Triggering: i wish

[passionfruit3]

Ive been thinking i want a kid the sad thing is i don't really know how to take care of myself ive never had a boyfriend and im 18. And lately ive had this crazy thought that i would have a kid and the only way is if i was raped. Which i know would probably hurt and its pretty bad but i need some type of comfort from someone something ecspecially since my cat is gone. If i was raped it would just be me and my kid and wed be the best of friends id have a chance to meet someone afterwards.Im going through some problems right now and mainly it all has to do with no one cares about me and so ive decided i dont need someone to care about me i just need someone to take care of

[Simplyme7]

Having a baby is a big responsibility. It takes a lot of time, money and commitment. Its not something that you should go out and do just because you want something to take care of and to love you. Its a long term commitment. And getting raped? That's not something that you want to happen. I think that maybe since you are thinking about this, you shuold go check out the rape and abuse section. It's really not worth it. I know that one of our members actually did get pregnant from a rape, and she has a beautiful baby girl now. But I'm sure that she'd be the first one to tell you that having a baby is not easy, and that being raped is not something that you want.

Maybe you should look into getting a puppy or a kitten. Those still need you to take care of them, and they will love you. They also are a lot less maintenance, and much more acceptable to have.

I too am going through the wanting a baby phase. I see them everywhere, and both my boyfriend and I point them out and talk about how adorable they are. But we also both know that we are not ready for that. Babies cost a lot of money. We both want to get married, finish college, and THEN have children. Think about it. You're only 18. You still have plenty of time to find your mister right, settle down, and have children.

And just to clarify, I have nothing against teen moms. I am just against TRYING to get pregnant at such a young age. (And yes, I know that I am only 18 myself, but I do not feel that I am ready to have a baby yet either, and I've had more experience with babies than most girl my age that I know.)

Take care hun, and feel free to PM if you ever want to talk.

[Le bonheur*]

As the above user posted, a baby is a very big responsibility. If you are going to act upon this desire, be prepared to take on a life long commitment.

You stated something about being raped... Are you saying you'd be okay with being raped in order to have a baby? Cause if so, I think you'd need to talk to someone who did get raped (me) and realize how it really feels. It is traumatizing inside and out. I will never live the life that I wanted because of being sexually abused as a child.

I would definitely try to adopt a pet, to love and take care of. Or you could look into babysitting, so you can see how it really is to look after a child. (and you get paid, that's a plus).

Good luck hun, I hope you make the right decisions, cause either way, it can't be easy.

Take care, and if you ever want to talk, I'm just a PM away.

[Nicolette]

I think you're being a little irrational with your thoughts about conception. You're only 18, children take time and money. You're suddenly living for a little person, they depend SOLELY on you for EVERYTHING.

I have a 7 month old little boy, my husband and I waited until we were financially stable and ready to take on having a child and there's still days where I shake my head and wonder, its in no way an easy feat for anyone!

I agree with the notion of getting another animal, a puppy, kitty, something that you can love and will return your love. Having a child so young in life isn't at all easy, there's many hard things to overcome and don't think for a second that a baby magically fixes lifes problems, thats not the case at all in ANY situation. Give yourself some time and if you want a child so badly start on the path to ensuring that you can give your child everything possbile like becoming financially secure, getting into a good career, getting into a loving and long lasting relationship, and then start thinking about bringing another life into the world.

[ChapperIce]

Here's the thing, hun; a child is not a companion. You're talking in a way that makes the child sound like a replacement for a puppy or even a boyfriend or something. A child will not solve all your problems. Not only that, but you're only 18. I didn't meet my boyfriend until I was 18, didn't get kissed or have sex until then either. Just because you haven't got someone now doesn't mean you won't later on in life.

I think you need to concentrate on what's going on in your life right now and get your mind off having children (Especially through rape. Seriously, that's a horrible thought :\).

If you're dead set on having a kid, though, then how about you start with looking into a career? Kids are expensive and without a good job, especially if you'll be raising the kid alone as you're making yourself believe, it'll be very rough. So I say figure out what you wanna do in life if you haven't already, go to college, and work on getting a good job, save up money, get your own place, car, whatever if you haven't yet. Then, I'd say look into adoption or donors if you haven't changed your mind on resigning yourself to being alone besides your baby. I wouldn't want a child from a rape, I wouldn't be able to love it as much as I should, I think, but that's me personally. It actually makes me cry just thinking about it, about that possibility. I've never been raped but I had two close calls. Trust me, rape is not worth the "prize" of a baby.

[MisplacedDreamer]

The thing is that a kid is not guaranteed to love you. Sure they go through the cute phases where they love you, but eventually that child will grow up. He may become upset with you and tell you that you don't love him over something stupid. He may not be best of friends and he could turn into a rebellious teenager who wants nothing to do with you.

[Enchanted]

A child is a HUGE responsibility. My daughter is almost 13 months, I'm pregnant due in Feb. and i am only 21. Not even myself, was ready for it all. Me and my Husband are not at all financially stable. I suggest you wait it out.

[iHEAVENn]

Get a goldfish.
Seriously... if you want a kid but can think of no better way to bring a child in to the world other than getting yourself rapped... yeah get a goldfish.