see what they can do about anti-depressants.

But having a child is work. It's making bottles, changing diapers, giving baths, all of that. Since you're a mother, you're not going to be able to do whatever you want to anymore. That baby and all of his needs have to be met by you. I know of babies who at 2 years don't sleep completely through the night yet. Every baby is different and things will get better.

But I really do think it'll help if you see a doctor and talk to them about this.

I know I made it sound this way but I'm not complaining about the fact that I have to take care of my son. I don't want to go out and do what I want, when I want, I'm not complaining about feeding him, changing him, bathing him. I honestly love spending that quality time with him. I also realize that babies cry to communicate. I respond to every cry trying to do my best to fix whats wrong. I just am having trouble handling the fact that he seems to be bothered by everything. Ever since he's started to realize the world around him and whats going on, he doesn't like any bit of it.

He cries if I take his clothes off, cries if I put them on, cries when he goes in his carseat, whe he comes out, when I change his diaper, when he doesn't like the song his toy plays. Pretty much everything I do or don't do upsets him. I can't sit him down by himself for a second or he cries. We literally move from activity to activity all day because he isnt happy sitting still for a second. I never know what to do to make him happy. It would be nice here and there to just sit and cuddle on the couch and play with a stuffed animal. Its really hard to do this all day by yourself.

Originally Posted by iHEAVENn

You said that YOU cry often... Babies can pick up on our emotions... and they'll project the same back. If you can get help from a therapist and work on your issues it may make him a calmer baby.

But you have to understand he's going to cry, he's an infant. They all cry. Constantly. My son is two years old and some days he still whines for no reason other then to be a booger butt. If you know you've done everything to try and get him to calm down (feeding, rocking, burping, diaper change, swaddling, playing) then simply put him on the floor, walk to the other side of the room for a few minutes and let yourself relax before attempting to try and make him happy again.

Swaddling does wonders. Some people think you only swaddle a newborn.... I swaddled my son well until he was able to crawl lol!
Also, maybe try getting a few brightly colored picture books and reading them to him.

Thanks for the advice. I quit swaddling a couple months ago, but I'll try it again and see how it goes.

I do notice that when I'm upset he gets more upset. Its so hard for me to jus sit him down and walk away even for a minute because I just want him happy again, but I know it will be better on us both if I just take a breather here and there.

I talked to my boyfriend about seeing a doctor. He agrees it might be best. My stress, anxiety and depression is taking its toll on our relationship as well as my relationship with my son.

[J&M's Mommy]

I also agree that seeing a doctor would be best. I cannot relate to these feelings you are having entirely. I mean, my son loves to be held constantly and gets really upset when you put him down, but he is getting better. I couldn't imagine if it was the same today as it was a month ago.

You do not regret having your son, I am almost sure of it. I get those thoughts sometimes as well. You are just stressed out and probably have a lot of anxiety when it comes to dealing with your son. I am sure that seeing a doctor will open up more options for your. Best of luck & I hope things start getting better soon!

[fightingtheway]

Definitely go to the doctor. It really does sound like you have postpartum depression, I want you to realize something though... you are stronger than you think. Go to the doctor please, talk to them, get on some medication. The medication will be temporary, but it will help you so much... help your relationship with your boyfriend, and most importantly help your relationship with your baby boy. He will change. He may have colic, or he may be cold, there are a number of reasons. when you change his clothes, the temperature change can bother him, it still bothers my two year old sometimes. when you change his diaper, honestly, most babies cry at that point. My daughter is two, we are starting potty training, and she crys when i tell her she has to sit on the potty for ten minutes.
The medication for postpartum depression will make a world of difference. pm me if you want to understand my daughters moms struggle with postpartum. Its scary, so I don't want to scare you, but you need to get help.
if you want to talk, pm me.
things will get, not easier, but different later on. some children are just picky, but it may be something he gets over.

[vikki]

i know how you feel my littlest one doesnt stop crying worse at night and this is my third i didnt want to say anything to the doctor but i did they said its baby blues go see the doc they will get you on meds and dont think youll be a bad person for going on them i thought that but they told me its fine lost of moms go on them

[hopefaithlove]

You are not alone in being stressed out! Parents of all ages deal with what you're dealing through. I know it's easier said than done, but try and keep your chin up! You're doing a great job being a Mommy I'm sure! I'd definitely go to the doctor and talk to someone. Even getting some time by yourself here and there would do you well!!

There's not much to say about the crying and such. He's a baby. I am aware that TV is not recommend for babies, but have you heard of Baby Einstein?? They have DVDs for babies and toddlers. On some days when you're just stressed and need a few minutes to yourself, it is okay to put him in the bouncy seat or carseat and put that on! Babies that I sit for love Baby Einstein.

For now, just be patient with your baby! He doesn't know any other way to get what he needs. Everything will be okay.

[iHEAVENn]

I know it's hard.. I rarely did it because of how hard it was to walk away from him.
But it really is best to just relax and then try and take care of his needs again.
Some days, he's going to cry just to cry... those are days when it's nice to have chocolate and tea on hand

When you see a doctor, make sure you tell them everything you're feeling even if it relates to your relationship with your boyfriend.

[J&M's Mommy]

How are things going?

[Jocelyn.]

Originally Posted by SilasLoveツ

How are things going?

I'm going to call the doctor and make an appointment to talk to him about it. Whenever he can get me in, we're just going to have my boyfriends parents watch him that day so I can just have some time to myself to relax. I think other things have been making depressed, not just my son. And, I feel that's why I've been having such a hard time with him.

Some of our friends were in town last night with their 16 mo. old, and he was so cranky the whole time. It really opened my eyes and showed me, this is just how babies are. I feel like I'm doing better with my son though, because just being able to talk about it has made me feel better.

Thanks for asking

[iHEAVENn]

Yeah... Like I said.. I have a two year old.. and some days he's just a complete grouch butt. Glad you're starting to feel a bit better

[J&M's Mommy]

That is great hon! I hope you continue to feel better & just know if nothing else is possible and you need to vent, teenhelp is always here!