My situation

[LucyLouWho]

I'll begin with some information about mine and my husband's relationship. We've been together since August 2006, married since February 2009... and intend to stay that way. He's the most supportive, hard working, and amazing man that I've ever known and I love him more than anything. I told him about my preferences about two months after we began dating in 2006 and, though it freaked him out at first and he thought for sure that I was going to leave him for a woman, we had a few nice, long talks about it and he's been my main emotional supporter ever since. He seems to now be completely okay with the fact that I'm bisexual and am attracted to some women, just like I'm attracted to some men. Ever since he's become okay with this topic and we've talked about it more and more and I've reassured him over and over that I'd never leave him for a woman because 1.) We already have a family together. 2.) I want to be married to a man. and 3.) I didn't marry him only to become another part of the divorce statistics in this country. Well, he's told me many times over the past three years or so that if I want a female companion, I can have one. Up until recently, I always told him that no, I didn't want one since we're in a serious relationship. But he continues to reassure me that if I ever think that I'd like to explore, I can absolutely do so.

Well, this semester at my community college my A&P partner was a female. Fine... She's nice and really interesting to talk to. I knew from the beginning that she was bisexual because of her laptop background and because of a few tattoos that she has. She's married as well and about nine years older than me. She noticed my pride bracelet one time in class and, of course, asked about it. Ever since, there's been a ton of flirting and keeping in contact outside of class. I like her. She's nice... we have a lot in common... I mean, she's married too and her husband feels the same way about her sexuality as my husband feels about mine. They're both very supportive men.

My husband knows about this girl and is completely okay with us talking and getting to know one another. But eventually, I know this is going to lead further. I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me and we both know the rules. Matt is okay with the physical stuff... Or so he says and seems that he is, though we have done nothing physical yet. He reminds me every single day that it's okay and asks me if I got to see her any that day or talk to her at all... he even asks if we kissed. (Which we have not... yet.)

But I don't know. I haven't done a whole lot of experimenting with girls, which is probably why I'm most drawn to this situation... but that's also why I'm somewhat nervous about this situation. My husband seems to be completely okay with it, but I just feel like at any point in time he'll get mad at me or something... I do not want to destroy my marriage over this and so far, it looks like that's not going to happen. But I guess I'll just need to keep in tune with his feelings and talk to him. This is strictly fun and experimentation and the woman and her husband know this. She's actually had other girls over several times, even during her marriage, and her husband is fine with it.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of feedback I'm looking for here... but if you've got anything to say, I'd love to hear it.

Thank you in advance... And please, refrain from judging.

[crissy97]

Originally Posted by Mommy.Wife.Student

I'll begin with some information about mine and my husband's relationship. We've been together since August 2006, married since February 2009... and intend to stay that way. He's the most supportive, hard working, and amazing man that I've ever known and I love him more than anything. I told him about my preferences about two months after we began dating in 2006 and, though it freaked him out at first and he thought for sure that I was going to leave him for a woman, we had a few nice, long talks about it and he's been my main emotional supporter ever since. He seems to now be completely okay with the fact that I'm bisexual and am attracted to some women, just like I'm attracted to some men. Ever since he's become okay with this topic and we've talked about it more and more and I've reassured him over and over that I'd never leave him for a woman because 1.) We already have a family together. 2.) I want to be married to a man. and 3.) I didn't marry him only to become another part of the divorce statistics in this country. Well, he's told me many times over the past three years or so that if I want a female companion, I can have one. Up until recently, I always told him that no, I didn't want one since we're in a serious relationship. But he continues to reassure me that if I ever think that I'd like to explore, I can absolutely do so.

Well, this semester at my community college my A&P partner was a female. Fine... She's nice and really interesting to talk to. I knew from the beginning that she was bisexual because of her laptop background and because of a few tattoos that she has. She's married as well and about nine years older than me. She noticed my pride bracelet one time in class and, of course, asked about it. Ever since, there's been a ton of flirting and keeping in contact outside of class. I like her. She's nice... we have a lot in common... I mean, she's married too and her husband feels the same way about her sexuality as my husband feels about mine. They're both very supportive men.

