needing help with coming out of the closet.

[drizzt]

iam seventeen. i have benn bi since i was 14. i have been afraid to come ou of the closet. i have been screwing up, getting in alot of trouble. iam of and on restriction. ive been doing this because it is my way as a safty net. i figured that my freinds couldint find out if i cant hang out with them. now i want to come out and i dont know how. any help?

[phil314159]

For me I did it gradually. I first told my best friend, who of course was very supportive and expected it lol. Then from there with support I told one more person, then one more till my support base was huge and it gets easier to say it every time . Eventually I just became open about it. Telling your parents is much harder, but also much easier with dozens of friends to support you . And you'll probably be surprised just how supportive your parents really are.

[CageCardinal]

I agree with phil. It was difficult but honestly, you just gotta come out and do it. No one said you had to do it today right now, but you seem truly ready to reveal the truth, so I say go for it! Be honest and true to yourself. But take it very gradually and first come out to people you can really TRUST. Test the waters and just go slow, and once enough people are in the know, it WILL get easier. I'm partially out. My father knows and a few of my friends know. I still have some work to do...but as I said, i'm going about it slowly and gradually.

Good luck!!

[Rudnet]

Hi there.

I know it's a tough decision that you are making so I'd just say that you should take your time with it. Like phil said, you should do it gradually. Like first start with your friends. When you have enough support you should tell your family. It always goes easier like this.

Whatever you ultimately decide to do, best of luck with that.

[LittleMsFOB]

Hi,
You want to tell people who care about you and people you trust first. I'd talk to a close friend, maybe mention gay marriage, something LGBT related to see how they react. Then you'd know if they are supportive of gay people in general, so they'd be more supportive of you. And then, find a time when it's just the two of you, preferably in person, and just...say it. It's a bit scary at first, but it gets easier with time and practice. I've come out to most of my close friends and they've all been fine, even my very religious friend, whose family doesn't approve of bisexuality. Basically, your real friends will still care about you, no matter your sexuality. Good luck with everything, PM me any time

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

I agree with what everyone else has said; I think that coming out gradually is the best thing to do. When you come out gradually you do not have the added pressure of having to tell a whole group of people instead you can tell one person at a time and I know from experience that is a lot easier.

One thing that might help you as well is joining a youth support group. I know, depending on the person, that support groups can be really helpful when it comes to dealing with this type of thing. It really can help to meet people who are struggling with some of the same things you are or meet people who were able to come out to their loved ones.

If you are interested in joining a support group there are a few ways that you could find one.

The first way is by using google. All you have to do is type in something alone the lines of "GLBTQ youth support groups in ____" and go from there.

Another thing you can do is click on this website (http://www.glbtnearme.org/). It is a link to an area where you can type in your address and find a support group or a hotline in your area (I do believe that this is mainly for people in the USA but I could be wrong). This website helped me find a support group in my area so best of luck if you use it.

The last thing you could try is calling a hotline and asking them if they know of a support group in your area or if they know of a website where you can find a support group in your area. I am pretty sure that they should be able to help you figure it out.

Here is a like to some hotlines (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/). The USA has a GLBT hotline that you can call specifically whereas the other places have a general youth support line that would be your best bet.

Please hang in there and best of luck,

Jenna

[Sugar]

It's a scary position to be in, but i think you should pluck up the courage and come out of the closet because it will make things a lot better. Everyone who is truly your friend, and your family should stick by you no matter what if it makes you happy. I say go for it.