Dating as an LGBT+ teenager.

[Lilyofthewest]

(Was unsure if this was best suited to LGBT+ or relationships/dating, move if needs be.)

What I've found to be one of the most isolating things as a queer teenager is that it seems near impossible to meet people I could potentially date. I'm eighteen, still in secondary school but leaving soon, living in a fairly small city where social mobility is little to none, meaning I'll probably be stuck here for another few years at least. I've only talked to a handful of other openly queer people offline. There are no real gay centres or anything in my town, because LGBT+ people here tend to fall into either of two extremes, a) they're so far into the closet they've discovered Narnia or b) they're very well integrated into the general population, so much so that they can socialise without needing an exclusively LGBT+ area.

Any tips on how to meet people? I've never been not single and to tell the truth I'm bored, most of my friends are getting into relationships and I really want to, you know, live more. I know there's the likes of Tinder and whatnot, but I would prefer to try offline first, if that's possible. Note that I'm not out to my family yet and I still live with my rather controlling parents, which can restrict me.

[Ennui.]

Well, one option you have is online dating. You may be able to meet a wider variety of people that way.

You said there is no social mobility. Are you talking about transportation? Are you sure there aren't any buses or other things that may be able to take you to slightly larger towns where you can meet more people?

[Lilyofthewest]

Lol sorry what I meant by the lack of social mobility was that people tend to remain trapped in their place within social strata by the status quo. That means the likelihood is that I'll have to remain living here for a long time. There's very little room for people to look beyond conservative expectations of how their lives should be, hence being LGBT+ in the first place is something that's way out there for most people. That's essentially the nature of the country I live in as a whole, I mean, while my hometown is fairly small by international standards it's one of the largest cities in the country and the largest town in the region by a long shot.

It looks like online dating or Grindr could be the only option because most other queer people around here are in hiding and online is probably the best way to find them.

[Hiraeth]

Yeah, I've met all of my partners online and that's what worked well for me. I actually don't think I could do offline dating, given the kind of person I am. (Very socially awkward, etc.)

Just keep in mind that being single isn't in any way a failure on your part... it might seem like everyone around you has someone and you're the odd one out, but I've found that for the most part it will appear that way because partnered people talk about their partners whereas single people don't always talk about their singleness as a routine presence in their daily life.