What if it WAS a choice?

Syzygy. · **What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 06:53 AM

So, I think most of the people who hang around this forum agree that being LGBT+ isn't a choice (and if you don't agree, this probably isn't the best thread for you to reply to

).

My question is this: what if it was a choice?

Assuming that all other things are the same (marriage laws, discrimination, etc), would you choose to be gay/bi/pan/straight/trans/whatever you are?
What about if everything really was equal (if there were equal rights and no discrimination) - would that change your answer?

Just something to think about. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Bibliophile · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 07:00 AM

Gay either way. Chicks not dicks.

The equal part, while it bothers me, doesn't change the fact I'd rather go for a girl.

LiveLongAndProsper · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 08:58 AM

I'm bi. Currently, I would choose to be straight. I've tried to be straight, and it never works, I like both genders.

If things were equal? I don't know. Does that include my family and my church? If it does then I'd choose bi. It's a part of me.

Skeleton · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 01:23 PM

Either way, I'd be gay. How I felt about girls and how I didn't feel about guys wouldn't change because I could pick what I was and equality and discrimination or not, it wouldn't stop me being with the person I wanted to be with, regardless of what gender they were and what other people thought.

Kumagoro · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 02:37 PM

I'm bi, and although I know I can't "pick a team", I sometimes wish I could. I don't know if it make things easier, but I guess it's all part of learning to accept yourself. Maybe I'll get used to it after a while.

If things were completely equal, I'd be much less wary of who I am and how I feel. But I think the most important thing is trying to accept yourself even if things aren't equal, even if other people don't approve. Equality will only happen if people keep going and don't back down.

Sexuality isn't a choice by any means, but I've always believed that if, hypothetically, it was, it still wouldn't do anyone any harm. The people who believe it's a choice should stop and ask themselves if it's seriously going to cause the apocalypse - because of course it's not. It doesn't hurt anyone.

TheCrowing · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 03:05 PM

When I think about level of attractiveness, I would definitely choose to like girls. Much better experiences for me. But, when I think about the level of oppression and the heteronormative attitude that I face often, I probably wouldn't choose it. I've faced a lot of negativity because of my sexuality, and although it has yet to bring me down, I would have never gone through that if I could have changed it. Otherwise, equality, no discrimination? Girls.

Jovial. · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 03:11 PM

Even if the laws were the same, and it were a choice. I would still choose to be gay. I don't feel anything towards guys. I can't stand the sight of a penis, and Erm. Frankly. I am scared of men.

If it were legal, well obviously. I would still choose gay. It would make life easier.

Nice Thread Chess.

Henry Tyrell · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 03:40 PM

Even if everything were the same, I would still want to be bisexual.

I would choose to be cisgendered though.

Stargazed. · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 04:15 PM

Yes, I would still choose to be gay despite the barriers that are currently up preventing marriage and the discrimination. I don't like men and that's not going to change even if the laws try to say otherwise.

Equal rights and no discrimination would be amazing. I would still choose to be gay. It would be amazing if there were equality in every aspect but that's another topic.

I'm proud of who I am (at least in this area) and I wouldn't change.

Fictional · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 04:51 PM

I'd choose to be straight if I could. It'd make being open with my friends about crushes so much easier, and there'd be no awkward 'coming out' conversations with new friends.

George^^ · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 27th 2012, 07:59 PM

For my sexuality, I doubt I would ever change that, I've always tacked on "But gender wouldn't matter if I loved them" when I said straight, finally having a word that fits that feeling is phenominal, besides, I don't feel like my sexuality is that big of a elephant in the room, I'm very comfortable stating it to anyone unless it's people in my school, and with that I have pride pictures taped on my personal binder.

For my gender identity, I would choose to be cis if I could. This does not mean that I do not like myself, but it's because my sexuality is acceptable, it does not fundamentally change my name, my gender, my social status, but being trans does. I am not the only person in my town who is pansexual, but I am the only person in my town that I know of that's trans. Also, my gender identity is still a big confusion to me, I want to be either or, but I never feel that way, I feel really in the middle but at the same time I want to be a guy but I don't ever feel like I fit that.

Cataclysmic · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 28th 2012, 12:25 AM

I guess I'd still choose to like girls because quite frankly, no offense to all you guys out there, but I find the penis really gross looking. And I like girls better anyway in the relationship sense.

If everything was equal I'd still choose to like girls.

musiclife.14 · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 28th 2012, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dez

I guess I'd still choose to like girls because quite frankly, no offense to all you guys out there, but I find the penis really gross looking. And I like girls better anyway in the relationship sense.

