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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Homophobic parents worry me! - July 2nd 2013, 06:26 PM

My parents literally HATE everyone who is not straight. I'm bisexual, I tried to fight against it but I can't. I have a girlfriend now.
I don't mind not telling them about it. But what if they find out? What should I do than? I definitely won't be able to tell them in any way, I'm very scared.
What do I do if they ask me about it or if they find out? (finding out like they catch me kissing my girlfriend or something. )


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Re: Homophobic parents worry me! - July 2nd 2013, 06:42 PM

Hi there,

I think if they do find out the best thing you can do is be honest with them. It probably would be incredibly difficult to cover that up as something else, so you can just let them know that you're sorry for not telling them, but you know what their feelings are towards the LGBT+ community and you were afraid of how they would react if they knew that you were bisexual and had a girlfriend. In other words, let them know exactly why you didn't tell them in an honest but polite way. If they ask you about it but have no proof you can either deny it or try and find ways to drop the question such as removing yourself from the situation.

It may be a bit harder to see your girlfriend if they do find out but I'm sure you'd be able to come up with some ways if the situation ever comes up.

As far as kissing your girlfriend or things of that nature go, maybe you can try to keep it to a minimum if you are in a situation where they are likely to catch you. For instance, if she ever comes over your house you can give her a quick hello or goodbye kiss if your parents aren't looking, but find other ways to show your affection if it's likely they'll be able to catch you, then do the more affectionate things when you're in a safe area. If your friends know about the two of you you can let them know not to say anything about it around your parents, or if you have your parents on Facebook make sure your friends don't write about it on your wall.

Maybe you can even discuss some of this with your girlfriend and see if the two of you can come up with anything. For instance, the two of you can find some special things that the two of you can do to show your love around your parents but it won't be as suspicious, and maybe you both can also plan a few date nights where you two go out together. Your parents would think of them as two best friends having fun, where in reality you'd be going on a date like dinner and/or a movie, bowling, or even just sleeping over her house.

It's really amazing that you aren't going to let them hold you back from being with the girl you love though. You deserve happiness.

-Dez


   
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Re: Homophobic parents worry me! - July 2nd 2013, 07:12 PM

Thank you so much for your advice!

I always make sure they can't catch us while doing something but I'm still a bit nervous.
The idea about showing affection in a not suspicious way was really good, we use to give those "I love you" looks to each other but sometimes I felt like it can be readable.
I don't know where would be safe to go out and kiss freely, because we live in an area where are many people who only live for judging and bullying other people. Its hard to get to a place where no one goes to/judges us.
But we plan things out and try make it safe. I will worry less about my parents now
Thank you again!


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