Mind Games x100

[twinpeaks]

This is going to be a long one, so buckle up.

Where to start...

Well, I'm bi-sexual, and I have have this very good female friend who is also bi. Our friendship has always been a bit sexually charged. What we deem normal in our friendship would be weird and inappropriate if we started acting like that towards our other friends. Despite the way I acted towards her, I never thought of her as anything more of a friend, that is until a few months ago. We were both pretty drunk at our friends party, and we started to make out. The next day I could feel something had changed, I started to develop a huge crush on her. Unfortunately, at the time she had a boyfriend, and she told me that what happened could never happen again. So, things went back to basically normal, at least for a while.

She broke up with her boyfriend, and after that she became even more flirtatious with me. Of course being extremely attracted to her, I reciprocated. (This started in September) Despite the signals she was giving off, I never told her how I felt because I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship. Well, Halloween weekend arrives and we're hanging out at a friend's house, and everyone is asleep except for us. We're cuddling, half-asleep in our friends living room when all of a sudden she starts caressing me. My arms, my stomach, my legs--she's all over me. Naturally I respond and we start kissing. This is abruptly stopped because our friend who was sleeping in the room with us stirs. So, instead of continuing, we just sort of hold each other for a while and fall asleep.

A few days later, at school, she tells me that she doesn't think what we did should happen again, but surprise surprise, a few days later she's back to flirting with me like crazy. I REALLY like this girl more than I've ever liked anybody, but I can't stand these mind games. I want to straight up tell her how I feel, but if she doesn't feel the same way it could ruin our friendship.

[theawesomeman]

Wow, that sounds like a very interesting friendship. You should tell her how you feel, if you do then she might want to go out with you, mabye not. Either way I don't see it affecting your friendship in a bad way. If she says yes then she will probably do that more and things will get better for you. If she says no then it might be akward beetween you two for mabye a day or two but, it will soon go back to normal. She might actually like you more than you think but just dosen't think you do. I hope this helps you and that you girls have a great friendship or relationship.

[Soliloquy]

Hey Jade,

Being honest is always a good thing, but if you don't feel comfortable being open with your feelings right now, I would start by confronting her about her behavior. She is certainly sending you quite a lot of mixed signals! Like you said, she told you that she didn't think that what you did should happen again, and yet, here she is flirting with you a few days later! I would take her aside and explain your confusion. You may even want to ask her directly where your friendship/relationship currently stands. This way, you may get some idea of how she feels about you without actually having to come out and say you like her, if you really feel like it would jeopardize your friendship. Let her know that you aren't going to put up with any mind games.

If you want to tell her how you feel, then maybe you should consider it. Is she the kind of person who would deem a friendship with you "awkward" if she didn't feel the same way? It's true that this information may roll off some people's backs easier than others. I would assess your friend's character, then ask yourself if it's worth it. Because it may very well be! Your honesty could give your friend more insight as to why she can't play this game with you, and/or you may even find that she feels the same way. It's something to think about!

No matter what, be sure to communicate that you're not willing to tolerate this inconsistent behavior. Let her know how confusing it is for you! If she persists, you may have to establish some boundaries, so that you don't end up getting hurt.

I hope this helps! Best of luck!