Coming out to friends?

[DucksxGoQUACKx16]

So basically, I've been considering my sexuality for about a year now, and I've realized that I'm bi. So far, I haven't told anybody, and nobody knowing is eating me up inside, soI've been thinking about coming out to my friends. If I do come out, however, I would be the only "out" person at my school, so right now all I really care about is telling a couple close friends. One of them, let's call her "F" I KNOW would be okay with it, as one of the things that she supports the most is gay rights and she has a lot of camp friends that are bi/gay/whatever. And so I've been considering coming out to her, but Idk, I just still feel like she would act differently around me after knowing, and I don't want to make things akward. That's probably the biggest thing for me, I don't want things to be different/ become akward after my friends know. As far as my other friends go, they aren't as used to/ educated about all of this, so I'm more concerned about how they would react. None of my friends are homophobic or anything, but other than "F" I think they would just overreact/ freak out. Any advice as how to approach coming out or If I even should at all?

[Sidhe.]

Hey Laura.

It's good you've reached a point where you're comfortable enough with yourself to want to share that part of you with other people. Remember, though - and I'm not trying to discourage you from coming out - not everybody will be okay with it. You'll meet some people who won't take the news well, but you'll also meet others who will. Don't let a bad coming out experience ruin things for you.

Having said that, it sounds like coming out to 'F' wouldn't be such a bad idea. She sounds very open-minded and non-judgmental, and like she wouldn't mind you coming out. As for her acting differently around you - I can't say for sure she won't, but if she does, the best thing you can do is talk it through with her. Let her know you're still the same person and things don't need to change.

My advice would be to come out to 'F' first, and see how that goes. Then if you feel comfortable coming out to your other friends, and 'F' reacted well, you'll at least have her for support if things don't go well. With your other friends, you said yourself that they don't know much about things like this - which, if they react badly, will probably be the reason. People tend to make harsh judgments and wrong decisions about things they know little about. So if you come out to them, make it clear you're willing to answer any questions they may have. The more they know about and understand it, the more likely they'll be okay with it.

If you do come out to them, remember that they may need time to process the information. Let them know it's okay if they need time or space, and that you understand; someone coming out can be a little strange for both the person and their friends, and it takes understanding and trust on both sides.

Anyway, I hope I helped, and I hope things work out for you.
Take care.

[Furubasu]

It's good you feel you're ready to come out to at least a few people Chess seems to have given great advice and I'll I'd be is repeating, but I just wanted to add a little note: if anyone asks you something you don't want to answer, or anyone you didn't plan on knowing asks: no one is entitled to an answer about you except for you until you're ready to give it to them. Good luck! xo

[DucksxGoQUACKx16]

Thanks Guys. I think I'm gonna try to tell her sometime this week. We have a couple classes together and we text, so I'm gonna try to find a good time to tell her. I hope it goes well.

[taylalatbh.]

Good luck with coming out to your friends! You're very brave

[we3monks]

The advice given here is very good already, so I'm just going to say that starting with a few close friends is a strong start and once you've said it, its a great weight off your shoulders. One quote that I saw that helped me to tell my closest friends was "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."

[DucksxGoQUACKx16]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I Finally got myself to tell 2 of them today, and it feels so much better. They responded really well to it. I just basically asked them how they would respond if I said there was something I wanted to tell them but I was worried about how they would act if they knew, and then one of them (who hates it when I'm being vague) ended up slowly getting it out of me until I had told her enough for her to figure it out, and then I just kind of ended up telling my other friend, "F", after the other person figured it out. It's a huge weight off of my shoulders, even if only two people know, thank you all so much, I probably wouldnt have gotten myself to do it if it wasn't for the advice.

[Sidhe.]

I'm so glad things went well for you. I know how hard it can be to tell people, so well done for doing that. It's great they reacted positively, and that you feel better for having told them. Don't give the credit to us and our advice though ; you worked up the courage to tell them, so be proud of that, and enjoy your newfound freedom!
Since this issue seems to have been resolved, I'm going to close this thread. PM me if you want it reopened.
Take care.