I Need Some Help

[Zynest]

This is going to be kinda a long one so just a heads up.

I really dunno how to start this because it's not an easy thing to talk about but here it goes.

First some background.

When I was between the ages of 13 - 15 I had a few girlfriends nothing serious but I always broke it off with them because I didn't feel anything for them which at the time I thought was normal. Then I met this guy, he was pretty awesome and the next thing you know I am feeling for him what I should of felt for my girlfriend so I started panicking because I was confused and after fighting with my feelings I concluded I liked both Sexes so I was bisexual.

Anyway up untill a few months ago I always thought I was Bisexual but I could never find a girl who I was attracted too, none, blondes, brunets, big boobs, small boobs, black, white, Asian. No Girl at all not even lesbian porn (Which lets be honest most guys love but I didn't) got me feeling the way at this point several guys have so after some thinking I came to a conclusion about who I am that made me feel, well, I dunno how to put this but I didn't feel like me anymore because I concluded I was gay and I know this shouldn't of been a bad thing for me but at this point I knew it was going to take a while to get used to because I was different, I wasn't friends with anyone who was gay and no one in my family is and as I had no one to go to it made me feel alone...

Fast forward till a few days ago I've had some time to think about who I am and how I can accept myself for being Gay, so after some thinking I decided to tell one of my friends and shes been supportive like no one in my life ever has and after I told her I felt relived for a little bit anyway. Then I remembered my Family's attitude towards Gay people and its say 1950's as that's when they where raised and if my family found out I'm finished because I'd have nowhere to go and no one to turn to and of course this made me think even more that out of my older sister, 2 older and 2 younger brothers in the sheep with no wool as it where, the odd one out and this made me feel ashamed because my sister is married and in a straight relationship and my 2 older brothers are engaged to women and then there is me not fitting into my family's image of who I should be making me feel like I've betrayed them and I don't know what to do.

So I guess what I need help with is how can I accept myself for who I am as a whole, how can I get rid of the feeling that I've betrayed my family and myself and how can I live my life knowing my family is going to turn my back on my as soon as they find out...

Thanks for taking the time to read I do appreciate all the help, it means a lot.

[tomjsh]

Im gay, and out to my parents, they dont really believe me, they think "its a phase" but yeh. I thought that my parents were gonna turn their backs on me, but for some reason I just went for it and told them.I haven't been kicked out, and they still feed me, support me and love me. If I were you I wouldn't tell them until you can support yourself financially, that way, if they do cut you off, you dont need them in your life, (this is gonna sound harsh) they dont truly love you if they cant accept who you are.

In order to accept yourself, you have to be sure, and being gay isnt a conscious decision, you just are, so you havent betrayed your family, not one little bit

You can't do anything about your sexuality, other than suppressing it and living a lie, which i assume isnt an option. And neither can they, they cant change your genetics.

Hope this helped, it probably didnt