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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Heathen Offline
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I'm coming out to my family as trans - September 14th 2020, 10:12 PM

I'm trans (non-binary) and I've been socially and medically transitioning for about two months now. It's going REALLY well. I have lots of social support from my therapist and my friends, and, of course, the clinic prescribing my hormones. This past weekend I came out to my sister. I was hesitant to come out to her. I was pretty sure she would be open and accepting, but I held on to the letter in which I told her what was happening with me for a month. I'm really glad it went well. It's good to know someone in my family understands.

Because I've been on T for a while and noticeable changes will be happening soon, she advised I tell my parents soon, maybe by the end of this week. I went ahead and wrote a letter to them and I'm waiting to send it until my sister proofreads it and I feel comfortable. My sister confirmed my feeling that my parents are probably going to struggle with this. They're going to ask questions out of a place of caring and love but those questions might seem hurtful or invalidating. She also said this is probably an ongoing conversation and won't be resolved quickly. It's going to take time.

I just want to see if y'all have any advice on coming out when you know your audience isn't going to be very receptive. What do you say to make it easier for them, to explain your choices/reasoning, and deal with anxiety and anger? If you're given an ultimatum (like "stop taking hormones or we aren't going to support you anymore") how do you handle that? I am very scared my parents are going to ask me to stop taking hormones or else they'll withdraw financial support and I can't make it on my own. I don't want to lose their emotional support, either; I love my parents very much and that would hurt deeply. So how do I go about doing this?



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Re: I'm coming out to my family as trans - September 16th 2020, 10:06 PM

Hello, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sometimes when we have to tell others something about ourselves we are not sure how to tell them because they may not understand or they do not believe in it and I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with this. Would you be able to try writing a letter to them and put everything in it and then give it to them or put it in a spot that they will see it. For example on the bed in the bedroom or the dining table or another place for them to see it. You can have someone with you like another family member who knows this about you or a friend to help you out. Or I have this article on coming out and it talks about doing this with your parents, maybe it can help you some. It is, https://www.plannedparenthood.org/le...ming-out-trans No matter what happens, you are a lovely person inside and out, don't forget that. I hope that you will be okay soon and they will see the lovely person that we do. Hugs to help you.


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