PLEASE READ**MAY BE A JERK

[DJ*FLASH*19]

hello everyone,

okay so i feel like i am a huge a**hole, but i need advice.

i found out one of my best friends is pregnant. she took the test and it came out postive. she cried and all i could do was just silently hold her and let her cry into my shoulder. (she wasnt planning on being pregnant)

anyways, i fully support her and i told her that and she is happy. but im a little of a hypocrite. although i fully support her. im being selfsih

here are my feelings:
she will never be the same person again
she is my party partner....not anymore
she is not gonna be as fun
i cant rough house with her anyone
and i feel like she is making a HUGE mistake and i honestly think she is not financially stable enough to take care of this kid
im against abortion for the most part. i think the mother should have the choice. and in the case. it may should be in the running as an option

also at one point, i even thought to myself.. well if she misscarries, then it will be over with. under NO circumstances do i want her or anyone to ahve to deal with a miscarriage

so idk what to do. idk what to say to her. because i dont want to upset her or make her mad at me. there is no one i can talk to about this cause she has only told 3 or 4 people about it.

does anyone have an advice? i feel like a dick because here she is abut to have her life changed for ever, and it seems on this blog that im just worried about partying and have a good time. UGH. im so mad at myself and frustrated with the situation cause im literally lost on what to do. i dont want her to chagne. and i feel like if she was to have a kid, she should wait a few years. i feel like she is not ready or in a good state to have a kid.

yes im being an a**, and you can bash me here and i wont get mad. but i really do need advice. soo please help. please.

[Aletheia*]

Continue to be supportive of her. For 9 months, she isn't going to be your party partner. But, it's not like she's never going to be able to do anything again. Just act as you normally would with her without everything else. If you're only friends with her because she parties with you, then it might be time to give yourself a second glance.

[Jas]

I think those are totally normal feelings when you're dealing with someone that's young and unintentionally pregnant. God knows I thought a lot of the same things when my sister was 20 and pregnant, and when a friend's 18 year old brother got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant - and I think that as long as you are supportive with her and don't let your worries impact her decisions (to the best of your ability) it's totally okay. I mean, you're right - no matter how it plays out, this will affect her life forever. (My sister, for her part, had my nephew... and I'm glad she did because he's an amazing kid, but it did change everything.) And again you're right because financially it is H.A.R.D. to care for a child at any age, let alone in your teens/early 20s. But you're also right when you say it's her choice. You know, she's probably thought the same things as you, considered them, who wouldn't? No matter how lost you feel, she's right there with you in the lost realm. But as far as what to say and do -> I think you just need to do what you're doing. Tell her you're supportive (and follow through on this, be as supportive as you can) and when you're feeling frustrated or lost, vent here, or in a journal. Get it out of you, but not to her face. She doesn't need more to worry about. Also, realize that it's okay to feel selfish and that it doesn't make you an asshole. No emotions do, it's your actions that define that one. So be nice to you too.

[Angel]

The most you can do for your friend is to be supportive of her right now. While this may be an unintentional pregnancy, she's the one to have to live with the decisions she makes in the end. Stick by her no matter what decisions she may make. Pregnancies can bring great change not only to the people who are expecting, but also to those close to these people. You have a friend in her and are used to going out and partying. While she can't party with you anytime soon, she is still your friend. Unless all you do is party, I don't know if she'll be less fun. Things may be different, but is that necessarily a bad change? Things will sort themselves out with time. You need to realize that everyone evolves and it is actually a good thing in most cases. Things may have not turned out ideally, but they were bound to happen at some point.

[DJ*FLASH*19]

thanks for all the great advice!

to shannon- absolutely not! she is sooo much more to me than just my party partner. she is one of my best friends and i love her a lot. which is why this made me think im a dick for feeling this way. cause id seriously do anything for her.

jas and angel- youre both right. all i have to do now is be supportive of her. she has my 100 percent support. even though i was being a hypocrite by being selfish thinking that she is not the person i became friends with.... and i guess change is a good thing. hmm.

ill do more self searching and thinking. but i think everyone is right and i have to just be supportive and go with the flow. i love her bc she is one of my best friends. and she is dealing with more serious decisions than i am.

thanks for helping me :]

[Kitty]

Well, one thing I would consider doing is asking her plans and what options she has considered. I wouldn't press any one issue, but just listen to her.

[Nicolette]

support her and be there for her, believe me she's having lots of thoughts about this too. Being a mother does change social aspects but if you're her best friend then you'll be there for her and accept these new changes and hopefully something positive will come out of it for the both of you.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

As others said, support her. Support her no matter what her decision is. Yes, things will change. But once the baby is born, you'll see that these changes were necessary. Your friend may not be your party partner anymore, but that's what happens when you become pregnant. She knows she has to grow up for the sake of the baby.