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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BabyIndia Offline
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3 Year Old nephew - December 18th 2011, 12:37 PM

My 3 year old nephew has recently started saying he hates his mother and he wants to get a gun and kill her. We've tryed asking him why he's saying this and the only thing he will say is "she's horrible and I hate her"
He's highly intelligant for a 3 year but have no idea where he's picking this up from.

Useful Information.

She's recently moved into a new area, with her new boyfriend of about 2 months.
He stays there everynight and he has a little boy too.(Age 6)
She wont let my nephew see my parents only the biological dads parents, but always kicks a fuss up about him going.
She prefers it when it suits her or benifits her i.e Grandparents have child so she can go out and get drunk.

I Wouldn't say shes a "bad" mother, she just goes about things the wrong way, but surely it says something when your child says he hates you and wants too kill you.

He has no medical things wrong with him, such as autism or ADHD.
And he was such a happy little boy that liked to go to nursery.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 18th 2011, 04:22 PM

This is a time when children pick up on everything! He's getting older now, so he's going to begin realizing that the person caring for him isn't his mother. He won't know why, but she'd probably be out drinking. There is also a factor of what she's allowing him to watch on TV. He's going to hear things like this, and will say things too. Sometimes, it doesn't mean anything but it's worth keeping an eye on. You should talk to your sister about spending more time with her son. She made the decision to have sex, and got pregnant. Now she needs to step up and be a parent to her child. Drinking should be the last thing on her mind right now.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 18th 2011, 09:53 PM

If he is going to nursery and he is 3 he may be learning things from there or from television. He is right at the age where they start listening to things around them and pick it up pretty quick. He might just be saying it and not even know what he is talking about. But I have heard of cases where they know exactly what they are talking about and there have even been some young kids who actually have tried beating up their mothers one minute and then they next they are saying I love you. There usually are reasons for that happening but it is different for everyone. It could be innocent or it could be serious. Definitely keep an eye on it.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 19th 2011, 02:54 AM

He's at that age where kids start to repeat everything they hear. He might have heard something like that from another kid at nursery, on TV, or some other place out in the world. Without his mom being around to reprimand him for it, he hasn't had the chance to learn that this isn't something he should be saying. You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with your sister. She got pregnant and made the decision to keep her child. Now, she needs to step up and be a mother! If she's not going to do that, it would be wise to start checking into options, so your nephew has the chance to grow up in a loving home.

Also, I'm sorry if any of this sounds like it was bashing your sister. That wasn't my intention at all. It's not my place to insult a member of another person's family.

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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 19th 2011, 02:09 PM

It's okay about the "sounding like im bashing her" she's not the nicest person in the world anymore since she moved in with him(the new bf).

She doesn't let him watch tv only his kids dvds he has, but saying that he used to watch Fireman sam, and theres a boy in it that trys to set the house on fire. My nephew tryed to that a few days into her living in the new house, said if i burn it down i wont have to live with her anymore.

He's never been like this, He was talking at 1 and a half and was picking stuiff up at 2, like when i stubbed my toe on the baby gate and yelled " oh for fuck sake" and he went round saying it for ages age :$.

He used to live with my parents as she was moving all the time to be with new boyfriends and basically as my dad said "thinking of her vagina more than her son"

Shes cutting everyone off and shes spiting the child tbh. He can't wait to get out of her house and into nursery or to his other grandparents house.

She cant really be bothered to look after him, but wants to still get the benift for it such as the benifits and people saying oh isnt he cute or brainy. The 1st 3 years of his life she didnt give a shit,(hes 4 in jan) my parents brought him up, everything he knows has been taught by either myself or grandparents.
She's only 19 but thats no excuse not to bring him up properly.
His bio father is looking into getting access as shes not letting him see the child anymore, and apparntly grandparents have legal rights too, so both sets are looking into that.
I've tryed talking to her, I've tryed everything she just doesnt care as long as she's got a boyfriend, she says they trying for a baby after xmas they've been together just 2 months :/..
It's nearly xmas and shes bought the child nothing, but has gone out and bought her boyfriend presents.
She's even offered him to me saying "i'll keep the benifits but will you have him and bring him up" I wasnt and still not in a postion to take him (live with husbands mother atm) but i wish i'd done it. :@:@

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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 19th 2011, 04:12 PM

Perhaps it has to do with the boyfriend or his son?

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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 25th 2011, 12:01 AM

Her boyfriend is really strict, and my nephew hates him. The little boy is only 6 and they used to get on, but because he's always there my nephew has started to dislike him aswell, because he's always picking at him, and trying to get him into trouble with my sisters boyfriend.

My parents are ringing social services because he has scratches on his back in places he can't reach, and the guy shes "living with" is a bit strange, he burps really loudly in both kids ears, when he breaks wind he shouts at them to "boff it" he apparntly used to stick his finger up his kids bottom and shout finger of fudge, which now the child thinks its right to do it to other people. He constonatly yells at both kids.

One night both kids were at mine and were playing and talking to each other, as kids do, they were told to shut up sit still and be good.

Tonight its xmas eve and they are both very excited been 3 and 6, so they were bopping about and gernally being excited they got told to shut the fuck up, calm down and sit down. He does nothing but swear at them, and my sister just lets him.

It's breaking my heart when hes shouting at my nephew for nothing, as apparntly i cant say anything aas he isnt my son, so i have to butt out.

  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 29th 2011, 05:02 AM

I don't have any specific advice but, man, my heart breaks for your nephew. I live with my 3.5 year old nephew and I adore him, I can't imagine my little man living in that situation. I'm not really sure if this is good advice, but if talking to your sister doesnt help, I'd bring in some authority if possible. It sounds like he desperately needs to get out of there.

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Re: 3 Year Old nephew - December 29th 2011, 06:42 AM

I agree with the above posters. Keep on calling social services. Your nephew shouldn't be in that type of environment. No child should. Hopefully, he would be able to live with your parents. Or, the other grandparents. I know they can take your sister to court for custody. But, that would just cost too much money and start a fight. Sorry if I can't help. I have a 6 year old nephew. His dad (my brother) is in jail for about 2 more years and he never sees him. And, his mom isn't the greatest mom. They always do drugs and live in a bad neighborhood to the point where other kids beat up my nephew and try to stab him. So, I understand. I really hope you can get your nephew out of there and in with his grandparents.

I wish you the best. <3

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