Finding a boyfriend in the closet?

[msfsteven]

Hey, I'm Steven. I don't think I'm ready to come out, and I don't like being limited to one sex. Now, I've never even told another guy about my sexuality. Has anyone ever attempted to find a bf/gf of the same sex (while in the closet)? What was the outcome? Thanks for reading

[CutewitouttheE14]

yes i have but its not the easiest thing in the world you have to really trust the person and know for a fat that they arent straight before you say something about you not being straight. but other than that it all depends who you know

[LostAngels]

Hello Steven!

I personally am a straight girl, but I have had 2 guy friends in your exact same position.
The only people they admitted their sexuality to was myself and one or two other people.
They used local websites to find same-sex partners. I know it may seem corny, but don't think of yourself as desperate if you choose to do the same. It's very useful, and I highly doubt anyone you know, unless they're also gay, will be using the site.
If you're of legal age, simply go to bars. It will take a while, but you will eventually find a guy who is interested. If you're willing to, buy a simple rainbow colored bracelet (or something of the sort), that you can wear when you're out without friends. Other gays will definitely notice it if they check you out, and will get the right idea.
I wish you the best of luck

[msfsteven]

Thank you Matt and nice anonymous girl (:

[Soliloquy]

Hey Steven!

Finding a date while still in the closet can be a bit tricky at your age! Where you live in the US and are under the age of 21, you are not legal to go to gay bars. I also might not recommend that you try to go on a dating site. Most sites require you to be at least 18 years of age, and not to mention, meeting people you met online in real life can be potentially dangerous if you don't go about it the right way.

Instead, it might help to out yourself to one or two people that you can definitely trust. They might know someone they can introduce you to, or keep their ears open for news of any guy who might be interested. Remember that even if you're not ready to come out to everyone, you can still consider coming out to a small group of friends or family who you know for sure would be accepting of you. I also like the suggestion of wearing something rainbow. It's a subtle hint that other gay guys might take notice of.

You can even get involved in the LGBT community to a degree. You can join a Gay/Straight Alliance if you have one at your school (and remember -- they're gay/straight, so people don't have to know you're gay!), or attend some events privately that are set up for LGBT youth. I'd take check to see if there's anything going on in your area. You might be surprised at how much you find! This will at least get you out there into the community and allow you to get to know some LGBT folk.

I hope this helps a bit! Best of luck!

[msfsteven]

Thank you Kylie! I guess I could try to ask my few friends to help me search for someone. I don't have a gay/straight alliance, although that would be nice. Thanks again!