will i be a bad mum???

[rachael66]

i know noone knows the answer buti am 18 years old and will be a single parent once my baby is born as the father has now done a runner. I am unsure weather to go through with the pregnancy however if i do i have a fear of turning out to be a bad mum. I am 18 years old and this pregnancy will mean i have to drop out of uni, i have a part time job which hardly covers anything let alone adding a babies cost to it, i dont have the support of the father or his family and am struggling to tell mine from fear of being unsupported or rejected by them. I know how to look after a baby as i have been raised by them my whole life, does anyone know any support lines or been through similar situations themselves.

[FillingWithHope]

I don't know any support lines but I don't think you will be a bad mom at all. As of now your just trying to figure out how to support the child and don't get me wrong but many mothers have trouble with this. I would tell your parents as soon as possible because the faster you tell them will help a lot.

[Aletheia*]

I don't think you're a bad mother. My mother raised both me and my sister single. My sister's father passed away before she was born, however, he wanted nothing to do with her. My parents broke up before they even knew my mother was pregnant, but he has never been a part of my life other than a few phone calls and cards a year. You CAN do it. Just because you have to drop out of uni doesn't mean you can never go back. You can ALWAYS go back. A lot of mom's struggle with how they're going to care for a child. You are NOT alone. You really need to tell your parents. This can't be hidden forever.

[Tegan]

Hey, this must be so tough for you at the moment but good for you that you're thinking about all your different options. That sort of maturity doesn't come easy and I know a lot of girls our age would be so quick to jump to the first option they think of. I don't think you'll be a bad mother, largely because of that maturity. I would say that you should tell your family, you can't hide it for ever and hopefully they will be supportive of you with whatever you decide to do. Also with Uni, could you try talking to the faculty at your uni and working out whether you could defer for a few years? Like Shannon said, this isn't the end of your uni experience, you can always go back, and a lot of unis now offer support for young mums such as daycare etc. Financially raising a child isn't easy, but I'm sure you can do it as long as you're focused and keep good accounts. As long as you have the best interests of your child at heart I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mum. And there is no right or wrong answer, whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you and your child.

[Squiggly]

I don't think you are a bad mom. When something sudden like this happens it is often hard to get things figured out especially on your own. Telling your parent's about it soon would probably help you out and I am sure they will help you. It can be a big shock for parents but if they love you they will support you . Trying to figure out what to do and being worried show's that you are already a good mom.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

I don't think you'll be a bad mum. The fact that you're thinking it through so carefully and are worried about it means that you seem to be mature enough to be a good mum. Being single doesn't make you a bad mum, neither does not having much money or education. It will make things difficult, but not make you bad.

I would highly recommend telling your family soon. If you plan to go through with the pregnancy then they'll find out anyway so it will be better for them to hear it from you. You're a legal adult so they can't make you do anything. Hopefully they'll be able to offer you some support.

Whatever you decide, I'd also recommend going to a doctor if you haven't already. If you don't want to go through with the pregnancy you'll need to talk through your options with a professional, and the sooner the better. If you do, then you'll need to see a doctor so that you get the care that a pregnant woman and her unborn child need.

Good luck.