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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 15th 2014, 10:13 PM

My dad has always been bisexual and it was never a problem. Because he never has anyone living at home longer than a month and when he has both times besides my mother were women. So when my friends hung out at my place they just thought my dad had a weird taste in style but was overall just "normal". I never got made fun of for having a non-heterosexual father. At my school I know two kids who get made fun of for having same sex parents. I don't want it to come out for the fact that one of my friends is really religious and so is her family. She isn't mean she's just really unfamiliar with lgbt people. And would be horrified to find out and we'd no longer be friends and would be in turn be rejected from most of my friends and my brother would probably get it worst. Anyhow 2 months ago my dad and I moved in with his male lover. I didn't tell anyone that I had moved until my friend came over unexpected and found that I had moved. All my friends want to see the new place I'm at and I have no real excuse to give besides the fact that I don't want them to find out that my dad is in a same sex relationship. We're supposed to have a sleepover next weekend at my place I need an excuse to call things off. I can't handle this I didn't grow up in an environment where I'm ready if people were to know about that part of my family life. Advice?

Last edited by Amber16; August 16th 2014 at 03:15 PM.
   
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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 16th 2014, 12:27 AM

Hey,

I don't think hiding your dad's sexuality is going to do you any good. I think being honest with your friends is what's best. If they're true friends, they'll support both you and your dad, and they will not care whether he is in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship. If they can't handle it, then maybe just have your "hang outs" at their place or in a public place. I really don't see why they'd make a big deal of it though. If you really don't feel ready to tell them, then just tell them that it's a male friend that you and your dad moved in with, and proceed with the sleepover.

Good luck.


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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 16th 2014, 03:37 AM

Hey there,

I agree that hiding your dad's sexuality isn't going to do you any good. I know this is kind of hard to deal with but in the end your true friends are not going to care. I was in a similar situation to you and it was hard confiding in one of my friends about my dad's sexuality but one night I just came out with it and told her. She was understanding and didn't judge me based on my dad's sexuality. She had gotten to know me and in the end that is all that really mattered. The fact is that friendships should be based on a lot more then who your family is and stuff like that. If your friends aren't comfortable with your dad's sexual orientation you can have sleepovers at other people's house or something like that.

Hopefully this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.



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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 16th 2014, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Labyrinth. View Post
Hey,

I don't think hiding your dad's sexuality is going to do you any good. I think being honest with your friends is what's best. If they're true friends, they'll support both you and your dad, and they will not care whether he is in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship. If they can't handle it, then maybe just have your "hang outs" at their place or in a public place. I really don't see why they'd make a big deal of it though. If you really don't feel ready to tell them, then just tell them that it's a male friend that you and your dad moved in with, and proceed with the sleepover.

Good luck.
I have a friend that knows and doesn't mind. But she's known me for 4 years and she used to live with me at home. So she's like family. She's my closest friend. I don't feel that close to many of my friends I like them a lot but I for one don't think they would be accepting and think I was weird and not want to be friends with me.

I was thinking about saying that he's just a friend that is staying over for a few days. I'm just not sure like what if someone realizes that they actually share rooms. Or wonder how my dad got a place like this he's not that well off.
   
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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 16th 2014, 08:17 AM

Hey there,

I agree with the others, hiding your dad's sexuality isn't going to do any good. If your friends are true friends they may not understand your dad and his lifestyle, but it really doesn't have anything to do with them. You've never told them anything so you can't be sure how they're going to react. You never know your friends may surprise you.

Paige


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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 18th 2014, 09:24 AM

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Originally Posted by .:BreakingBeautifully:. View Post
Hey there,

I agree that hiding your dad's sexuality isn't going to do you any good. I know this is kind of hard to deal with but in the end your true friends are not going to care. I was in a similar situation to you and it was hard confiding in one of my friends about my dad's sexuality but one night I just came out with it and told her. She was understanding and didn't judge me based on my dad's sexuality. She had gotten to know me and in the end that is all that really mattered. The fact is that friendships should be based on a lot more then who your family is and stuff like that. If your friends aren't comfortable with your dad's sexual orientation you can have sleepovers at other people's house or something like that.

Hopefully this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.
Yeah that's how my friend is but I feel it's easier to tell her we lived together and she's like an older sister to me so I can tell a lot of stuff I wouldn't tell a random kid at school really.
   
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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 21st 2014, 12:01 AM

Hiding your dad's sexuality is sorta' pointless at this point, do you want to even hang out with people that would make fun of you because of one of your family members?? If they are true friends that are worth keeping, than they will NOT laugh and just support you both.


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Re: Hiding my dad's sexuality? Need help pls? What to tell friends? - August 21st 2014, 08:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxpaigiexx View Post
Hey there,

I agree with the others, hiding your dad's sexuality isn't going to do any good. If your friends are true friends they may not understand your dad and his lifestyle, but it really doesn't have anything to do with them. You've never told them anything so you can't be sure how they're going to react. You never know your friends may surprise you.

Paige
I haven't, because I see how they treat others who have same sex parents. I know my situation isn't as extreme as that, but i don't think they'd respond well to my dad having a live in boyfriend because of some of the negative stuff said concerning others in a similar situation.
   
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