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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 12:24 PM

So I am like 99.99% that I am a lesbian like guys don't turn me on at all plus there down stairs member disgusts me but the thing is I still want to have sex with a guy just to lose my virginity is this normal?? I know you can lose it with a girl but idk I just need to know if this is a normal thought or if I have to rethink my sexuality. So whatcha think?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 06:33 PM

Does anyone know?


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 06:37 PM

you can still be lesbian and have sex with the odd guy, you are who you want to be, not who other people tell you to be x


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 09:51 PM

I guess its just confussing because I really don't want to have sex with a guy i guess but then I want to loose my virginity so I have no clue so confused.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 09:57 PM

If there isn't a guy that you're attracted to in a sexual way and feel comfortable having sex with, then don't feel like you have to in order to "lose your virginity"! It differs so much from individual to individual who you're attracted to, and you can still "lose your virginity" with a woman, as you say... There's absolutely nothing wrong with your thoughts, don't worry . PM me if you want.
   
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 12th 2009, 10:48 PM

Nothing says virginity can only be lost through sex between a guy and a girl. If you want to lose your virginity, you can do that with a girl.

Just don't feel like you need to do something you're not comfortable with like this for any reason. No one will think any less of you for being a virgin, they don't even have to know how you lost it if you don't tell them, right? Just do what feels comfortable to you. If that is sex with a guy, then go for it. But if you're not comfortable with that, it's okay.

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 13th 2009, 12:03 AM

Thanks you guys yeah I probley won't because not comfortable about the thought of it eather even though I think about it IDK.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 13th 2009, 12:30 AM

Am I too late to comment this?? well okay I don't have any "deep" advice that will answer you question BUT
I can speak from experience. I lost mine to a girl and it was in my opinion the same as if I had been with a guy. Only more emotional and loving (no offense guys.>! mwah!) So I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. PM me if u need to talk!

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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 12:58 AM

My best friend is a lesbian, or at least I thought she was for a long time, but recently she told me she's planning on losing her virginity to one of her guy friends. I couldn't believe it. I guess she only wants to have sex with a guy. She's not doing it just to lose her virginity, but she doesn't want anything to do with men besides sex. She loves women, and would want a relationship with a woman before a man, but she told me she'd have sex with a guy. I really don't recommend having sex with a guy just to lose your virginity. You definitely can do that with a girl, and if you're not going to enjoy the experience, why do it? That's my advice.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 05:36 AM

You shouldn't lose your virginity to a random person whether male or female.
   
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 05:37 AM

so many people that are lesbian and such thing that they can't loose their virginity to a girl. I am a virgin still and i plan on loosing mine to my girlfriend/fiance. I don't think you HAVE to have sex with a guy just to loose it.

Yet, i don't really know you. If its something you want to do, then really feel free.




   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 05:54 AM

Like I said in my first post I know you can lose it with a girl...I was just wondering...what people thought. And the more I think about it I don't wanna have sex with guys at all.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 12:50 PM

Dont label yourself. You are who you are.. simple as. you can be 80% lesbian one day, 20% the next. When you start to label yourself one thing or another it just confuses your mind further. Just experiment. or as the saying goes, 'fall for someone for who they are, not what's down their pants'.
lol.




   
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 17th 2009, 09:23 PM

First off, to the OP, labels are used broadly. But essentially, everyone with that label is unique from the next person with that label. We use labels that we feel comfortable with. I know a gay man that sometimes does have sex with women, he still very much considers himself gay, and its right to. Labels should never be a restricting be all and end all. However, if you want to have sex with a guy, because you feel thats the only way to lose your viriginity, you are lacking sexual desire for men, and therefore, there's not even really an issue. On the other hand, it's a bad bad idea to have sex with someone for that reason, and the chances are you will not enjoy it, and that you will regret it. Virginity is a state of mind, you don't need to have intercourse with a man to lose it. Don't buy into such a illogical concept, popular as it may be. To be a virgin is to have sexual purity, and you really do generally lose that from having any form of sex, even without intercourse (and I'd put that on the straight people as well). I mean if penetration is that big a deal for you, get a female partner to use a strap on, apologies for being crass, but its the same experience basically.

As for the poster above me, in our current world, labels can be important, particularly for many people, admittedly not for all. It's also important as a reaction to the straight assumption, and such like. We have not reached the point that labels are entirely not required for anyone. Not to mention, some people really need labels in the process of acceptance, community, and such forth. I mean even the labels of pan, omni and queer, which are almost critiques of the restricting nature of previous labels show a desire to have a label.
   
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 19th 2009, 08:12 PM

If you want a comment from a guy about this: I have a friend in your position, we've known each other for a long time. She was a "guy virgin" and felt like she just needed the experience to be completely sure of who she was and for the experience, so I understand how you feel about it. I was extremely complimented that she asked me (what guy wouldn't be) and she says it was a good experience for her even though she says she will always consider herself lesbian. But I think if you don't have that experience with someone you know, like, and trust that it won't be a good experience. If it's just out of curiosity, I don't think it's a good idea.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 20th 2009, 11:43 PM

there are other ways to lose virginity, I started out with only women, men disturbed me when i was a kid but i slept with women and used dildos or vibrators it loses virginity just the same and your partner can be the one to do it for you or help anyway.
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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 21st 2009, 12:26 AM

Can a moderater Please close this thread.

I've already said that I got my anwser and I KNOW you CAN lose your VIRGINITY to a GIRL!

So please close thanks


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 21st 2009, 01:25 AM

If a lesbian hasn't had sex with a guy, I still consider her a virgin. I don't think there is anyway that a lesbian can lose her virginity to a girl, but that's just me.


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Re: Lesbian but having sex with a guy? - November 21st 2009, 01:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by daina_aka_buffy_1989 View Post
there are other ways to lose virginity, I started out with only women, men disturbed me when i was a kid but i slept with women and used dildos or vibrators it loses virginity just the same and your partner can be the one to do it for you or help anyway.
I don't believe that. Because according to that, I probably lost my virginity at a very young age, maybe thirteen or younger. That's not real sex. It resembles sex.


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