What is my Sexuality?

[CoolColombo]

Hi there,

My name is Sam and I am 14 years (15 in December), I have Aspergers and I am a boy. I am not sure whats going on right now and I am wondering what my Sexuality is. I stated off at I think 7 years old Liking girls, I had crushes on Linsey Lohan and lots of other girls. My last crush on Girl was when I was 12 years old. I liked girls all up until this age.

When I was 11(Almost 12) I started looking up chubby males on the internet(Please don't laugh at me). I do not remember why I did, I just did. I did not masturbate or anything like that,(Did not really know how) I would just watch the video and get a erection. At the time I did not think much of it. I would just watch the video then turn it off. I did this a few times a week look at chubby male bellys.

I think then I stopped looking at it. Can't remember why I stopped either. At my school I had a massive crush on someone called Chloe I really fancied her and wanted to go out with her. I writed Poems and really liked her. Then eventualy after she kept saying No I gave up. I was 12. Then I started year 8 at in Secondry School. She was my last crush. My feelings went when I was like late 12 almost 13. But I did not really notice(If that make sence) I still went on dates with girls that my friend had set up for me, I did not even fancy the girls but I played along.

I went though a stage were I felt Asexual and Liked nothing. Then once when I was in the changing room for P.E a chubby boy my age took off his shirt and I had a erection. Once again I did not think much of it at the time and brushed it aside. So yeah I kinds just felt like I fancied no boys or girls.

I dropped out of my secondry school because I did not like it and the peer pressure and stuff. At the start of year 9 I started a speciel school due to me not coping in mainstream. The majority of the school were just boys. a few girls but most of them were physicaly disabled and not as able as me. In Novemeber 2010 I decided to look up a chubby girl on the internet out of the blue. It was then I wanted to see what would happen. So I mansturbated and afterwards I kept doing it on a daily basis as it almost got addictive. Then the account I was using to look this up got removed.

At the time I was desbrate to mansturbate so then I looked up Chubby males and well you can guess what happen next. I also seem to have a fetish for males who have that type of Zac Efron kinda style. I tried to get back on to masnturbating to women but it was constanst struggle for mounts(even now) My attracticon for women seems to be slightly low right now. Last Year I had my First Kind of Gay Crush. But my Gay Crushes seem to go into a patten. They last for a few weeks, maybe a month or so then I sudunley go off that person. I have had a total of 3 Gay Crushes in 2011. Which All seem to go quiet quickly. Apart from the 3rd Crush I developed only this week.

So to Sum it up:

• I liked women from 7-12 years old.
• I went though a Asexuel sort of stage while I was 13.
• I have Aspergers
• I have had 4-5 Straight Crushes between the age of 7-12.
• and 2 short lived and one recent gay crushes this year.

[/list]
Thanks for your help,

Sam

P.S. Please don't laugh at my fetishes I did not choose them.

[Reverie.]

Hey Sam,

At this age it's perfectly natural to question your sexuality. At about the same age, I felt quite unusual because I'd only had like one crush, and all my friends had had loads. I Felt like I was being left behind. Truth it though, not everyone figures out the kind of person they like until later in life. I'm only just figuring mine out and I'm 16, but many people will figure it out even later, some earlier. To be honest with you, nobody else can tell you what your sexuality is. It's a journey you have to go on and something only you can come to the conclusion of. It can be really frustrating making sure you know what it is and who you find yourself attracted to, but I don't believe it's something you should rush to figure out. If you are attracted to girls, so be it. If you're attracted to men, that's great too. If you're not really attracted to anyone, it's not something you control, so that's okay.

And by the way, those fetishes aren't that strange. I'm sure many people are also aroused by people of a similar body shape, so don't be embarrassed about it.

I hope I've help here,
Hollie.

[blumemusik♫]

Hey, none of us can tell you what your sexuality is. You can decide that for yourself, or just not decide at all. You don't NEED a label, if you like someone, go for it.
Just because some males arouse you doesn't mean you are emotionally attracted to men.

Here's a thread with different definitions in, because I'm a bit rubbish at explaining :') http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f8-lg...er-dictionary/

But yeah, there's no rush to figure out your sexuality Take your time, and when you know, you'll know <3

[CoolColombo]

Thanks for you help

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by Ghost.

Hey Sam,

At this age it's perfectly natural to question your sexuality. At about the same age, I felt quite unusual because I'd only had like one crush, and all my friends had had loads. I Felt like I was being left behind. Truth it though, not everyone figures out the kind of person they like until later in life. I'm only just figuring mine out and I'm 16, but many people will figure it out even later, some earlier. To be honest with you, nobody else can tell you what your sexuality is. It's a journey you have to go on and something only you can come to the conclusion of. It can be really frustrating making sure you know what it is and who you find yourself attracted to, but I don't believe it's something you should rush to figure out. If you are attracted to girls, so be it. If you're attracted to men, that's great too. If you're not really attracted to anyone, it's not something you control, so that's okay.

And by the way, those fetishes aren't that strange. I'm sure many people are also aroused by people of a similar body shape, so don't be embarrassed about it.

I hope I've help here,
Hollie.

^ This, nicely said!

Hi Sam,

First, no one here will ever laugh at you.

What you're describing about yourself actually sounds pretty typical, a lot of guys go thru this. Puberty is strange, powerful stuff, those new hormones cause a lot of very new, sometimes confusing feelings. The important thing to remember is to not judge them (or yourself) too harshly or quickly, b/c it's more about arousal (what turns you on) rather than your sexuality (how you feel about yourself). Just be careful that you don't get into trouble, though, make sure you're staying on top of your other responsibilities and not spending too much time on this other stuff.

[Invert]

Puberty sorta kicks start sexuality, and although some people know pre-puberty, usually pre-puberty attraction is different the the attractions you develop as you get older. You will have changed and developed a lot since you were 7, and you still have more to go. I don't just mean physically, your brain and mental abilities change and develop, and you see the world in a different way. So don't put too much weight on the past in this way.

If you've found your sexuality has been moving around, and changing, and it still seems to be changing and not 'stable', then chances are, it's still developing, and it may well be impossible to label it with any permenant meaning at least. Sometimes we sort of have to ride through it, and just see where it goes.

I'm not saying don't use a label. If you want to, it's up to you. But if you choose a label, try to bear in mind it might change, and just be open to that possibility.

No one can tell you what you are, these things are about how you feel, and well simply you. We don't know the feelings you are getting.

Hopefully it'll become clearer soon. But remind yourself, you are 14, you haven't quite reached sexuality maturity, and there is no shame in being unsure what to call yourself.

In fact, some people, even adults, prefer not to define themselves concretely. You get people calling themselves open, fluid, flexible, etc.

[CoolColombo]

Thanks everyone, for your help and advice.

It's really helped, I feel a lot better now.

Regards,

-Sam

[Celestial.]

Hey Samuel,

Since your question has been answered and you seem happy with the response, I'm going to close this thread. Feel free to PM me if you want it reopened, or you're always welcome to start another thread.

Take care.