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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lyss_ Offline
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Name: Alyssa
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This breakup is ruining me - October 30th 2015, 09:17 AM

I just had the happiest five months ever. Before, I was alone and didn't have friends. I've been having issues with my mental health and he made me so happy but he realized we wanted two different things I guess. So he broke up with me three weeks ago. Yet he stayed around. We didn't miss a step and we were still like a couple. But he doesn't really understand was depression is or what it's like to have suicidal thoughts. He's kind of insensitive. I told him I'd let him be from now on but I don't want to. I cared about him more than myself and I still do. When we first got together he knew I had trust issues and a thick wall up. I let it down, he made me happy, hurt hurt me. I don't know what to do. I'm always crying, I always want to be alone. It's hard because he gav me the best five months Ive ever had and now he doesn't care. It makes my chest hurt I just need some guidance because I'm breaking and this is so hard to hide from my parents because I'm always crying
   
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Re: This breakup is ruining me - October 31st 2015, 08:07 AM

Hello there Alyssa,

I'm sorry to hear about this recent breakup you've had with this guy. It does sound like this guy who used to be your boyfriend wasn't being really considerate of you when you've had your mental health issues. Like you've said: he's insensitive, and it's clearly noticeable. He sounds like he's uneducated about mental health issues such as depression and suicidal thoughts. What it sounds like is he doesn't really know how to respond to struggles that you have with yourself, and it's gotten to the point where it sounds like he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. Hence, that's why the breakup happened.

I understand you're feeling heartbroken, and it's difficult to put all this behind you. It's okay to feel this way right now, but don't let it get you down for a long time. Eventually, you're going to want to find a way to put that part of your life behind you and move on. Besides, you've only been together with this guy for five months, so even though this meant a lot to you, the span of your relationship was still pretty short; it didn't even last a whole year. For all we know, this guy probably doesn't care for you anymore, so why should you be thinking of him? I understand this guy meant a lot to you in those five months you spent together with him, but you should understand that relationships in high school generally don't last long, and you've already experienced that firsthand now.

That doesn't mean you should give up on not only finding someone who makes you happy, but people who want to be your friends. It's never good to be alone for too long, so my recommendation to you is to be who you are, don't be ashamed about who you are, and don't follow the whole popular reputation thing that goes on in high school. Only when you be yourself you will find the people who want to be your friends and be part of your life. I also recommend that you talk to your parents about this when you're comfortable and ready to. You can even discuss this with a school counselor if you feel like talking to your parents is out of the question. In my opinion though, talking to your parents can make a difference for you in that they can help you better cope with this recent breakup of yours.

Give yourself time to heal from the situation. Time heals all wounds, but it's what you do during that time that makes you heal.

I hope that this doesn't impede you from enjoying the days of your life, and if you eve want to talk to me, feel free to through VM/PM. I wish you all the best Alyssa, and take care of yourself.

Mark




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Re: This breakup is ruining me - October 31st 2015, 08:19 PM

Hey Alyssa,

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. I think for many people who don't understand mental illness or experienced it themselves it's hard for them to grasp how much you suffer when you have a mental illness and the difficulties you might have on a daily basis. I think right now the most important thing you can both have is your space. I know you're hurting right now, and it may not seem like you are ever going to be happy again. But, you will in time. Maybe not in the next week, but months or a year from now you'll feel better about this all and you will move on from this.

Try to do things that make you happy. Make plans with friends and family and keep yourself busy doing things that make you happy, pamper yourself, go shopping, go to the cinemas, have that duvet day with someone and watch a DVD marathon. Just do things that make you feel good and eventually you will start to feel better. You may not enjoy yourself at first but eventually you'll think about this guy less and less often.

I hope you're feeling better soon and I'm here if you ever need anything.
Paige


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