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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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MaggzB Offline
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Question Don't know what to do - May 8th 2009, 05:51 PM

i have an amazing boyfriend and i love him ALOt he makes me happy almost as happy as this girl.. I think i may have feelings for her but then we are bffs and sisters kinda. im just not sure what to do. should i tell her i may like her. i came to this realization about 3 months ago before i got with my boyfriend and i cant stop thinking about her.

she always makes me smile and laugh. we have a great time together and it feels like it may fit but then theres my boyfriend and he can make me smile behind my tears and make me happy again after being in one of my depressed moods. but at times so can she

i wanna tell her i may have feelings for her but i dont wanna lose her or scare her away. i a constantly worrying about her and thinkin alright how long till i see her

with my boyfriend i do kinda the same but i dont count the seconds just days with her i count the seconds till i see her next and im not too sure what to do we are really close and i dont know if it will be the same after and if i tell her


HELP ME!


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 8th 2009, 05:58 PM

Wow, this is the same as me and my friend
Although...I dont have a girlfriend.
It all got too much today to keep in and I eventually told him...not in the best way but yeah, I did. My advice would be to pick a right time before it all gets too much and you say it whenever.

Just be prepared to lose contact for a little while, while they work there head around it..
If you have any Q's. Just PM me, ill be glad to offer my help.
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 9th 2009, 02:32 AM

I'm looking at this as any other straight person would, so I dont know if I can really help since I'm only attracted to girls when im watching a certain type of movie with my boyfriend. lol
It looks like your infatuated with your friend. But I can tell you really like both of them. First, Look Inside. you need to figure out if your straight, bi, or a lesbian. That would certainly clear things up. But I know how confusing it can get. I was on my way to becoming a lesbian when i realized a nice rack or booty only stayed in my mind till i saw a guys six pack or his muscular arms. (i decided im straight, but not narrow)
Second, Evaluate your Friendship. You need to figure out how close you two are, and if she would disown you if you told her you have feelings for her, or if she would get over it eventually. My friends and I... we have too many lesbian experiences, even though we're all straight. But every friendship is different. You need to figure out if this would ruin any chances of still being friends, being closer friends, or being more than friends.
Third, Think About Them. You need to try to wrap your head around how much your boyfriend likes (or loves) you, and how this would hurt him. Like I told some one else today. Think about all the people you may be affecting and think about how to act in the best way for you, and the people it involves. Ask your boyfriend if he wouldnt mind having a threesome (as a joke) and ask your bff if she's ever thought of another girl that way towards girls.
Fourth, Be Honest. Dont be afraid to sit your friend down and tell her your thinking you might have feelings for another girl. Ask her for advice! Tell your boyfriend you confused and need time (if you need time, that is), and if you want to confide in him, then do so. If he really likes you, your being confused wont changes how he likes you.

I hope I'm helping! Like I said, I'm straight. I know one gay guy and he is awesome to be around! And fun to poke jokes at, but we all support him and love him.





~Rissa~

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Re: Don't know what to do - May 9th 2009, 06:36 AM

I was on my way to becoming a lesbian when i realized a nice rack or booty only stayed in my mind till i saw a guys six pack or his muscular arms. (i decided im straight, but not narrow) --- hah i just wanted to say that was exactly like me, i got really confused for a while until i finally realised i only wanted girls before i looked at a guy!

Anyway, i think the above post is very helpful, and i basicaly have not much to add to it. Really its one of those things wher eyou can't be sure how to act. Maybe you could ask how she'd react f you said you were gay, and gauge how far you should go form there?
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 11th 2009, 11:36 AM

Aww.. thats really sweet! I think you should tell her cause if you guys really are such good friends.. then it shouldnt matter...
She probably has the same feelings for you but doesnt wanna come between you and Lenny.. Cause she knows how happy he makes you and how important he is to you..
But definitely tell her! who wouldnt love you?!?

lol ily!
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 11th 2009, 05:36 PM

i know it shouldnt matter but i dont want to risk the chance of losing her and i dont wanna lose lenny he means the world to me and hes amazing to me but she is always in my thoughts and i have a few poems at home that are about her :|

and i know im a lovable person but i dont want to make things awkward


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 03:04 PM

You will NEVER lose her!! NEVER!!! She will ALWAYS be here for you!! ALWAYS!!! You dont have to lose Lenny either!! Stay with him and be happy... Because i promise.. that girl will always be there for you no matter what!

btw.. i think shed like to read those poems.. i love you
   
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Talking Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 04:20 PM

lol i think yer boyfreind may enjoy the fact you may be a bisexual . most do. be open minded and good luck try talking to her
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:24 PM

i agree with armand.. lol =)
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:24 PM

she cant read them and my boyfriend already knows i am bisexual but im really pansexual and yah that doesnt matter i cant be with both

and woohoo i already talked to her and she took it great and surprisingly we have similar feelings about eachother haha (:

haha nice britt just cause he does doesnt mean she will


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by armand View Post
lol i think yer boyfreind may enjoy the fact you may be a bisexual . most do. be open minded and good luck try talking to her
I get pissed off even thinking of my Girlfriend being with a woman. Some guys are far from alright with it, I am one of them. It irritates me even when as friends they change in the same changing room to try on dresses or whatnot.
My GF is Bisexual aswell and that fact does cause some uneasy feelings in me when she is out with her friends. Bisexuality means EVERYONE is a threat, not just the traditional opposite sex threat.
Bisexuality is such a pain in the ass. Be Homosexual or Heterosexual -_- make up your minds people!


