Triggering (Suicide): I want to become a guy, but I can't.

[Abstract]

My parents have been going through this divorce for years, and i've been switching between parents. I always knew I wanted to become a guy at heart, but I never thought of telling anybody about that. My mom is very accepting, and my dad is not so much. Recently I left my mom and she told me i could never change my mind about moving back, and I said okay, thinking I was sure about that. But now I'm not, I'm stuck with my dad who isn't very accepting and I can't say "Dad I want to go through a transition", I can't say that to him.
Mymomwould only accept that,and she won't letme live with her anymore. And it hurts when she tells me she's going to move away and start a new life for herself, without me. And I DO want a new life,I need one,or I really am going to kill myself. I'm a lesbian, and I know, I need to become a guy to be happy.
I'm meeting with my mom tomorrow, what do you think I should say?

[DarkSeph]

If your mother is very accepting, it's quite possible she will let you change your mind. After all, she is your mother, I'm sure she cares about you, and I doubt she'd be happy about never seeing you again. It's very possible what she said about not being able to change your mind about moving back was to scare you into re-thinking. Or because she was upset about losing you. Talking about having a new life without you also sounds like she's upset and trying to accept and move on. I'd try and make things up with her and explain, there's still plenty of chance to sort things out.

[RelFf]

I don't know what you should do because only you do deep down but I just want to say you have courage where I do not, I don't think I'll will ever tell my family unless i actually make the transition, because at this point I am comfortable with still being female. Though I imagine that when I become sexually active that will change but... Oh well.
Sorry, I got off tract. Again, only you know what you should and I applaud you for being open and out with her.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Well, have you tried talking to her about how you are feeling suicidal? She may have said it out of hurt and she may welcome you back if you ask.