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xxpaigiexx Offline
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Name: Paige
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Too much expected of us. - December 20th 2014, 12:27 PM

Hi there,

I really love my boyfriend, we have been together for ag, bout 3 and a half years. He works really long hours, at the moment due to the christmas period. He helps his mum out a lot, so majority of the money he makes he will not even see.
Don't get me wrong, I love him but sometimes I find it a little difficult to deal with his family. I went to grab something of his from his house after work as he is working such long hours he is staying at mine at the moment as my house is closer to his work.
I went in to grab what I had to, his brother was the only one in, so just as I'm about to leave his mum and his sister come back, so I say hello, his sister asks me if I can stop for a little whille. I explained that I needed to go and finish my christmas shopping, she's 11 and she tries to give me/or my boyfriend the cold shoulder every time we are going out or doing something alone. I feel as though all of our time is spentt making everyone else happy. The problem with his mum is whenever she's in a mood about something she will nit pick or just make damn right nasty comments. On sundays to keep everyone happy we will usually stay at his on a saturday night and then spend the morning and early afternoon there and then make our way to my house to spend the afternoon and evening with my family. The other week she asked my boyfriend what we was doing, so he told her, she just rolled her eyes apparently. To me I find it really disrespectful when we spend so much time trying to make others happy and we are just missing out on time that we could be spending together doing things. It's not fair. My parents have calmed down a whole lot and generally they let me and my boyfriend get on with it, but with her she always has something to say. The other day me and my boyfriend we off work, we said that we would go into town with his mum to pick up some christmas presents for his sister, and as she doesn't really wear any make-up she wanted help with what to buy for my boyfriends sister. As it was our week off we woke up late and as I had a couple of things to do around the house we said we would meet her in town at 1PM, because it wasn't a suitable time for her she kicked off and started screaming and shouting at my boyfriend down the phone and said not to worry and hung up the phone on him, when he tried to call back she was being childish and not picking up the phone. If she had told us she wanted to get out early that would have been fine and we would have got up early, but she just expects people to know what she wants to do without actually saying anything. I am just sick of her behaviour and for so long I have always taken a step back and allowed things to happen and be said because she is his mum, but I don't feel I can anymore. I feel like we are constantly walking on egg shells with her. He pays majority of the rent and yet we have go get back for respectable times like we are kids on curfew because of his sister. We are 23 and 26 years of age, we should be able to do what we want to do, yet she constantly holds him to randsom.

Thanks for reading.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Paige


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Re: Too much expected of us. - December 20th 2014, 06:16 PM

Hey, Paige!

I'm sorry your boyfriend's mother is giving you such a hard time. You're right, you are 23 and your boyfriend is 26, so there should be some understanding on her part that you two are mature adults--and not a pair of immature teenagers--who deserve some time alone and do things away from her and your boyfriend's sister. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about this? Don't let her ruin the holidays for you, because you and the boyfriend deserve to spend the holidays together and not being picked on for whatever reason. His sister is only eleven, so it's a bit understandable why she acts like a brat but it still isn't right. Have you and/or your boyfriend sat down with her and explained to her how you're adults who want to spend some time alone together? Also, I think you should talk to your boyfriend about his paying his mum's rent. Why is he paying for it? Why not her?

-Bex
   
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aurelientea Offline
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Re: Too much expected of us. - December 20th 2014, 08:40 PM

Sounds like someone has the bitter mother syndrome.
She is used to having her son to herself, that's what it sounds like to me.
Don't worry about it, talk to your boyfriend. You're old enough now! You can make your own decisions. Your boyfriend and you should talk to his family about it as well, and explain to them that you love each other and need time alone.
Good luck!! x


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