If everything was equal I'd still choose to like girls.

same i agree

FriendZoneMayor · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 28th 2012, 11:10 PM

This is a complicated question, because for myself to answer this, I have to look at my entire orientation, not just my sexual orientation. So I'll break it down in terms of being genderqueer, panromantic, and homosexual.
I believe that a person's a person, therefor I wouldn't choose to be anything other than genderqueer. I don't see myself as a male or female, genderwise (although I'm perfectly happy with my sex being female), but as a human. I wouldn't change that ever.
As far as being panromantic goes, I love the ability to create an emotional attatchment with anyone, regardless of gender identity. Even if there's no sexual attraction, I love being able to connect on a level that's more than skin-deep with others. It allows me to see through people's walls and create deep, long-lasting friendships.
Now comes my sexual orientation, which as I stated before, is homosexual. This question in itself is a conflict I have. On one hand, I REALLY love a woman's, I'm completely head-over-heels for my girlfriend, and our sexual chemistry (to this point, as we haven't actually "had sex" yet) is amazing. I've been sexually involved with men before, and while it can be fun, it's just not my thing. I've heard straight sex for someone who's asexual be described in a similar way as I view heterosexual sex in that it's like playing a board game. It can be fun, but it doesn't particularly excite them, and they can get sick of it after a while. That's how I feel about being sexual with men. Having said that, and knowing that I wouldn't want to be sexually attracted to male-identified and male-sexed people, my life WOULD be a lot easier if I were heterosexual. I still don't think I'd change my sexual orientation though.

notwhoithinkiam · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 29th 2012, 07:25 AM

I would remain as I am, I would be pansexual and....whatever the hell my gender ID is

bitesize · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 29th 2012, 10:46 AM

I'm bi and I dislike it.
I'm pretty sure I'd choose to be straight. Maybe gay. Either one, but I definitely wouldn't stay the same.

Syzygy. · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 29th 2012, 12:22 PM

A further question for those of who you have said you would be cisgendered: does that mean you'd choose to have a body that matches the gender you identify as (ie. FTM would choose to have a male body), or would you just choose to be comfortable identifying with the gender that matches the body you currently have (ie. FTM would choose to be able to happily identify as female)? Does that make any sense?

Henry Tyrell · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 29th 2012, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celestial.

A further question for those of who you have said you would be cisgendered: does that mean you'd choose to have a body that matches the gender you identify as (ie. FTM would choose to have a male body), or would you just choose to be comfortable identifying with the gender that matches the body you currently have (ie. FTM would choose to be able to happily identify as female)? Does that make any sense?

I would choose to be cisgendered to the body I already have, that is, to feel female in a female body.

Don'tForget · 06:37 PM

Im bi, but i like girls way more. so i would still choose to be bi despite the discrimination and marriage laws.
If there was equal rights i would probably be bi still.

better-than-ecstasy · R.I.P. Tatyana Sawka June 20, 1998- April 9, 2012

That's a tough one. Yes I'd still want to be bisexual to be open to newer people and be who I am. But if I chose that It be like picking to be bullied and I really don't want to do that, But i guess I'd have to say I pick to be me! If I wasn't born like this, then I might think differently. But Me is the answer!

will was here · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** April 29th 2012, 05:26 PM

I think that weither or not you are attracted to the same sex is part of who you are. i beliive it's detrumined by genes. but it can be to some extent a choice. for instance if you are sexually attracted to the same sex you can choose to be straight even thoguh you would just be lying to yourself. get me?

neversaynever17 · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 10th 2012, 10:44 PM

I think if it would a choice i'd pick straight, it would be easier feeling accepted and easier with friends and i wouldn't feel like i was being judged or anything xx

~Wallflower~ · 11:02 PM

Well, in Canada, the marriage laws and all are there for those who are gay/bi/etc so I guess bullying is an issue when choosing, but legislated discrimination is gone (though I am not saying it might not be there on some minuscule level). I guess you might have to find the "right" church, but that goes for a lot of people, like if you aren't a baptized Christian OR if you are an atheist-Christian, Jewish-Christian etc marriage, I guess 2 men or 2 woman (or even matters of race such as a black-white marriage) are just ones you can't hide when it comes to being discriminated again since you can't exactly walk into a Catholic church as 2 women and be like hey marry us and hope they won't notice the gender of those asking but you CAN fail to mention being an atheist or a Jew lol, unless they want to put you on a lie detector machine and grill you about your beliefs and you being a bad liar but I don't think priests make a habit of that, so I guess discrimination is there, like I know a lot of Christian churches wouldn't allow me to be married there for being a non-Christian.... Not really my point though so I should probably stop ranting....
Point is, I think if it was a choice and you could choose who to be attracted to, it would still come down to preference. Like I find guys like Hayden Christensen, Channing Tatum and Orlando Bloom sexy, aka the pretty boys. I think girls like Santana (from Glee) Natalie Portman and the girl who is Anne Boleyn in the Tudors hot too. I wouldn't change who I am attracted too.... But really, if you could "choose" that would imply all those who are straight choose to be straight as well, so it really wouldn't be one of those things where people would shun what others choose cause everyone would be like "yep time to choose" instead of being like "omg being straight is the "normal" thing and they are choosing to go against that oh the flippin horror"

