really confused! (dont know what i am!)

[chika1235]

ok well i think im straight (keyword think). ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months now and things are going great! we are sexually active and i definately enjoy it! :P well the problem arises when im around girls. i dont know, but i think im partially actracted to them. i look at them sexually and i get turned on easier when a girl even plays with my hair.... and well i had a girlfriend when i was 8, but i didnt really know what i was doing.. i mean, i just though i had a "special friend". well now i kind of have crushes on a few of my friends who are girls. and my boyfriend knows about it so he tries to keep me away from them whenever he thinks he needs to. he doesnt like them touching me at all.... im just glad he didnt see one of my good friends (whos bi) kiss me after school one day, shes kissed me twice just randomly and i liked it. but i mean, im not really sexually attracted to them, i dont think id like it when.... well to put it blanky... i like havin sex with guys :P lolz.
but i like this one girl and she is just like a guy, she is sexy to me and i really like her. she dresses like a guy,works out, does martial arts, and is just like a guy. and i think i like it.... and she flirts with me alot and i really like her. but i love my boyfriend more than the world and i would never leave him... first of all, what would you classify me as? and any advice on how i can resist? thanks so much! any advice is great... maybe i just needed to rant. idk....

[Eldora]

Hi.

Well, I went through this whole thing about 2-3 months ago, so I definately have some fresh memories of what you're going through. Like you, I was easily turned on by girls playing with my hair, and I developed crushes on my friends. Or, rather, I realized that being overprotective of friends and jealous of their boyfriends and having dreams about girls (in a way that COULD NOT be called just 'friendly' at all) wasn't something an entirely straight girl would do. Also like you, I didn't think I'd enjoy sex with a girl. Don't worry about that; it'll probably come later. For me, all I had to do was loosen up a bit and let my thoughts run wild a bit, and the sexual interest in girls suddenly was there. It had been there all along, in the form of dreams, the songs/poems/stories I wrote, my subconscious thoughts, the books I read, and the way I talked to girls in real life, I just had resisted it because my parents' and grandparents' beliefs were telling me that being bisexual was morally disgusting.

My main advice to you is this: Don't try to resist who you are. Honestly, this isn't the way to go. I'd resisted my sexuality for... Probably around two years. I'd look at a girl I liked and meanly criticize her to resist my feelings, when in the back of my mind I really just had a crush on her.

And about this girl who's like a guy: I suggest getting to know her a little better. Just talk to her more often, hang out with her some, and learn some more about her. Then, if you decide you like her more than your boyfriend, you can just tell your boyfriend about it and let him go. JUST REMEMBER: No matter how much this girl appears to be like a guy, she is not a guy! Underneath her clothes, she's still female, not male.

Also, keep this in mind: The boyfriend you have now, you may think you love more than anything in the world. You may wish to never leave him, and for him never to leave you. But in a week or a month or a year or even a day, that whole thing might change. Don't ever let him tell you that you can't hang out with your friends just because you have a crush on them. I'm sure he has plenty of female friends who he has crushes on and talks to daily, but do you try to stop him from it? No. And what business of his is it for him to have to know every crush you have on anyone?

And as for labeling yourself? Because you aren't quite 'sexually attracted' to girls, I'd call you bicurious, but like all curiousity, it may grow into something more. But remember that labels aren't everything. Labels just restrain you and make others have expectations of you that sometimes you can't meet and still remain true to yourself.