Don't understand what's going on.

[JohnCoop]

Okay, so I need a fresh set of opinions on a certain dilemma I've been going through here since summer began two weeks ago. I've been interested in this girl since the end of last year and we had a pretty good friendship through the middle of this school year and she has the rare distinction of being one of the few people outside my family that 'knows' me. But then things began randomly tapering off after she began dating her ex from last year again, he dumped her, then she went back out with him again and then dumped him again and it hasn't been the same since back during December-January-ish(she new boyfriend now by the way). He was a complete ass to her and I talked to her for than a few hours trying to console as I best that I could and knew how. Our friendship finally started to pick back up again towards the end of April I guess and we were back to having regular convos in class. The thing that pisses me off the most about this whole scenario is that when I call or text her outside of school, she rarely answers her phone or returns my messages. Then she'll constantly complain about how her ex or new bf 'ignores' her and how she can't see why they are unable to take a few minutes to make a phone call or fire off a text message. Now me, even if I am on vacation if see that someone has called or texted me I will set aside at least a few minutes talk
I wrote it off as accidental seeing she has had a lot going on lately, most important of which is a major back surgery that is going to put her out of action for most of the summer come the end of June or so. Due to this she was telling everybody (including me), "Oh yeah, we need to hang out, blah, blah, blah, go to Six Flags or something, blah, blah, blah...", I've probably called her a dozen plus times began on the 1st and gotten one response as she was returning home from a weekend vacation. I can totally understand not answering call while on vacation or whatever. Still, even when she got back she'd have time to tweet about her new haircut or some other random tidbit of her daily life, but no time to return a call from me or even text me. I'm not sure whether I'm just taking this too personally, blowing it out of proportion or whether I'm right and she is ignoring me intentionally. I still want to be with her major, big-time but I'm really wondering if now it would be a better idea to just cut my losses and look elsewhere (despite the fact I have literally no idea what I'm doing when it comes to girls) or wait for her with knowledge that it may (and more than likely) won't payoff. The thing that makes this scenario stranger for me is when we do talk, she sounds interested in whats going on my end and will go into detail about her end of things, I'm not sure if she is just feigning interest or not but its enough to keep me caring and wondering about her.
The problem I routinely have with people in general, not just girls, is that someone will be my bestfriend and she is by the way, but I'm number 172 or whatever to them and I'm not going to lie and pretend that I haven't done that to others in the past but I've had it happen enough times now to where it really is getting insulting and degrading to self-esteem which really isn't all that good to begin with, I'm just good at acting. I've been such a good friend to her and it almost feels like I get nothing in return sometimes, like no matter what I do, I'll still only be a 2nd rate friend to her. To be blunt, I'm flat out tired of me getting emotionally invested in people who call me their 'best friend' or 'best guy friend' and then forget about me when I'm not around, its happened to many times and I'm sick of it.

I'm sorry if this is confusing or if I'm the one at fault here, but I would appreciate your opinion on this situation.

Thanks for reading.

[Silhouette]

Hey there, sorry you haven't gotten a response yet!

In my opinion it does sound as if she just isn't all that interested. The thing is, if she has a boyfriend then it really isn't worth pursuing in the first place anyway as she isn't available. It wouldn't be fair for you to wait around for her to become single again only to get ignored once again. I think it would be best to keep this as just a friendship and try and find another girl who will make an effort to stay friends with you and who is available. It sounds like this is causing more pain than its worth.

[JohnCoop]

Thank you for responding!

I did finally manage to get through to her yesterday on the phone and we talked for a while about our summers, next school year and seeing as we're both planning on going to the same college (Texas A&M) she was curious if I had begun admissions yet (in retrospect I probably need to get started with that ). About the whole problem with her having a boyfriend, I really don't even know if they're still together, it just says 'in a relationship' on Facebook, but I dunno, I'm hesitant to ask as it isn't my place. She did say she was free sometime next week and that we should 'definitely' hang-out, so I'll have fingers crossed on that, hopefully something will materialize.

My main problem is that all of the girls I'm interested in are all in relationships themselves or are single by choice (which I can certainly relate too), so I'm kinda screwed when it comes to finding other girls, which might be why I've invested some much into this one girl. I'll be doing my best to meet some more people in the future, hopefully I'll finally find someone then.