my friend is really starting to confuse me

[tate09]

ok so about a month and a half ago my friend came out and told me that he was bisexual. i have supported him and told him that it's ok. he also told me that he came out to 5 other people at my school, a few days later he came out to his parents. well before all this happened there was a rumor going around about him being gay because he was saw hanging out with a gay guy (you know how people assume). well last night he called me bitching me out saying that i told people, some of those people that i supposedly told, i have never even spoken to, and i told him a thousand times that i didn't tell anyone, but i am not sure if he believes me. this is where i am confused, he came out to his parent, why does he care if people at school know? he says people are looking at him weird now, which is honestly the dumbest shit i have ever heard because 99% of our college campus is either gay, lesbian, or bisexual and no one at our school cares about people's sexualities except one guy who was homeschooled and seriously sheltered. i am not saying it's right that it is now out, but for him to sit there 1 and accuse me of telling when i didn't and 2 have the audacity to say that people are looking at him weird when he knows good & well that no one at our school cares about that stuff. he told me, "my friends won't want to be my friend anymore." i told him that if they didn't care about his happiness then they weren't his true friends in the 1st place because being gay, lesbian, or bisexual does not change your personality or who you are, it just changes who you'll end up falling in love with. i don't know what to do, i have told him one million times that i didn't tell anybody anything and he says he wants to believe me, but he doesn't know what to believe. was i wrong in telling him that those people who cared whether he is gay or bisexual weren't his true friends in the 1st place?

[enfantreve]

Coming out can be a traumatic and uneasy experience/process for some people. He may have come out to his parents, but perhaps he's not quite ready for EVERYONE to know yet. As for him blaming you, the most you can do is stand your ground and tell him you did not tell anybody. He's probably just worried/paranoid that people are judging him now that he's out, and he is afraid you told. It's nothing to fret too much about. Just stick by the truth and he'll come to see that you have remained loyal to your friendship. When guys come out, sometimes, they face paranoia that people are looking at them differently or talking about them constantly. I did at first. Just bear with him. It will pass.

[tate09]

now he is saying that someone recorded me saying it though, which makes no sense because you can't record a nonexistant conversation. but he also told 5 other people at school & the guy that he was sort of seeing at school told a girl with one of the biggest mouths at out school, so she is probably the one who told. it's just pissing me off. he was the one who was careless and went out to a gay club, but straight people go to gay clubs too.

[enfantreve]

Well if he's saying someone recorded you saying it, that just sounds silly. Ask him if he's ever heard the recording himself. If not, try and make him understand that he can't believe heresay. Be a friend and make sure he knows that you would never betray him in such a way, and if he needs time to figure that out for himself, give it to him. Don't blame him too much. Coming out sometimes can happen to fast for some people. I adjusted quickly to the world of being "o.t.c." (out of the closet), but I know others that had a more difficult time. The most you can do for him is be as good a friend as ever and he will come to see the truth sooner or later. <3