Female Advice Preferred: So There's This Girl....

[ThatsSoWanky]

I know that you've all heard this story before, but I need your advice. This girl is/was one of my best friends. We'll call her A. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met. Anyway, I grew feelings for her slowly. We were friends in December and suddenly I realized that I had the biggest crush on her. We hung out all day in school, we texted a lot, and she plagued my thoughts. She florted back and I swear she had feelings for me too.

I was already out so that's not the problem. The initial problem was that she's straight. Well, she's never said otherwise so I just assume she's straight. We're in chorus together and she has the best voice ever. I like her so much that I didn't try out for a solo because I knew she would be so happy to have it. Anyway, I worked up the courage to tell her I like her and I'd already planned to tell her the following week of our chorus concert.

The current problem? Well, after our performance, i looked for her to congradulate her on her amazing performance. But i saw that she was with some other fiends so I left her alone. After I say down, a boy (let's call him B) had a solo and sang to her. I tried texting her about it because I was freaking out. Turns out, she was more freaked about this than I was. Shocker, right?

Anyway, the next day, she acted kind of distant. So instead of talking to her, I came clean to some of my friends. For the months before this, I'd lied to several of my friends about who I liked. I told them I liked R- a close friend of mine- so they wouldn't think that I liked A. I even told A that I liked R. After coming clean to them, they helped me find out what was going on with A. Apparently, B had asked A out that morning and that's why she was distant. In choir class, I sort of freaked out when A asked me what was bothering me. Long story short, our friendship wasn't exactly the same and I didn't end up telling her that I liked her.

So last month, I found out from a mutual friend that A began dating B, though she swore up and down that she had zero feelings for him during the school year. A was ignoring my texts since school ended, so I felt horrible. She's constantly on my mind. She's the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning. I feel betrayed, angry, and as if I was broken up with. Is it fair of me to feel those things? What's should I do?

[emilyjaynescott]

Hey,

It is completely fair for you to feel that way. It is an awful feeling when someone just drops you from their life, especially when they've been there constantly, flirting back with you.
It's possible that A was struggling with her feelings for you, it's also possible that she just loved you as a friend.
Is she still ignoring you? If she is, there really isnt a lot that you can do about it. It's her loss. You just have to try and move on, talk to your friends about it, distract yourself, and somewhere down the line it will stop hurting so much. trust me.
You can also try asking her straight out what changed, perhaps her boyfriend was uncomfortable by your close relationship etc. There are a million reasons for what could be happening but if you cant talk to her, or get through to her, you really are just best trying to distract yourself and move on. What she's done, is not fair to you. I know how bad it feels, I've been there too.

[LoudNoises]

It's completely fair for you to feel that way, I had a similar situation to that recently, it hurts like hell.
You could try talking to her, but as you said that's not working, the best you can do as emilyjaynescott said is to distract yourself from her and your feelings for her.
There's not much you can do, but talking about it and sharing your worries about it is most likely to make you feel better about it in the short term, it sounds like you've got some pretty great friends who'll listen well to you and in the long term hopefully you can get over her
Feel free to pm me if you'd like to

[musiclife.18]

well i think you should talk to the girl you like about how this whole thing is making you feel. if she's truly your friend she will understand and try and help you feel better. i think that talking to her privately will help her to realize what she has done is wrong even if you dont date her you can be friends atleast.