abortion 3 months ago can't find comfort

[losteengirl]

I am 15 and had an abortion 3 months ago at 16 weeks. It was depressing because I had fallen in love and wanted the baby. But my parents made me abort. I did heroin and am still fighting with it. The dad was 31 married with a child. Everyone said it was inproper to keep it so I guess I decided I wasn't strong. So I aborted. Now I'm just feeling like no one cares about me as long as I wasn't pregnant that's all that matter the fact that the guy I was with pretty much the case went to shit. And now I feel like a loser for listening to everyone. I want to get pregnant again sometime because it seems it's the only time anyone ever care. Idk I just feel so angry and betrayed at everyone for this. I feel like the big loser in it all. I can't help but feel that way.

[Le bonheur*]

Hey there, I'm sorry nobody replied to your post. I was trying to think of something to write but never came back. But here I am. Anyhow, I am so so so sorry that you have had to go through this. Being forced into an abortion does not sound like a healthy way to go through with it - it should be YOUR decision and no one else's. However, you have a drug problem and that wouldn't have been good for the baby just as it isn't good for you. Please don't get pregnant again until you are clean of drugs and in a stable environment where you can raise the baby. If you get pregnant now and you're still struggling with drugs, it can hurt the baby and I don't think you truly want that. Right? It's normal to feel angry and betrayed. You lost a part of you when you aborted that baby and you feel like it's their fault for pressuring you. I completely understand and it's normal. Don't feel like a loser. You're not. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me. I didn't have an abortion so I can't relate to that part but I have lost two babies to miscarriage so I can relate to the falling in love with the baby part and how it hurts to not have him/her here. Take care of yourself. <3

[Angel]

I'm terribly sorry that you were made to go through this. It's only natural that you would feel angry and betrayed afterward. Now you know that you can think for yourself the next time around. The people who are close to us may have the best intentions in mind and want to help us out, but they do not hold complete authority in the way you make your decisions. When it comes to those who mean well, take their advice to heart but allow yourself to think for yourself.

It would be a good idea for you to address the issue of the drug problem before you try and get pregnant again. You would want to bring a child into this world healthy and happy, yes? You need to look after yourself first and foremost if you have such desires. This child will be dependent on you beginning from day one of conception.

If you're having a hard time getting attention at home, try and find it another way. Talk to someone about your concerns. By getting pregnant you would be bringing another person into the equation. You need to think and act out for what is best for you and your child since it concerns more than yourself.

I sincerely wish the best for you. Take care.

[Dr.Bobby]

A lot here! Like everyone, I am sorry you are feeling so badly. Take some time to heal and be extra nice to yourself. However, It might be best to see what you're going thru as a small part of a much bigger problem: Your judgment and the ways you choose to make up for the love in your life you're missing. Heroin, babies, and married men won't compensate for what you're missing. It only complicates it, and actually makes it less likely that you'll actually get what you really are so desperately searching for.

I'd really recommend you get to a doc who can assess your heroin addiction and get you some really good rehab. Part of that is also some therapy to give you the skills to manage your neediness and find ways of getting that which you seek, rather than the substitutes that cause so much trouble for you.

Talk with your folks about this, let them help you resolve the underlying issues and give you the tools you need to get what you rightly deserve.