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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Amandaapandaa Offline
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Unhappy confusedd & frustrated - September 9th 2014, 04:59 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This is going to sound crazy, so go ahead and judge me but...

For the last couple of weeks I find my old feelings for my crush (who broke my heart and now has a girlfriend) flairing back up again. I don't know how to stop them. I don't know what to think. What to say. What to do. I don't know what to do about any of this. I'm just so stuck and I wish I could let go and move on but for some reason a part of me keeps saying to myself that his current relationship is going to fail and he will come back for me. I know I'm overthinking this situation....

I am a self harmer and I harm myself every time I think about him and/or get excited about him again.... I was on the road to recovery but lately everything has just gone downhill (deep depression and suicidal thoughts).

I guess I just posted this to rant? I don't know. But I really need some help to sort these feelings and thoughts out.

some of you are probably sick of hearing me talk about all this... I apologize. I honestly don't trust a lot of people anymore. I'm scared to ...
   
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Re: confusedd & frustrated - September 9th 2014, 10:35 AM

Hey there,

I totally get how you feel :/

There's really not much you can do apart from distancing and distracting yourself. Try maybe focusing on his bad qualities (he broke your heart)?

PM me if you'd ever like to talk!

Kyra
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Re: confusedd & frustrated - September 10th 2014, 05:52 PM

Hey there,

The unfortunate thing about feelings is that we can't just turn them on and off when we want. Getting over someone can take time and it can be a frustrating and confusing process. A lot of people face the same thing you're facing and so know that you're not the one one who's felt this way!

Like Kyra suggested, try to give yourself some distance and distract yourself. I'm not sure if you're still communicating with him, but if you are, it may be wise to give yourself some space from him for a while. Also try to find healthy things to do to keep yourself and your mind occupied. With time, these feelings may fade once again.

I think you should also try making it a priority to focus on yourself and practicing self care. It sounds like you're struggling a bit right now...you don't have to try and go through this alone. If you're not already, try talking to a close friend or adult about how you've been feeling recently. School guidance counselors are also a great resource to utilize because they're trained professionals so they know exactly how to help provide you with the support you may need. You're only human...it's okay to ask for some extra help from time to time! TH also has a thread called "Alternatives to Self Harm". Different things work for different people so try looking through the list and find what works for you.

You mentioned that you were on the path to recovery. People slip up from time to time and sometimes the road to recovery gets difficult. Even though you're struggling, try not to give up on recovery. Seek the support you need to get you through and make your way back on track. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life.

Hopefully this helped a little!
Take care. :]


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
   
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Re: confusedd & frustrated - September 13th 2014, 12:25 PM

How much do you appreciate yourself? At some points you can understand your feelings, some that are hard to control and are irrational. But is it really worth it hurting yourself over someone who will never bat an eye over it?

Treat yourself better because you deserve it. I'm not saying a day will completely change it, it's actually a more-less of a longer process to go through, being a part of a bigger problem, your struggling with SH. The guy doesn't worth a thought though, especially after he brushed you off like that (the way you made it sound). You deserve better. Cut off every person that effects you negatively both mentally and physically.

It must be confusing since even though you got rejected, the potential relationship idea is stuck in your head and it is developing beyond reality. But think about what is good for you, realize it. Giving into him is a waste of your emotions. He may not be good as you think he is. He would have treated you better if he had significant qualities worth of your attention. Think in that direction... I'm not sure if this helped much but try. I mean, it doesn't seem right. Feelings can go as long as you don't act on them in this case, I'm sure.


I moved back while
my head was turned.

Upside down
closer to the end.

Afraid of the dark
within future times.

I'm drowning there,
my final chase.
   
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