dont know what to do!

[bandhottie]

So i'm like 99.9% sure i'm pregnant. i've been late on my period blah blah blah typical symptoms only thing is i havent actually taken a test. I need to know how i should break it to my family and my ex- the baby's daddy. i'm only 16 and my parents arent going to approve at all. but i want to show them that i'm trying to be responsible and put the baby up for adoption so he/she can go into a family that can care for him/her. how do i let people know? i havent told anyone yet and im scared... :/ i just need as much advice as i can get

[Chris.]

Before you tell anyone, take the test! Trust me, you dont want to get your family and everyone worked up if you are not 100% sure you are pregnant. Go to the gas station, or to a local store and pick one up.

Once its 100% sure, then I would break it to the family first. I know people can come up with some creative ways of telling their parents, but I think the straight foward way is best. I would do it when you parents are alone, maybe watching tv. Tell them, but before you let them speak tell them you want to give it an adoption agency. They will proabably get upset, which is understandable. Let them calm down - then tell your ex. He will proabably think you are liying, but dont get too worked up over it becuase he will believe you when he sees you 4 months pregnant. Then I would only break it to people you care about - other family members and best friends. Eventually everyone will find out but they dont need to be told your buiessness before hand.

Your doing the right thing. Goodluck.

Best wishes,
Chris

[Aletheia*]

Chris is right; you need to take a test to be sure before you say anything to anyone. There could be many reasons why you have missed your period, such as a change in diet and stress, and there could be many reasons why you think you're experiencing symptoms. You cannot be 100% sure unless you take a pregnancy test. You can purchase one from any pharmacy or drug store, or even the dollar store. The directions are simple, and most tests give you a result within 2-3 minutes of taking the test.

Once you know, I would explain it to your family first. Their first reaction might not be what you expect, but if you explain that you'd like to use adoption as your number one option, they'll be more willing to hear you out. This decision is completely up to you, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. From there, you can pick and choose who you'd like to know, though you won't be able to hide it forever. Just take a test to be sure first.

[bandhottie]

I neglected to mention that the last time i was with my ex was during the summer, five months ago....I havent had a period since then. I'm pretty sure it hasnt been late because of diet changes or stress.

[Incompris]

Originally Posted by bandhottie

I neglected to mention that the last time i was with my ex was during the summer, five months ago....I havent had a period since then. I'm pretty sure it hasnt been late because of diet changes or stress.

That's a long time, you really need to tell your mum and take a test.... now. If you are pregnant you only have four more months before the baby is born. Babies need prenatal care for them to be healthy, the sooner you find out if you are pregnant the better for the baby's sake and your own.

[Maloo]

Chandler is completely right. If you think you're that far along, you NEED to have doctor's appointments. You need to take a test and go to the doctor, because if you are pregnant, you're putting your baby's health at risk right now.

[Aletheia*]

Agreed with the others. If you haven't had your period in 5 months, this should have given you a red flag in your mind that something was wrong, and you should have gotten tested a long time ago. If you are pregnant, which again, only a pregnancy test can tell you (and this answer WILL not change), you need to have regular doctor's visit to ensure your babies health.

[Jennifer]

If you are more than 5 months along, taking a test wouldn't help after a few months the urine isn't as strong or so I heard. I think it would be time to own up and tell your parents. I would be sure that they may be able to tell by 4 1/2-5 months you would have a bit of a belly (not everyone does) but go to a doctor or if there's a local pregnancy clinic go in. Because there's no way to know unless you test.

[escape_thereal_world]

If it has been that long, you need to go to the doctors. You are putting yours and your baby's health at risk. I'm not sure if a blood test could work this far along, but I know an ultrasound would.

You can try planned parenthood, which they are confidential so they should not tell your parents unless:
1) You are being hurt by someone.
Or
2) You have a positive STI test because they have to report it to health departments incase of outbreaks (but you are still anonymous).

Generally PP can help you get anything you need done for free. Although, I think you should tell your parents, I also understand waiting until you know for sure

[VikingJones]

Originally Posted by bandhottie

So i'm like 99.9% sure i'm pregnant. i've been late on my period blah blah blah typical symptoms only thing is i havent actually taken a test. I need to know how i should break it to my family and my ex- the baby's daddy. i'm only 16 and my parents arent going to approve at all. but i want to show them that i'm trying to be responsible and put the baby up for adoption so he/she can go into a family that can care for him/her. how do i let people know? i havent told anyone yet and im scared... :/ i just need as much advice as i can get

Go to the store and get a test. While the hormones aren't as strong if you're this far along, they're still there and you'll show positive.

Then, sit down with your parents first. Unless your parents are utterly horrible (most aren't) they'll understand that you made a mistake and that you're being grown up enough to come to them about it. And that you're responsible enough to have some sort of plan. Make sure they understand that adoption is your number one option.

Telling the ex is (this is my opinion) totally up to you. Let him know if you think he'll take it well, but if it's going to cause problems, don't tell him. That one can go either way.

Anybody else you tell is entirely up to you. Albeit, people are going to notice. These things are kind of hard to miss.

If you are pregnant, and it's not just something else causing you to miss your period, don't let your friends get all dewy-eyed over it. Make sure that whoever you tell is aware that you want to give the child up to a family who will love it. This will make the separation that much easier since you won't have planned anything for the child.

Originally Posted by bandhottie

I neglected to mention that the last time i was with my ex was during the summer, five months ago....I havent had a period since then. I'm pretty sure it hasnt been late because of diet changes or stress.

If you are this far along, you should be able to feel the baby moving. If nothing's moving around in there, or your pants aren't getting at least a little tight around the waist, then something is wrong. Either it's something else that is causing you to miss your period but you're not pregnant, or you did conceive and something else went wrong.

I didn't show almost at all until I was 6 months along. But I could feel my daughter moving at 3-4 months. I was also violently sick, but that depends on the woman and the pregnancy.

I'm not trying to scare you, so take this with a grain of salt:

Tell your parents about your suspicions and get an appointment with your ob/gyn ASAP. If a urine test doesn't confirm you are pregnant, the doctor can. They'll may or may not do an ultrasound, most doctors that are specialized as ob/gyns (don't go to your normal family doctor for this) can tell just by palpating your abdomen and doing a pelvic exam.

If you are pregnant, and they didn't do the ultrasound, they are going to want to. You can tell them not to show the gender of the baby if you don't want to know. Ultrasounds are good things to have. They can tell you if everything's alright with the baby or if there is an issue. However, if anything was going to go wrong with the development of the fetus, it would have happened by now. The first trimester is the most sensitive time in the development. It's when the neural tube closes and any disorders or defects are most likely to happen. I say this mainly because you haven't mentioned any kind of movement or anything. No movement during a pregnancy is a very bad thing.

If you're not pregnant, the doctor is still going to want to do some tests to find out why you are missing your period. If you have been under undue stress, are extremely athletic, or extremely under or over weight, this is actually normal and is called amenorrea (sp). However, there are medical conditions that can cause you to lose your period. Most of these are not common in young women, though, so you're doctor will want to check it out.

If you are pregnant, get a bottle of multi-vitamins (Flintstones work just fine and aren't just for kids) that has DHA in it. DHA is a good thing to have when pregnant.

[anahelp12]

im sorry! im 16 too and am in the same situation. my parents are hardcore christians and strongly believe in sex after marriage. i was dumb and had sex with a guy i met 2 hours before it happened and havent talked to him again :/ im buying a test this friday if i have money but im pretty sure i am.