discouraging parents

[Theamishcollection]

All kids have their faults and every parent knows this, but have your parents ever made a list of all the things you've done wrong?
I've gotten in trouble a few times, mostly for stuff i was doing behind their back but most of it is just petty things. last year they made a really long list of everything that i "committed" against them. I really take it to heart and it hurts. Are they trying to make me feel really guilty to make me "stop"? or are they a little on the controlling/crazy side? It just makes me want to give up on ever pleasing them with what i do. They don't like what i do, even if its not wrong. They hate my music, my interests, my mannerisms, my friends, don't allow me to date at all. They don't understand my intentions even when i tell them flat out. I'll be 18 soon and moving off to college so i won't have this problem too close anymore, but isn't it a little much to point out all your daughter's faults by writing them in red ink and then expect her to change her ways immediately? Its just very disheartening...

[stelles]

My cousin had a very similar experience - her dad's family went around in a circle and complained about all the things she had done wrong with her in the room. I'm not really sure what parents and family members are hoping to accomplish with this. I think it would be a good idea for you to ask your family exactly what they were trying to say with this list... like, "FYI, here's everything wrong with you. Good night." or more like, "Here's some things you've done wrong that you should fix." Niether option is a good excuse for this, and I totally understand your reasoning for not wanting to please them at all after this. I would suggest either talking to your parents about it or putting the list behind you. Everyone has flaws and it doesn't mean you're a terrible person
good luck, sorry if that totally didn't help

[Eternal]

Writing you a list like that is definitely opposite of being supportive parents. I think their reasoning behind it was to give you a sort of "wake-up call" on how your behavior goes against their wishes. I always encourage communication in any kind of relationship problem, so that is what I advise here as well. I think you need to have a talk with them about your differences. Let them know how that list made you feel, and try and find some kind of compromise for when they feel upset with your actions.
College is a great transition into have more freedom to be the person you are, however I do think you should try and at least put yourself in your parents shoes and try and understand just why they don't like your music and such. You don't have to agree with them, but being able to have an open mind to their side can be really beneficial.

[taylalatbh.]

I'm sorry you've had to go through this, it's horrible to hear that some parents would do that. I guess all you've got to focus on is that you'll be going off to college soon, and you won't have to deal with your discouraging parents. I know it's hard with how they've treated you in the past, but you should try and move on from it. Focus on your studies and enjoy things. Take care.