George^^ · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 10th 2012, 11:36 PM

Quote:

A further question for those of who you have said you would be cisgendered: does that mean you'd choose to have a body that matches the gender you identify as (ie. FTM would choose to have a male body), or would you just choose to be comfortable identifying with the gender that matches the body you currently have (ie. FTM would choose to be able to happily identify as female)? Does that make any sense?

Never saw this until now... I would choose either way. To be a female and to feel like I fit my female body, to feel completely comfortable, sounds good - because I wouldn't have to go through the whole fight for myself nor would I feel like I live with a lie, nor would I feel like by being me I am disrespecting my culture because here there is woman and men roles and I don't seem to fit either. But at the same time, at this very moment, being an actual male, like a bio male, would be such a relief, but at the same time I wouldn't be the person I am today, I would probably be a jerk face loser who tokes - because that's what a majority of the guys in my town are. So I'm kind

Alto. · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 12:10 AM

I hate to say this, but I'd choose to be straight. A majority of my family is extremely Catholic and conservative, which typically, by default, means they're also homophobic. Just this morning my father was bashing the LGBT* community and I sat there biting my lip so I wouldn't scream or cry. I've come out to three of my four siblings and while two of them don't really get it, they do get it wasn't a choice.

I identify myself as pansexual, but more often than not I'm lesbian. Same-sex marriages are illegal here in Ohio as of today. While I want to see this place in my rear-view mirror, I know that I don't have much of a chance for that. I can't leave behind my family, no matter what they think of me.

If there was no discrimination, especially in my home-life, I probably would choose to stay the sexuality that I am.

Loving Linux Penguin · last updated on 4/14/12

If you'd asked me this a year and a half ago, I'd tell you that I'd want to be straight if I had a choice in the matter. But now that I've become comfortable with who I am and gotten used to it, I actually quite like being attracted to guys. This is who I am...and I wouldn't ever want to change that. Because the me that you would see if I changed it would not be the real me, it would be a fake.

Bella xx · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 12:46 AM

Either way I'd still be bi. It's apart of who I am that I couldn't just disregard if I had the choice

BDF · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 01:23 AM

If I could chose... I'd chose neither. Fucking mess that I could have done without from the start.

~Wallflower~ · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 02:55 AM

Quote:

A further question for those of who you have said you would be cisgendered: does that mean you'd choose to have a body that matches the gender you identify as (ie. FTM would choose to have a male body), or would you just choose to be comfortable identifying with the gender that matches the body you currently have (ie. FTM would choose to be able to happily identify as female)? Does that make any sense?

I didn't see this either until George brought it forth.
I dunno, there was a point where I thought I might like being a boy. I'd say I was only 12 or 13 at the time though. And over the years I HAVE thought I'd be better off being a boy, but never all that seriously as I have always thought of myself as being female. I just find it easier not following what I feel like are the social constructs of female-ness. Like I won't usually wear make up unless it is a special occasion and my style is just what ever, can be girly, can be tom boyish. I just do and dress as I please. Like I don't label sports and jobs for men or women (ex. hockey is for boys figure skating is for girls nursing is for girls policing is for boys... like I'd choose the more "male" dominated sport and job in both cases here, not that I actually play hockey nor am I a cop but that's soooo not my point).
So... I'd be a girl no matter what

Paint_It_Black · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 03:56 AM

i'm BI and i would choose to stay BI

<3 guys & girls best of both worlds :P

Roy-kun231 · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 03:16 PM

Huh, interesting topic. I think I would still choose to love both women and men. Trans, though... Mm, maybe.

.StarDust.♥ · Buddy since - 05/17/2012

I think I would totally choice to be exactly the same as I am now, I love my girlfriend and If things were a choice I would still be Lesbian <3

DanceCommander · **Re: What if it WAS a choice? -** May 11th 2012, 11:28 PM

I am who I am, and always will be.

That does not change because of what the world around me thinks or says or does. Time will pass and they will be gone, the wind will shift, things will change...but I will always be me. I will have to live with myself.

No matter what, I would never choose to give up being bisexual. Why? Because it would mean giving up the two women who I love most in the world. It would mean denying my thoughts for them, my affection for them, my care for them, my promises to them, my dedication to them, and my love for them. It would mean denying myself. And no matter what state the world is in, I will never let someone else determine who I can and cannot love.