I made a really stupid mistake and now i feel violated/devastated. Please help?

[joe4life]

right now, i'm 14 year old boy. I found out i was gay back when i was 12. I never had any friends (and i still don't right now) I was really curious about sex and i wanted to try it out. I didn't know any gay guys at my school and i didn't even have any friends at all to talk to, so when i was 12 years old i started going into gay chat rooms. I wanted to find someone to experiment with, but i couldn't find anyone in my age range so i started talking to adults online when i was 13. Soon i made a really stupid mistake. In june 2010 i tried looking for men to met up with on a social networking site. All the young men turned me down because i was too young for them, except for one guy who was 46 years old. He asked me to met him and i said yes. It know it was a really dumb mistake but i was curious and he was the only guy who wanted to meet me. When i met him, i let him make-out with me and he gave me oral sex for less than a minute before i told him to stop. He tried his best to persuade me to get in the car with him and go to his house, but i said no. I didn't think he would try to hurt/kidnapp me, because i was bigger/taller than he was. Eventually he left and i went home. I haven't seen him since that day and i hope i never run into him! I felt violated from that incident. I just thought it was really gross because he was way older than i was. I'm being tested for STDs this week. i'm doing better now, but i still feel violated. i don't want to go to the police because that would only make it worse! and i don't have anyone to talk to about this. If i tell my parents or siblings, they'll just get really mad at me for doing this. Please don't tell me to go to the police or tell my parents. that would only make me feel worse! This had been haunting me this whole summer! All i want to do now is put this behind me. How do i over come this?? Please help me!

[Jaguar]

It's not likely you would get an STD from receiving oral and any you would get would have caused symptoms by now.

You had a frightening experience, but fortunately no one got hurt. It's time to put it behind you now and add it to your list of experiences that you learned from. I know it's upsetting to you and you have a lot of strong emotions when you think about it, but you're no longer in any danger and you can forgive yourself for a mistake. No need to be strung out about it any more.

If you want to meet people on line for having sex with, google the statutory rape laws in your state and don't set up anything with anybody old enough to get in trouble for doing it with you. In a lot of states, you're ok if you're within 5 years of each other. If your parents found out I'm sure they would have him arrested and you don't want to be a part of that.

[joe4life]

it wasn't really "frightning" it's just that i feel violated because he was gross older man. I want him to get arrested because i feel like he took advantage of me. But i don't want mom and dad to know about this because they would heartbroken if they found out this happend to me.

[Singing to the starlight]

I can see why you feel how you feel. That was a pretty bad mistake, but I suppose we all make them.

All you can really do is bite your lip and deal with it. I'm sorry this has happened ):
Sorry I can't be much more help.

[joe4life]

Originally Posted by Sitting on the shitter

I can see why you feel how you feel. That was a pretty bad mistake, but I suppose we all make them.

All you can really do is bite your lip and deal with it. I'm sorry this has happened ):
Sorry I can't be much more help.

it's alright. but i still feel upset

[Singing to the starlight]

We all make mistakes and get ourself into situations we don't feel comfortable with. You dealt with it well and stopped it and that's great. It sounds like this has affected you badly and thats defiantly understandable. You jumped in the deep end. All you can do is let the wound heal over and become tougher skin.

[joe4life]

Originally Posted by Sitting on the shitter

We all make mistakes and get ourself into situations we don't feel comfortable with. You dealt with it well and stopped it and that's great. It sounds like this has affected you badly and thats defiantly understandable. You jumped in the deep end. All you can do is let the wound heal over and become tougher skin.

thanks your right. But the thought keypt flashing in my head over and over again this whole summer, it was just getting really annoying but i was at home alone with my parents this whole summer. Maybe this will all get better once school starts

[Singing to the starlight]

I expect so. Sitting around with too much time to think is never good.

[StabMyHeartLover]

Honestly I think you should tell your parents what happened. Do you really want this guy out their? He sounds like a predator & he took advantaged of you. That is wrong. Would you want this to happen to your child? Cause it could or any of your siblings. What you did was stupid..But it happens to a lot of lonely teens...So its OK. But please tell your parents...Just cause he didn't try to kidnap or hurt you doesn't mean the others will be so lucky.

[joe4life]

Originally Posted by StabMyHeartLover

Honestly I think you should tell your parents what happened. Do you really want this guy out their? He sounds like a predator & he took advantaged of you. That is wrong. Would you want this to happen to your child? Cause it could or any of your siblings. What you did was stupid..But it happens to a lot of lonely teens...So its OK. But please tell your parents...Just cause he didn't try to kidnap or hurt you doesn't mean the others will be so lucky.

i don't think he'll do this to anyone else. I met him on an ADULT social networking site (i wasn't respose to be on there) but that's what i get for being stupid

[Invert]

If he knew you were underage and did this anyway, it being an adult site is irrelevent. Kids/teens are going to from time to time go on such sites, and it's his responsibility to not meet you and pressure you into sex (he tried, as you said, he tried to persaude you, this is sex). I assume he knew your age.

[joe4life]

Originally Posted by Invert

If he knew you were underage and did this anyway, it being an adult site is irrelevent. Kids/teens are going to from time to time go on such sites, and it's his responsibility to not meet you and pressure you into sex (he tried, as you said, he tried to persaude you, this is sex). I assume he knew your age.

but if i go to the police, won't i get in trouble for going on the site?

[Invert]

At least report him to the site.... in the cases of sexual predatory or assault on minors, the minor's safety is priority... because at the end of the day, everyone knows that its entirely possible for underage kids to go on adult social networking sites. You aren't the first, and you aren't the last. You might get banned from the site, but there are plenty of sites, and some not sexually focused, and some for youth.

I'm not saying you have to go to the Police (it might be too long ago to prove it or find him, but I dont know about this stuff if I'm honest)... my point was more, whether it's an adult site or not, it's not your fault. He was aware that you were too young, and like the others, he could have stopped talking to you, or just friendly chat online, but instead he decided to meet you with intent for sex, give you oral sexand pressure you into sex, when you were vunerable. You being on an adult site is irrelevent. It's not like you told him you were 18.