TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity This forum is for you to explore your sexuality and identity, whatever that may be.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Soda_Voxel Offline
Doing my best
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Soda_Voxel's Avatar
 
Name: Please call me Soda.
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/her
Location: England

Posts: 580
Points: 12,626, Level: 16
Points: 12,626, Level: 16 Points: 12,626, Level: 16 Points: 12,626, Level: 16
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: December 24th 2020

Unhappy I'm so stressed out - March 14th 2021, 08:58 PM

I wish I had a label for myself, yet at the same time, I hate labels. It's so confusing.

For reference, I am a cis female and for the most part consider myself straight. However, in the past year or so, I have started to like some nonbinary people, and to make matters worse, I have fallen for my best friend who is also nonbinary. And I mean, this is the biggest crush I've ever had, I can imagine my entire life with them.

I like men a lot, I have lots of crushes on lots of men, I'm pretty straight. But there's these huge glaring exceptions so it doesn't feel right or appropriate to call myself straight, but what label am I supposed to use? Bisexual does not feel right at all to me, even if I know that bisexuality can be an umbrella, it does not seem to suit me. I want to be straight, I just want everything to be straightforward (pun unintended) and easy to describe and not have to use specific labels for everything. Yet at the same time, I need to know what I am.

I don't know what I want. I hate myself for feeling this way. You know, sometimes, I wish I was aro-ace, because love and all those kind of feelings can be so stressful and overwhelming.

I don't understand myself anymore.


It's enough to live a live with love until we die
Autism, Depression, Anxiety
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/They
Location: London

Posts: 4,530
Points: 74,574, Level: 39
Points: 74,574, Level: 39 Points: 74,574, Level: 39 Points: 74,574, Level: 39
Blog Entries: 789
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: I'm so stressed out - March 14th 2021, 09:31 PM

Hey

I completely understand the confusion you're going through and it must be really difficult not knowing how best to describe yourself. You're right in that labels are confusing, but sometimes they're really useful in putting into words how we feel. That can be very affirming.

I did a quick google search and came across the word "heteroflexible", which essentially means someone is heterosexual, but may occasionally experience feelings and attractions to genders other than the opposite. I do not know that much about the label, but I guess it makes sense that it could include non-binary people as well as any and all other genders.

I definitely think it's okay to experiment with different labels and see which one you feel fits you best though. This was based off of a very quick google search, so there are likely other words out there too.

It's okay to not entirely understand yourself. You're 16, and there's a good chance many other people your age (maybe even people you know or have met) are questioning their sexualities too. It's normal, and it's hard, and that's okay.

I hope this has helped a bit. Feel free to message me if you want to talk at all.


"Why want another universe if this one has dogs?"

Matt Haig - The Midnight Library

Volunteer Support Officer | Apply to staff
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Allyson Wood Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Allyson Wood's Avatar
 

Posts: 132
Points: 5,350, Level: 10
Points: 5,350, Level: 10 Points: 5,350, Level: 10 Points: 5,350, Level: 10
Join Date: September 27th 2016

Re: I'm so stressed out - March 15th 2021, 07:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soda_Voxel View Post
I wish I had a label for myself, yet at the same time, I hate labels. It's so confusing.

For reference, I am a cis female and for the most part consider myself straight. However, in the past year or so, I have started to like some nonbinary people, and to make matters worse, I have fallen for my best friend who is also nonbinary. And I mean, this is the biggest crush I've ever had, I can imagine my entire life with them.

I like men a lot, I have lots of crushes on lots of men, I'm pretty straight. But there's these huge glaring exceptions so it doesn't feel right or appropriate to call myself straight, but what label am I supposed to use? Bisexual does not feel right at all to me, even if I know that bisexuality can be an umbrella, it does not seem to suit me. I want to be straight, I just want everything to be straightforward (pun unintended) and easy to describe and not have to use specific labels for everything. Yet at the same time, I need to know what I am.

I don't know what I want. I hate myself for feeling this way. You know, sometimes, I wish I was aro-ace, because love and all those kind of feelings can be so stressful and overwhelming.

I don't understand myself anymore.
To my belief, you are experiencing an identity crisis.
Look inward and explore. Take some time out to really look within yourself and ask yourself some questions about what you like and don't like anymore.
Search for joy and other ways to cope. What makes you happy?
Find support
Ignore internal and external judgment.
Reconnect with Yourself.
Incorporating a mindfulness practice goes far beyond our own identity. There are so many ways to reconnect with yourself, to stay present, focused, and resilient.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
popinin Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
popinin's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 12
Points: 528, Level: 3
Points: 528, Level: 3 Points: 528, Level: 3 Points: 528, Level: 3
Join Date: June 21st 2022

Re: I'm so stressed out - August 19th 2022, 02:53 PM

That's your latent side talking. I like girls sexually too, but probably because they don't like me, I sometimes have thoughts of having sex with guys.
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
questioning, questioning sexuality, sexuality, stressed, stressed out, unsure

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Rob
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.