You know you are on the precipice of greatness when you feel joy, fear, and the butterflies of change all at the same time.


   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:34 PM

i am sorry you feel that i am pansexual not bisexual which is just a little different and i have heard of guys fearing loseing their girl to another girl makes them feel bad or whatever my boyfriend is cool with me and girls haha he always tells me dont do anything i wouldnt do lolz just joking around of course


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:39 PM

Well, I disagree with Smitten.
I guess you could call me pansexual as well, which isn't to do with making up your mind, its about the person's soul, and personality, rather than their sex. Sexuality is not to do with 'making up your mind' it's something you have no control over. In my mind, I think this is what most bisexuals are as well, though correct me if I'm wrong.
There's nothing wrong with liking both sexes, and I understand the predicament you're in. Personally, I'd say be with the person that make you happiest. Yes you may hurt someone in the process, but you can't stay with someone knowing your heart wants someone else.
If you do decide to break up with your boyfriend, be kind, and reassure him that it isn't him, its just you like someone more.
However, I do think you should make up your mind soon, it's not fair to string either of them along, though I know this is not your intention.
I hope you find happiness in whatever decision though.


"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥

"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

~ The Buddha

14-04-2010. R.R <3
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:42 PM

see i dont know if i like her more never stated that i liked her more i like them ALOT equally thats why im not sure what to do


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:46 PM

I think perhaps you need some time away from both of them to figure out your feelings. I don't mean break up, just like a few days to think things over by yourself. It's a big deal, especially as you like them equally. Sounds silly, but make a list of prons and cons for each? The only thing you can do just now, is try anf figure out which you wish to be with. As I said before, it's unfair to string them along when you could be having doubts.


"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥

"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

~ The Buddha

14-04-2010. R.R <3
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 12th 2009, 05:47 PM

i know that but i cant get away from either one i go t school with 5 days a week and the other i spend the whole weekend with


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 13th 2009, 09:14 AM

okay.. two things..

1) she would REALLY like to read the poems!!!... lol and
2) Maybe you and that girl shouldnt hang out as much anymore... As much as that will kill her and hurts just to say!...

But maybe the reason you guys have feelings for each other is cause you are always around each other... I mean if all week i hung out with my left hand.. id miss it on the weekemds too... Do you know what I mean? Im not saying you shouldnt be best friends cause a friendship like ours comes along once in every other lifetime... But stop seeing soo much of each other.. Maybe I should listen to the quote Camm wrote on the board yesterday.. (im putting it in a new thread)

OKay so again with the tears.. lol Anyways.. Dont hate her.. please.. that is the last thing she wants... Not even the last thing.. she doesnt want it at all! But shes just trying to do what she thinks would be best or easiest for you.. she hates the fact that she is part of the reason your life in so complicated right now... Shes there to make things better.. not worse!! lol..

I love you.. again... probably wont be in school today.. so see you thursday..
*hugs*

lmao...

"She probably has the same feelings for you but doesnt wanna come between you and Lenny.. Cause she knows how happy he makes you and how important he is to you..
But definitely tell her! who wouldnt love you?!?"

geez.. foreshadowing much?!?!?!?! lmao.. i am awesome! LOL

Last edited by Brittany123; May 13th 2009 at 09:16 AM. Reason: Multiple posts have been merged automatically.
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 13th 2009, 10:36 AM

i am sorta in the same sit. or was in the same sit.

See i had a boyfriend and he was the greatest. made me smile when i thought no one else could. But one of my BEST guy friends, whom's always been there when i needed him. Who has walked from his house to mine just to keep me from crying and everything.
My best friend means the world to me. And i told him how i felt. And he to himself felt the same. So i got in a bad spot with my boyfriend and it made it really hard to work stuff out with him. I dated my friend ONE day then dumped him because it didnt feel right. This was after me and my boyfriend broke up. And i hated the fact that me and him wasnt really the same. Now we are back BEST friends. and he still likes me and comes and hangs with me. But i dont have any feelings for him.. WHAT SO EVER.

What i am trying to say is that just because you like her, doesnt mean you should date. It could change how you guys hang out and stuff. But then again maybe you should. maybe it would make you stronger. But you need to find out through someone or some way if she to feels the same.. Because you could loose your boyfriend and your friendship. and i am pretty sure you dont want that.


Its all up to me now
   
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May 13th 2009, 02:56 PM

thanks guys

ugh things have gotta a little more complicated
my ex recently came back into my life after moving
away for 2 years he came back and says he still loves me
we hung out monday and things just seemed to slip back into place
like he never left but i love my boyfriend and this girl means alot
im thinking about taking a break from everyone for like a day or two
and think things threw im so like insane cause things are crazy

any tips?


i love you <3

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Re: Don't know what to do - May 14th 2009, 11:41 AM

Tip: Take a week off and away from all three. no communication.
See which person you miss most and think about most.
Your ex might just be old emotions, memories of what you used to feel. Beware of slipping into that trap!


You know you are on the precipice of greatness when you feel joy, fear, and the butterflies of change all at the same time.


   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 14th 2009, 03:03 PM

Im sorry.. Im soo sooo soooooo sooooo sooooooooo Sorry....
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 14th 2009, 05:17 PM

dont be sorry britt dont u dare be sorry ily <3


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Re: Don't know what to do - May 15th 2009, 05:05 PM

yeah.. but its like.. my fault.. im sooo sorry..
   
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Re: Don't know what to do - May 15th 2009, 08:16 PM

ITS NOT YOUR DAMNED FAULT GOT IT! grr u drive me insane when u think its ur fault


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