Involving the baby daddies family when he isnt in your life.

[nouse]

My boyfriend is dating this girl who is pregnant with another guy. The guy has absolutely nothing to do with her. He's basically an 18 year old jock in high school, and a really big jerk. He wants nothing to do with her or the baby, but his family LOVES her and wants them to be together, though she doesn't like him at all. (She was drunk when she had sex with him to make a long story short).

Anyway, recently she's been giving sonogram updates and such to the boys parents. So I'm wondering what you think of this? Should she share this information with them, since they are biologically the grandparents even though he wants nothing to do with her, and she's moving in with my brother? The baby will be raised by my brother, and we'll basically be it's family. So I'm just not sure how she should be dealing with the situation with the biological fathers family.

Thanks, I guess this might be a difficult thing to answer. My family just doesn't know what to make of it.

[Aletheia*]

That decision is completely up to her. Who are we to judge? Just because the babies father doesn't want anything to do with doesn't mean that his parents need or are going to be the same way. If they want to be in the child's life, they have the legal right to know about their grandchild, and if they wanted too (and if she wasn't sharing updates with them and such) they could take her to court to get rights, such as visitation. It's great that they still want to be involved, and it's great that the baby will have a father figure in his/her life. That baby is going to have one amazing support system.

[Angel]

He may be a jerk, but family means something to some people. I think it's sweet that they have worked out an arrangement where the grandparents are involved in the child's life. I'm quite glad that they are in support of her throughout this pregnancy since this can be a difficult time. This child is what is important right now, rather than the politics of the matter. As long as the child has a family that loves and supports him or her, who is in it matters very little.

[kadyCHAOS]

im lost, YOUR boyfriends dating another girl while he's with you in the first place...?

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by kadyCHAOS

im lost, YOUR boyfriends dating another girl while he's with you in the first place...?

I think she meant brother. In the bottom of the post, it said my brother will raise the child.

[The Goblins Blade]

I personaly think he has the right to see his kid or not.

[escape_thereal_world]

I don't think it should bother anyone that the boy's parents want to see their grandchild. I think it's great. More support and more family that the child has, and the mother.

The dad doesn't have to be involved if he doesn't want to. That's his choice. Maybe with the baby being around his parent's, he might realize he actually cares.

Who knows. Either way, I think it's great they want to be involved.

[nouse]

Originally Posted by Zelophobia

I think she meant brother. In the bottom of the post, it said my brother will raise the child.

Ahh, yes, sorry haha. I did mean brother! I would fix it but it won't let me edit it.
Anyway, thanks guys. You're all right, I see now.

[TakeTheLeap]

I see nothing wrong with that at all. If her baby's daddy's family wants to be involved and she's fine letting them, I see nothing wrong with it. After all, who would want to deny a baby all the love and affection he/she deserves?
The decision is up to her, and she seems to be fine with allowing two more grandparents into the child's life, and I think it's fabulous that his family wants to step up to the plate (especially when their son does not) and I also think it's wonderful that your brother is ready to become a father figure and it sounds like the rest of your family is okay with the situation as well.

The more people to love him/her, the better, right?

[nouse]

Yeah, I understand all that.
I guess the only reason it bothers my family slightly is because my brother is afraid she may not be fully committed. The biological father and his family have veerryy much money, and we don't. So they have a lot to offer and are trying to persuade her into being a part of the family. We're just worried that if she gets involved with them, they'll sneakily start talking her into being with that guy anyway somehow. I mean, she went out on a date with him and ended up pregnant, one day after breaking up with my brother then got back with him right after it. Even though she even then claimed she hated the guy.
It's just a worry-filled situation. I agree it's good for them to be involved, I just hope it's not for all the wrong reasons. Especially when, in reality, we're not exactly 100% sure that it's not my brothers, because the baby is still unborn.

[escape_thereal_world]

There are a few ways they can do a Prenatal Paternity Test to determine who the father is. She should probably look into that. You can usually only do those until 24 weeks along. Then you have to wait until the baby is born to do a paternity test.