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What is infidelity in a teenage relationship? - January 4th 2014, 07:06 AM

I am 16, a virgin, female and in a 5 month relationship with my boyfriend where we have made it to the point of fingering and hand jobs. Oral sex is off limits for now but I have let him kiss and suckle my boobs. He does not have a cell phone so we just Facebook chat when we are boh at home. He goes to a different school than I do and now has a part time job on top of fencing and church. I myself take modeling and math classes. We don't see each other as much as we'd like to. Everything was peachy until te other guy who I will call Bob came into the picture. Bob and I go to the same high school and have the same spare next semester. He is a nice guy and all but not as intellectually refined as my boyfriend. He likes me tho and I have feelings for him, I care about him but I can try to keep them mom romantic, right? I want to have a brother and sister relation ship with Bob but he says he loves me. I do love him in the sense that I care for his well being and want to support him and be by his side and it's not that I'm against a friendly hug but were do I draw the line? I ave attachment issues and tend to not trust men to stay in y life and have been in short term flings prior. I love my boyfriend a lot, romantically as well, and I don't wanna hurt him but I don't wanna stop having whatever it is I have with Bob because I want a friend during my spare. Is it cheating to hug him? Is it cheating o kiss him on the cheek? Is it cheating to let him console me? Is it cheating to confide in him about my problems? (Him is bob btw) is it cheating to love another guy? Is it cheating hiding our convos because I know my boyfriend doesn't like him? Would cuddling be cheating? Is going I the movies together cheating? Sex would be cheating but I wanna save myself for my bpyfriend, we are both waiting for each other. Bob is no longer a virgin and I don't wanna be his "just another girl to bang"
He (Bob) has offered to leave me alone but due to my abandonment issues I asked him to stay... Was that cheating?


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Re: What is infidelity in a teenage relationship? - January 4th 2014, 10:12 PM

A lot of people consider cheating to be something that you wouldn't do with Bob in front of your boyfriend, or something you wouldn't want your boyfriend to know about. I wouldn't call going to the movies or cuddling cheating exactly but let's face it if your boyfriend did it with another girl you'd find it pretty weird, right?? I think the fact that you're hiding messages from this guy from your boyfriend answers your question yourself.


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Re: What is infidelity in a teenage relationship? - January 4th 2014, 11:14 PM

Define it with your partner. Everyone defines it differently



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Re: What is infidelity in a teenage relationship? - January 5th 2014, 04:58 PM

Cheating is different in every relationship, but since you only want a brother/sister type relationship with Bob, you should treat him like he is your brother. Consoling, kissing on cheek, hugging, and confiding in him sounds like things normal brother and sisters do. I say you're on the border line with cuddling, because personally I don't cuddle with my brothers, but other girls may.


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Re: What is infidelity in a teenage relationship? - January 5th 2014, 06:17 PM

I don't want my boyfriend to feel threatened by how I love Bob too, and yeah I don't think bob makes a good match for me as a boyfriend but he is the kind of guy I've alwæs wanted to know: cool, got lots of connections, dresses well. But I was questioning about the cuddle because in my culture (Brazilian) we kiss people on the cheek to say hello and goodbye, guy or girl, old or young. Just what we do. I was thinking about cuddling because while I don't have a brother I do cuddle with my site ex like I will put my arm around her and joke that she can't leave or ill turn into an old cat lady (running joke we have) but she is my blood and not incestuous at all nor lesbian. While I don't cuddle with my girl friends we hug and share the same bed at sleep overs with no problem. I wanna be close with Bon and be able to tell him everything and anything but just not cross the line into romance


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