Heavily attracted to her

[Raylolo]

Hello everyone,
So I've posted about this girl before (my thread called "I like a girl with a boyfriend"), but I feel the need to post again.
She's aware I still like her. Or at least she was at the begining of February when I told her I still liked her. And since it's only been a little over a month, I think she probably realizes I still do.

Anyhow,
She and I got into a nasty verbal fight in the middle of February. It was really bad. We stopped talking completly for about a month. I was so hurt by the things she said, I thought I'd never speak to her again. In fact, I am still hurt and sometimes wonder why I am friends with her again. And keep in mind, I am not the type of person to hold grudges.

So, my problem is that she's still got a boyfriend. It's the same guy she's been with since october. And I know that I can't change that. I don't really want to I guess. I mean, I am going to college in August (3 hours away) and she'll be here, so there's no point. And to be honest, I am not 100% crazy about her personality. She's really fun and funny, but she can be really mean and is more often than not. She often says "oh, I was kidding" after saying something mean. She smells incredibly wonderful...like no girl I've ever smelt before. I've told her that before. Honestly, my liking to her is probably more lust than anything. She is the hottest girl I know personally.

I was speaking with my cousin a while ago. He has a boyfriend and told me that his boyfriend doesn't care if he makes out with girls. I thought maybe it could be similar with the girl I like....that maybe her boyfriend wouldn't care if she made out with girls. The thing is that I kind of want to find out. But I can't just go asking her that. She would obviously know that what I'm really trying to say is "want to make out with me?" Hahaah. And I don't want to be that forward. Is there a subtle way to bring this up to her or would it be better left alone?

Is there anything I can do or should do? I mean, even if it's not kissing her or anything, how could I make myself feel better about the situation? Is it right to consider distancing myself from her or just not being friends with her at all? I need someway to lessen the pain and/or tempation. This girl is irrestible and I have to deal with it until I leave for college in August, so how can I make it easier on myself?

Thank you in advance,
Rachael <3

[aranel05]

Could you casually ask her what she thinks about open relationships? Maybe bring up you cousin and his boyfriend and say something along the lines of "Sometimes I wonder if I could be in an open relationship such as this one, what is your opinions?"

If you are trying to distance yourself from her, though, do you think this is the best thing to do--making out with her might make it harder to let her go.

[Raylolo]

Originally Posted by aranel05

Could you casually ask her what she thinks about open relationships? Maybe bring up you cousin and his boyfriend and say something along the lines of "Sometimes I wonder if I could be in an open relationship such as this one, what is your opinions?"

If you are trying to distance yourself from her, though, do you think this is the best thing to do--making out with her might make it harder to let her go.

I could try that I suppose.

And I don't really know what to do. It's like I can't live with or without her. And she is in one of my classes, so I can't be completly distant even if I tried to be. It's so confusing. =S

[Soliloquy]

Hey Rachael,

Before you do anything, I think you should consider your motives for wanting to do this and all the possible outcomes. Do you really want to be involved with a girl whose personality you don't really care for? Even if you're not in a relationship, hanging around someone who makes you feel bad can really take a toll on your mental health, and you said that more often than not, this girl is mean. Do you think kissing her will hurt or help you right now? Is it possible that it would confuse you even more about how you feel about her?

I don't think taking a break from her would be inappropriate, especially if she's not always the nicest person. You want to surround yourself with positive people in your life. With that said, it is completely up to you. You obviously know her and yourself better than I do.

Best of luck!

[her_beautiful_mistake]

I think you need to get over her and move on.

[Raylolo]

Originally Posted by Eblouie

Hey Rachael,

Before you do anything, I think you should consider your motives for wanting to do this and all the possible outcomes. Do you really want to be involved with a girl whose personality you don't really care for? Even if you're not in a relationship, hanging around someone who makes you feel bad can really take a toll on your mental health, and you said that more often than not, this girl is mean. Do you think kissing her will hurt or help you right now? Is it possible that it would confuse you even more about how you feel about her?

I don't think taking a break from her would be inappropriate, especially if she's not always the nicest person. You want to surround yourself with positive people in your life. With that said, it is completely up to you. You obviously know her and yourself better than I do.

Best of luck!

I think the best option would be to distance myself from her. Although, that is easier said than done. I totally understand what you're saying when you say it can take a toll on mental health, because it definetly has. Since she is in one of my classes at school and often sits next to me, how can I distance myself from her? I want to and know it's possible somehow. Should I maybe let my friend know she should try and keep the girl from sitting next to me in a subtle way? Also, the girl sometimes sees me in the morning before homeroom and stands by me to say hello and everything...I don't really see a way to avoid that one. And with texts or facebook stuff, should I just ignore her or what? I' sorry this is so complicated...I jst want to make sure I cover everything since distancing myself will not be easy due to the factorsabove and the fact that we were incredibly close friends before we had a really nasty fight mid-february. Thank you so much!