Delivering a eulogy

[TeenHelp]

Delivering a eulogy
By Cassie (Cassado)

Eulogies are meant to honor the deceased while giving comfort and closure to their loved ones. While being asked to deliver a eulogy is an honor, it can feel overwhelming for many people. Some people don't like public speaking, while others fear struggling with their emotions while speaking. This article will discuss a few tips to help you give a eulogy.

Practice as much as you feel you're able to. If you can, stand up while practicing so you can help project your voice. Read slowly and clearly so people will be able to understand what you're saying. While reading, try to look around the room and look at different household objects to prevent you from keeping your head down too long. It's said that practice makes perfect, but remember that memorizing isn't necessary. You can bring flashcards with bullet points, or you can take a copy of your writing in its entirety. Consider having a friend or a family member to also practice the eulogy so they can help you if needed.

Choose safe people to make eye contact with as you're reading. It is best to choose someone who appears calm, as choosing someone who is upset can upset you as well. If you can't look at your family members, look at a friend, a neighbor, or the funeral director. Looking at people while you're reading will help you project your voice, and the eye contact is likely to make you feel less alone during this difficult time.

Bring someone with you. If you aren't comfortable being alone, see if a friend or family member will stand next to you. Their presence alone can help make speaking a little easier. You can hold their hand or lean on them if you need additional support. This person can also take over for you if you don't feel like you can continue speaking.

Take a fidget toy, or an item that makes you feel safe. Many people benefit from keeping their hands busy during times like these. A fidget item can be something as simple as a bracelet to play with or a favorite childhood toy to have by your side. Having a safe item around you can help reduce your anxiety.

Take some water with you. While water is good for hydrating, it can also give you a few extra seconds while you're speaking. If you feel anxious or upset, stop talking, take a few sips of water, and continue speaking whenever you feel ready.

Think of your deceased friend or loved one if you feel comfortable doing so. Many people who have given a eulogy have said that they felt their loved one's presence, and that helped them get through speaking. It's possible that you'll feel your loved one around you, too.

Remember that it's okay to get upset. Funerals are a difficult time and it is normal, if not expected, for you to get upset while delivering a eulogy. Other people attending the funeral are most likely struggling as well, and won't think badly of you for showing your emotions. Allow yourself time to regain composure, or ask someone to help you continue speaking if you need to.