Triggering: Her Only "Parent"

[Ashleyhateslife]

Sorry it's so long, but please read and help us!

I need to adopt my step sister! I live in Michigan, USA and they won't allow it. Her mom neglects her majorly. They went a week with out toliet paper, her mom was going to make her walk the highway alone for 15-20 minutes, she doesn't have shampoo, no clothes that fit...... She just neglects my stepsister, and it doesn't seem to bother anyone else because my step sister has a roof over her head, and food, and that shit. My step dad won't do anything, my step sister is 7. No one show that they love her, she thinks I am the only one who loves her, even though I try to explain that some people just aren't good at showing it. Today she told me that her mom hit her sister... And that she was afraid her mom was gonna hit her. Her mom didn't hit her, thankfully. But if it could happen to her sister, it could happen to her. I am the only one who takes care of my stepsister. However, I am only 17 and I cannot finically support myself and a 7 year old, I can support her in every other way though. I just need to be her guardian so I can make most decisions for her. It's frustrating that I can't because I would be the best person to take care and continue raising her.... But I can't. My therapist tells me to just keep talking to my step sister until she is old enough to move out..... I can't wait that long, and she can't either. Her mom makes me so mad. It makes me mad that nobody else will stand up for her. What do I do? She is like my own daughter, I've helped raise her since the week she was born.... HELP! Her and I both need your help. Nobody sees the pain she is going through except me... What in the world can I do?

[Jaguar]

Get in touch with whatever the child protective services is called in Michigan. Make a log of what they do, or don't do and when. There's a way to get her away from them and put her in a good home, and usually they place the child with a relative if possible. You didn't say how old you are, and that could be a factor. The idea is to get her out of a neglectful situation and I think the authorities can help you do that.

[Aletheia*]

At 17, they won't allow you to adopt your step sister seeing as you're most likely still in high school, and the fact that you can't financially support yourself, let alone another person. Once you're 18, it may be considered if you could prove that you could financially support her, but right now, it would be impossible for you to physically adopt her. Not only this, but it's a long, and often terrifying legal experience that will cost you money as well, and right now, that is ALSO impossible.

I agree with Stephen. I would contact social services for the state of Michigan, and see if there is anything THEY can do. In cases like this, they'd try to contact family members first before considering placing her with someone who isn't family. If she has any living relatives that live nearby or are willing to take her in and support her like she needs, social services would then place her with said family. If not, she'll go to a foster family where she'll be supported as well. You can still have contact with her, but this is something you'd need to double check with social services to make sure it can happen. I'm sure you wouldn't want to lose contact with her completely, and something is better than nothing.

Right now, your only choice would be to get a hold of social services for your state. You can discuss options for her, tell them what her parents do and don't do, and let them know you're extremely concerned.

I'm sorry there isn't much more you could do, but this is better than leaving her in the situation she's in now. No child should have to go through this.

[Ashleyhateslife]

I realize that I could not adopt her now. I want to call CPS but I want some proof, which is hard to get. I would adopt her when she is about 11, I'd stay living at home with my parents. When she is 11, I'll be a RN and working on becoming a CRNA or NP. My college is paid for, so I most likely won't be in debt. I want to do something else, CPS here usually won't take a child out of the home unless of physical abuse or drugs. I took on a parenting role at about ten, and I know her better then anyone else does.... It just sucks that the courts won't see it that way. If not adopting her then I'd like to get custody of her, fully. With supervise visitation. It'd be the best for her, and I love her like my own child so I am willing to do this, it's just the court system up here is so strict that it makes everything so much harder. I am really close to just beating the shit out of her mom. But I won't because of my step sister and our possible future. I could handle everything in four years, five tops.... But Id still have to go through court and fight for her, I'm saving up for that now. I want to do something now, where I will know she will be safe, and healthy when I am not with her.... But I can't, and it breaks my heart. I am losing my mind and havig anxiety attacks due to this situation. I need to find away to fix our, including my, problems. I want to do tha now, I don't want to wait any longer. Is there anything I could do with her school, or doctor, or anything to help her get out of her moms faster, CPS won't do much, but I will call them soon! She doesn't deserve this, she deserves to be happy. Do I say something to my step sister? Tell more family? I don't know what to do! I feel like I am handling this totally wrong!

[Ashleyhateslife]

What would everyone else do? :/ she is sick right now, and just fell asleep in bed with me, is that weird that she sleeps in the same bed with me when she gets upset or sick? Everyone around me seems to think that my step sister needs to stop looking at me as a mom, and that I should stop looking at her as a daughter. :/ It's hard, it seems that the only person who understands is my friend.... Soon to be boyfriend. It's hard explaining it to everyone. Anyone else ever gone through this? I don't even know what I'm asking, maybe support?

[Aletheia*]

There isn't anything wrong with that at all. The people who tell you this don't understand or even know your home situation, and while they're just trying to express their opinion to you, it doesn't mean you have to feel that way about it too. Their opinions should matter, but you don't have to follow them. If you're both comfortable, continue going about what you're doing.

[Ashleyhateslife]

Thanks! I wish I could say she was my legit daughter! Friends are close enough, for now.