My husband knows about this girl and is completely okay with us talking and getting to know one another. But eventually, I know this is going to lead further. I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me and we both know the rules. Matt is okay with the physical stuff... Or so he says and seems that he is, though we have done nothing physical yet. He reminds me every single day that it's okay and asks me if I got to see her any that day or talk to her at all... he even asks if we kissed. (Which we have not... yet.)

But I don't know. I haven't done a whole lot of experimenting with girls, which is probably why I'm most drawn to this situation... but that's also why I'm somewhat nervous about this situation. My husband seems to be completely okay with it, but I just feel like at any point in time he'll get mad at me or something... I do not want to destroy my marriage over this and so far, it looks like that's not going to happen. But I guess I'll just need to keep in tune with his feelings and talk to him. This is strictly fun and experimentation and the woman and her husband know this. She's actually had other girls over several times, even during her marriage, and her husband is fine with it.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of feedback I'm looking for here... but if you've got anything to say, I'd love to hear it.

Thank you in advance... And please, refrain from judging.

look if i was u i would just experiment if its just fun then tell them that no one will juge u its not your falut who your actracted to and i did the same thing on my bf he dint mind he thought it was hott

[Jaguar]

It's natural to be uneasy with how Matt might react in the future even though he says it's ok now. I went through that with my gf, who is bi. It wasn't the physical stuff that was a problem, what I found out was that I was uneasy about losing her love and affection.

When the time comes Matt may be curious about what you do with her. If you are willing to share what you do with her with him it will reassure him that your relationship with her isn't secret from him. After a couple of times he'll be okay with it and if my experience is any indication he won't even want to know anymore - it will be between you and her. If that makes any sense. He's the one you share love, sex and a family with so sharing the awkward, tender and funny moments of what you do with her should be something that's ok to do.

As with getting into intimacy with a guy, start slow at your own pace. You may want to just make out with her and ease into things as you explore your feelings, and when you're totally comfortable with her move into more sexual things. She's experienced and you're not. Feel free to pull away and not do anything you're not ready to do yet. Yes, it's about sexual experimentation, but it's also about being intimate and caring with another human being. It can be very rewarding if the feelings are mutual and you don't feel rushed. Good luck with it. I'm sure everything will be ok.

[LucyLouWho]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

It's natural to be uneasy with how Matt might react in the future even though he says it's ok now. I went through that with my gf, who is bi. It wasn't the physical stuff that was a problem, what I found out was that I was uneasy about losing her love and affection.

When the time comes Matt may be curious about what you do with her. If you are willing to share what you do with her with him it will reassure him that your relationship with her isn't secret from him. After a couple of times he'll be okay with it and if my experience is any indication he won't even want to know anymore - it will be between you and her. If that makes any sense. He's the one you share love, sex and a family with so sharing the awkward, tender and funny moments of what you do with her should be something that's ok to do.

As with getting into intimacy with a guy, start slow at your own pace. You may want to just make out with her and ease into things as you explore your feelings, and when you're totally comfortable with her move into more sexual things. She's experienced and you're not. Feel free to pull away and not do anything you're not ready to do yet. Yes, it's about sexual experimentation, but it's also about being intimate and caring with another human being. It can be very rewarding if the feelings are mutual and you don't feel rushed. Good luck with it. I'm sure everything will be ok.

Thank you. Your input really does help... And I've taken a better understanding about what Matt might be thinking and feeling about this. Thank you so much.

[LucyLouWho]

I'd like for this to be closed because apparently to some this situation makes me look like someone who just wants to "sleep around" and that I have no respect for my husband. That is hardly the situation considering he has made this an option to me for at least the past 3 years, so please close it. Thank you.

[Celestial.]

I'm sorry somebody got that impression. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.