Triggering (Grieving): Babys Funeral?

[xx little miss clumsy xx]

Sensitive topic but I feel like I need to post
(Also if this should be in Death & Grieving, feel free to move it)

My boyfriends brother and his wife gave birth to twin boys on Sunday morning, they were three months premature. Sadly, one of them became an angel a few hrs after birth, and the other one on Monday morning.
The family are having a funeral service on Friday afternoon and, I'm going along to show my respect and support.

I've never been to a baby funeral before, what is it like?, and what are you expected to wear etc? Would it be similar to that of an adult funeral...And what do you say to people to have lost not one, but two children? (they have 2 other young children)

I've kinda been in tears on and off all week, its just heartbreaking really....(also that time of the month and my grandda passed away 4 years on Monday)...

Also do you bring anything? My mum was able to sort me out with a Mass Card...anything else? The family are Catholic.

I'm kinda struggling with the formalities...and just needed to get all that off my chest...

I'm just a bit lost...

Again, apologies if this is in the wrong part.

[iHEAVENn]

You would wear the same respectable clothing you'd wear to an adults funeral.
The mood at a baby's funeral is generally more sad... So expect lots of tears, lots of hugs.
If you want to bring something, maybe bring a nice home cooked meal to their house, or give it to your boyfriend to give to them. You can always give flowers too.

Or another sweet idea is a picture frame, for them to put their babies footprints/hand prints in (assuming the hospital got around to doing it for them)

[Melody Pond]

Originally Posted by iHEAVENn

You can always give flowers too.

I recommend asking them before sending flowers. A lot of people now ask for charitable donations instead of flowers.
Also ask the family about dress, I have been to many funerals where it has been requested people where bright colours as a celebration of life.

You could always ask them if you could donate some money to the hospital where they were born or treated in the babies names. I am sure they would appreciate that.

If you want to take anything then I would say take 2 single flowers to place on the coffins.

I think you should talk to your boyfriend and ask if there are an specific requests from the family for the funeral .

As for what to say, you should go with what feels right at the time and for you. It may be that a hug says everything and can be all someone needs.

[escape_thereal_world]

I've known a few people who have lost their young ones.

Generally it is the same as an adult funeral, but as Amy said, usually everyone is more solemn.

A present I gave my best friends mom when she lost her twins (it was near xmas) so I took a clear crystal ornament ball and wrote the babys' names on it with paint, then on the other side

"Protecting mommy from above,
Love,
Her Angels"

When I gave it to her shortly after the funeral she hugged me and cried.

Anyway, so anything from very sentimental to just a home cooked meal to help them through the next few weeks would be great.

[Imagine]

all i really have to say is that i am sorry for their loss
losing a child is never easy.