I feel guilty for fancying boys more than girls,because I'm bi & it's not what people expect of me..

[bitesize]

I fancy boys and girls (and have been 'out' for almost two years) which means that I technically identify as 'bisexual'. However, 'bisexual' implies that I like girls and guys both equally, which I don't. I tend to fancy boys more ~ for some reason I 'm more picky or there's some self-defense mechanism in me which lets me fall for girls less often.

This has been getting me down a lot recently. There's soooo much discrimination towards bisexuals, ESPECIALLY young bisexual girls (and around Dublin as well.) People seem to think that most of them only imagine that they are bi or that they are doing it to get attention from guys. I've definitely had the implication from some people that I am doing this too, especially because I come across as a fairly feminine girl.

I know I shouldn't let it, but it's really started to get to me and I feel crap and I'm worrying that people think I'm fake. I've become really really shy about coming out to new people because I presume that they'll think I'm just doing it for attention. Now I feel really guilty for fancying guys. Which is stupid I know. But I feel like people won't take me seriously until I have a serious relationship with a girl. I got into a long-term relationship with a boy a few months after I came out, and i've only been sinlge a few months since, and have been dating guys. Not that I havent been looking for girls...it just happens that the people I've ended up with have been guys.

It's even made me requestion my sexuality... which was annoying because it took me so long to admit to myself that I liked girls in the first place. I've had some really worrying thoughts that maybe I've somehow convinced my brain into fancying girls because maybe I do want attention.....even though I KNOW that I can like girls...and it's not some kind of teenage phase.

Urgh....sorry for the length of this....and the fact that it probably made no sense...it's just been really depressing me recently..so if anyone has any advice I'd really, really appreciate it.

[DanielR]

I would have to say, that bisexuals go through this type of questioning a lot. It's quiet normal, to say the least.
Just because you fancy one more than the other, doesn't make anything different. If you get those moments/days where all you can think about is women... you are bi. It's only when the complete idea of the same sex COMPLETELY TURNING YOU OFF (I.E, you are suddenly disgusted by the idea of liking the same sex) that your sexuality should be questioned.
I'll leave you to ponder that.

[Magic.]

Urgh I have this pretty much. I've thought about it a lot and sort of come to the conclusion that I tend to fancy people who I have a chance with ... and there aren't many openly gay/bi girls around where I live, not ones that aren't doing it for attention as you said there are a lot. So yeah, I think I'd fancy a lot more girls if I met more bi/gay girls. May be the same for you, I don't know, but something to explain it maybe

[bitesize]

Wow, both of your posts made me actually feel a lot better....and yes Bryden, I think I'm the same!! That makes sense.
Thanks so much guys, really (:

[Melody Pond]

I just wanted to let you know my boyfriend is bi but he likes girls more than boys.
It is an inside joke of ours that he is 1/3 rd gay and 2/3rds straight

You are not alone in thinking this way, nearly all the bisexuals I know prefer one sex more than another.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

I think this is what makes being Bisexual hard to deal with. People have an expectation that Bi people should like both equally and on and on. But, I don't think that is necessarily true.

I identify as bi but I like boys more. In this support group I am in there is a girl that is bi but likes girls more. And, there is this guy I know that is Bi but likes girls more.

I think it is natural to feel more attracted to one sex than the other sometimes. I know there are Bisexuals out there who are 50/50 and that is great but I know there are a lot of people that have a stronger attraction to one sex over the other.

Something I have heard gay people say is they have difficulties with dating Bisexuals because they know that most of them favor one sex over another.

And, to be honest, this is the problem I have with identifying as bi. Because, I know that I want guys more than girls and a part of me thinks if that is the case than I can deny the attraction I have towards girls and blah blah blah.

But, I have slowly come to the realization that I can't deny that part of me and my happiness is more important than others judgment of me. See, no matter what you do there are going to be people who are going to judge you. And, if you worry about their judgment you are going to miss out on a lot of things in life.

So, be you. You are attracted to both and that is fine. Maybe you have a stronger attraction to guys or maybe you have not met the right girl. It doesn't really matter because you are doing what makes you happy and in the end your happiness is all that matters.

Sorry for the long post and I hope it makes sense.

Best of luck,

Jenna

[Pine]

I completely feel you. Like, I'm the exact same way.

I fell in love with my girlfriend, but I'm very rarely attracted to girls physically. Once and awhile I feel a bit..different towards them, but usually I find guys very attractive. xD; But I've never been with a guy, and most guys I know I'd NEVER want to go out with. So maybe I'm attracted to guys physically and girls emotionally? I don't know really.

Best of luck. <3

[bitesize]

Thanks guys