We talked about it.

[enfantreve]

Just last night, I sat down with my dad for the first time in two years and discussed my sexuality. It started when he went through my phone and found my saved messages from my ex ((with whom I am still in love)). He confronted me about having been with a guy and, at first, I was scared and he was angry, but soon we both calmed down and, although we were both crying hysterically, we were able to discuss my sexuality like two mature human beings - something we were not able to accomplish the first time, two years ago. He told me that he will work towards being able to accept me, even though it goes against all of his morals and how he grew up. Here's the catch: he told me to keep it from my mom until she can handle the truth. Should I hide this from my mom? She took it harder than my dad did the first time, but I feel dirty keeping it from her while my dad knows. I don't know if hiding it is a wrong thing to do?

[Sythan]

I cannot fathom why any parent would be angry at their kids for being who they are. It's not as if you chose this life, you simply accept what you cannot change, what is so wrong about that?

But to answer your question, I would keep it from your mom until she can accept it. It can take time, better safe than sorry.

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

I think it's great you and your father were able to have a civilised discussion about this. It sounds like he's really going to make an effort to get used to this, and it shows that he really loves you, which is good.

As for telling your mother, it's up to you. It's your secret, to tell or not to tell as you choose, and if you think she's ready to hear it, then why not tell her? I'm curious to know, though, when exactly your father thinks she'll be able to 'handle the truth'? Is something going to happen to change her mind? Is she going through a rough patch and so now wouldn't be a good time to tell her? Otherwise, now may be as good a time as any.

It's not wrong to keep this to yourself, and it's also not wrong to be open about it. Like I said, it's your business, and it's completely up to you about how open you want to be.

Good luck, and let us know what you decide.

[enfantreve]

Originally Posted by Sythan

It's not as if you chose this life, you simply accept what you cannot change, what is so wrong about that?

That's what I had to fight to get my dad to understand. He didn't want to understand that I was born this way. He thought it was purely based off of peer influence. I had to get him to realize that it's who I am no matter what, and he gets that now.

Originally Posted by Sidhe.

I'm curious to know, though, when exactly your father thinks she'll be able to 'handle the truth'? Is something going to happen to change her mind? Is she going through a rough patch and so now wouldn't be a good time to tell her?

The first time everything came out between my parents and me, my mom took it a lot harder than my dad did. She became so upset she fell ill for a good two weeks. My dad says that we should wait until I am older and we are able to tell her that I am mature and have had experience and I KNOW this is what I want. Because the thing with my mom is, she believes that I am making an uneducated judgment about who I am based on only male-female interactions. She doesn't know that I have been involved with guys. My dad only knows about one and he doesn't even know for sure how far he and I became involved.