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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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MWF Offline
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Blind Date - September 4th 2015, 09:58 PM

Well, the last date I went on didn't really count (she ordered water) so I really don't even know how to do a regular date in general... but I got sick of laying around my dorm without any friends. :P Anyway, my mom had a large hand in setting this up, and it took a lot of pride to ask her for help, so I'm in. Anyway, from what I do know, this girl is apparently a lot like me in that she can't stand most people at college, which is great... and she sounds nice, and apparently she even had a nervous breakdown in high school, which I actually see as a plus, considering I want to be a therapist. My mom and her mom know each other from a prayer group they're both in.
So anyway, we're going to Starbucks for coffee. Seems simple... but I don't really know what that entails. I got her number and asked if she wanted to hang out sometime, and I suggested coffee. But how long do these things last? Whats the deal with gum (like how much should I have, and should I be chewing continually)? How much cologne? Do I pay, and is it bad if I don't? What do we talk about? What do we do afterwards?
I'm not trying to bed this girl by the way. I hate to say that I've fallen into my age-old habit of naming my future kids too early(eyeroll). Yeah, i know these questions are kinda strange... but I am a little high right now.
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Re: Blind Date - September 4th 2015, 10:30 PM

Hey there,

Coffee dates are always a simple but good first date. It gives you time to get to know each other and to give you an idea as to if you'd want to see her for another date afterwards.

To answer your question on how long the date lasts? It really depends on how the date goes. If you see the date is going really well and you're getting along quite nicely, the date can last a few hours. If you feel the date isn't going anywhere, you can just say you need to be home by a certain time and cut the date short. I would give it at least an hour before making a judgment though, because first dates can be awkward at first and sometimes it may take a little while before both of you start feeling more comfortable with each other.

I think chewing gum is fine, it's up to you when or how much gum you want to chew. Unless you're chomping very noticeably on a large wad of gum, most people won't care or notice it. As for wearing cologne, less is always better. It's okay to wear it, but you don't want the smell to be overpowering.

It's up to you if you'd like to pay for her drink as well. Many guys still pay on the first date because of tradition, however, I don't think it should be expected these days anymore. If you feel like you'd like to pay, go ahead, as it is a nice gesture. This is something completely up to you and what you're comfortable with. If someone is upset with you for not paying for their drink, then maybe that shows you don't want to date them anyways.

I think everyone worries about what to talk about on the date. But if you're compatible, it should come naturally after a while. Start with getting to know each other. Ask questions and show you're interested in getting to know her. Questions you can ask are things like how her day is going, where she goes to school, what career is she looking to go into, how many family members does she have, etc. Be genuine. Don't ask anything too personal, as you don't know her that well and she may not want to answer. Try to find similar interests and talk about them. If you guys get along well, the conversation will come easier and won't feel so forced.

Afterwards, if you're done coffee you can choose to extend the date if you're both having a good time. If there's anything else around, you can both walk around together so you still have time to get to know one another. If you had a good time, let her know that and suggest you go on another date.

First dates can be quite awkward and I think everyone gets a little anxious about how it's going to go and how to act. She will probably be just as nervous about the date as you! As cliché as it is, just try to be yourself. Good luck on the date!

Hope this helps a bit.
Take care. :]

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
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Re: Blind Date - September 6th 2015, 10:00 PM

It went well! Very casual, not 100% sure if I got a followup date though. Not awkward. *score*
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September 8th 2015, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by MichWolverineFreak View Post
It went well! Very casual, not 100% sure if I got a followup date though. Not awkward. *score*
Well done! More than I've ever managed.
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