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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Question mixed emotions - May 6th 2013, 12:43 AM

hey my name is zoey and i am totally lost right now. im thinking i may be bi because it seems that every time i see an attractive girl i instantly get a crush and i honestly do think about kissing her alot. it started at the beggining of the year (im 13) and i thought it was just a phase but i swear the feelings get stronger. There is a girl who i just adore and i find her as the most sexy thing ever. i dont know what to do because my mom is totally homophoic. FUCK MY LIFE. im confused. please help
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Re: mixed emotions - May 6th 2013, 01:08 AM

You say you think you're bi because you keep crushing on attractive girls. Do you like boys as well? Bisexual is being attracted to both and you only mentioned girls.

Here is a link to the TH Queer Dictionary which includes a lot of different terms for sexuality. You can browse through these and see if maybe you see other ones that sound like you, or if the definition for bisexual fits. It's not totally comprehensive, but it might give you some idea.

As for your mother. You don't necessarily HAVE to tell her at this point, in fact, I would advise against it, as you said she was homophobic. Maybe talk to her a bit though, just figure out why she's that way without bringing up that you think you're bisexual. Is it a religious thing, or part of her upbringing, or something else?
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Re: mixed emotions - May 6th 2013, 01:13 AM

Hey there,

Katia is right that if you have crushes on both guys and girls, there is a chance that you are bisexual. But, don't feel too rushed to apply a label to yourself if you don't want to. People don't always fit neatly into one label box after all, and what matters more than assigning a certain label such as bisexual to yourself is finding someone you really like and pursuing them.

Time may help you determine what your label is. There's no set amount of time it takes for a person to determine what their sexuality is, and that's okay. Experimentation may help as well. If you find a guy you like, pursue him, and the same goes for a girl.

I'd wait to tell your mother about your sexuality until you are sure of it, and until a point where you would be safe to come out. For instance, if you don't feel as if you would be safe to stay at home after coming out, wait until you'd have somewhere else to go. You don't have to come out at a specific time, and you also don't have to tell every single person when you do.

Keep your head held high and stay strong, you can do this!


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