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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Question I can't decide.. - May 3rd 2014, 09:42 PM

Hi. Let me make it clear that I belong to a fairly conservative country when it comes to sexuality even though a lot of progress has been made in recent times so I am not well verse with different sexualities as of yet. This question might strike you as silly or downright childish but I had a thought, so..

My question is: Is it wrong to try and decide your sexuality before having any kind of sexual?romantic experience? Because I'm eighteen and haven't ever: been in any relationship, kissed and you get the point, right?

I've always thought of myself as straight except for that occasional girl crush on celebs or people I just see and find attractive. It's never been serious.

Am I rushing my decision? Should I just wait it out to change my tag from 'Undecided' to something else?


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Re: I can't decide.. - May 4th 2014, 12:14 AM

In my personal opinion, it's not wrong at all. Many people tend to determine their sexuality without having any same-sex contact. Some find it easier to determine their sexuality whilst others can struggle for a long time since people often tend to have 3 sexuality labels, "Gay", "Bisexual" and "Straight", however there are so many different sexualities and different labels than people may realise. Here's a link to the Queer Dictionary: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f8-lg...er-dictionary/ you may see something that fits you, you may not. If you feel you need to explore things further, you don't have to put a label on yourself until you feel ready.

Some people can be completely straight and still have the odd feeling here and there for the same sex, it doesn't make them any less straight.


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Re: I can't decide.. - May 4th 2014, 12:39 AM

One, I want to say that it's not bad that you haven't been in any relationship at eighteen (I don't know if you are ashamed of that, but no shame if you are). I will be eighteen in exactly a month and I still haven't either.

I don't think that it's wrong though. It is all up to what you personally prefer. If you change your mind and decide to enter a relationship while you are still not sure, that is okay. But, if you would rather wait it out a little bit and see if things become clearer for you, that is okay too. Everyone goes through this experience differently after all, so there's no right or wrong!

Remember that you don't have to rush, though. It WILL become clearer for you one day, but go with the flow. If you ever do want to date, do that, but if not, that's fine. Go with where your heart and gut take you, it won't steer you wrong.

I also want to point out that you should go with whatever label you feel the most comfortable with when you do decide it, regardless of what that is or how you define it. Not everyone fits into this neat little box when it comes to something as broad as sexual orientation. You don't even have to label if you don't want to!

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Re: I can't decide.. - May 4th 2014, 07:57 PM

With things like that, it's really whatever you want and feel comfortable with. If it'd make you feel good to decide what sexuality to call yourself, cool. You can always change it again in the future. Lots of people determine their sexuality early in life, and some also change their determination, and it often doesn't have anything to do with a romantic encounter.

Basically, what I'm saying, and what I think the people who responded before me are also saying is, whatever floats your boat


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Re: I can't decide.. - May 8th 2014, 04:08 AM

Thanks, everyone. You guys were very helpful. I visited the TH's Queer dictionary.. I think I'll wait it out a bit before I put a name to it. Right now, I'm okay with being as I am. Also, I'm not ashamed to have not been in any relationship at 18. Infact, I'm a little proud (??) of it because it's not something that my parents would be very ecstatic about and also studies have always been waaaay too imp for me to put time anywhere else. But now that I'm outta school, well, maybe.


"I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions"
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On my way to accepting my flaws and celebrating my good intentions.
   
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