what does it take to be the mom of bi-racial kids?

[pregnantandlost11]

well I'm not the most racist nor am I the most sensitive. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and this is my first. He's half african american half irish. I love him and I want to give himthe best life possible. I wouldn't care what race he was he's my son. That shit doesn't matter. I was raised beforeto stay within my race. And I was raised by a single mom and shewas friendly but like she did express that she felt better than them. I don't I think we're equal really. I mean I feel comfortable aroundmy own rather difference. I don't have any really friends that are black. And I don't want the dad involved. I feel sometimes like I'm not sure what to do about it. Yet all at this point I only know I unconditionally love him. But rather before this I never saw myself having a bi-racial child and never wanted to. I do wish he looked more like me given the situation. But that's it. Any avice? Is love just enough?

[Angel]

I'm not quite sure what you're asking here. It seems to me as if you are placing quite a deal of emphasis on the ethnicity or appearance of your child. Appearances only go so far. There are only a few children I see that are of mixed race. While they do not appear to be exactly similar to their mother, they are absolutely lovely nonetheless. If you are living in some place where it is more socially unacceptable to have bi-racial children, I understand there can be issues. You may have to prepare to face rude remarks about yourself or your child, but hopefully people are better than that.

Perhaps you should take this opportunity to try and keep an open mind on these situations. There is nothing wrong with having a bi-racial child. He's your child and will always be your child, just as you will always be his mother. Instead of worrying yourself over this, I think you should focus on yourself for now. Once the time comes, you can be the best mother you can be to your child. That is what matters.

Take care,

Sylvie

[pregnantandlost11]

I guess it's not wrong but I want it to look like me not just for racial reasons I don't think. And my mom I think would after a while be ok just not right away... It's morei dontwant accidentally do something wrong. Like stereotypeswhats ok what's not stuff likethat.

[RileyR]

My twins are bi racial. I'm white and their dad is black. And i never really gave it much thought but where I come from its not a big deal at all. So yeah I can see if its problem in your town or something but other than that I think love is just enough. I can understand where you are coming from though people ask me if I'm the nanny all the time and they sometimes make other rude comments but you just have to ignore people's ignorance. You can Pm though if you have any questions.

[LittleMiss]

I'm bi-racial, I honestly don't see it as a big deal?

[bitesize]

Are you Irish?? (: Honestly I think what you said about you wanting your child to look more like you for non-racial reasons couls possibly be a big thing behind this. If you don't want the dad involved, it's natural that you'll subconsciously not want a reminder of the father in your child, whether it be skin colour or anything else. I can see where you're coming from ~ and also if you've been raised to stay within your own race that might have had an effect on your thinking too. However there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a biracial child, more and more mixed race children are being born every day and I think that's cool. I don't think you really need advice for raising your child according to his looks ~ it's not a big deal and won't affect his personality or anything, obviously!! But I really think that whether he reminds you of the father or not, you'll find that it doesn't matter when it comes down to it, and you'll love him unconditionally in all his prettiness. Best of luck and congratulations!!x

[pregnantandlost11]

well in my previous thread I mentionedthe father sexually assaulted me so I rather not have that to remember. I am irish american but have a scottish surname. But like I said despite everything I love him no matter what I just hope my ognorant upbringing doesn't effect anything. And wasjust wonderingifwould.