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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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roseegirl Offline
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Long distance - September 28th 2016, 07:58 AM

Hello,
So I just got out of a serious relationship like couple months ago and I found this really great guy and I met him on vacation but there is a problem. I live in Arizona because that's where I go to college and he goes to West Point which is in New york. Couple of weeks ago he flew me out to New York and in October he is flying to Arizona and he want to meet my friends and my parent's and I've never introduced anyone to my parents. I'm scared. I'm scared to get attached to him cause I do it with all the guys I have things with or date. I'm scared to introduce him to my family and friends. I'm scared that this long distance is going to break us apart. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start.
   
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eeba Offline
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Re: Long distance - September 28th 2016, 10:49 PM

Hello! Take a deep breath first

If you feel like things between you are moving too fast, that is something you could mention to him and if he cares about you he will be understanding about it and not pressure you to do anything you aren't ready for.

However, I also think that those are very normal things to be scared about and you shouldn't let that stop you from pursuing the relationship if you really like this guy, which it sounds like you do.

Chances are that if you are happy with him, your friends and parents will be happy for you, try not to stress too much over introducing him, you said he is a great guy, and I am sure they will think so too.

Attachment can definitely be scary, especially with something long-distance, but if you like each other and are happy together that is most important, and if it is meant to be, the distance won't matter and it will be worth the time apart. Have faith that you can make it work!

I don't know if this helps at all but if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask.
Follow your heart, everything will turn out just fine!
   
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Re: Long distance - September 28th 2016, 11:14 PM

The benefit of long distance is that it kind of forces you to take things slower and not get too attached because you can't be together all the time. I would totally just introduce him to your friends and family. Like maybe pick 1 chunk of time to see your family, then another 1 or 2 times for your friends depending on your social groups (or more times if he's there for a week or osmething) then you can spend the rest of the day going on day-tours out of the city, or exploring the city with him or showing him around your campus. If you make plans and intend to commit to them, then it might help relieve the stress and you can just tackle it as it comes. Even with friends and family you can be like "I'm dating this guy, he's coming to visit, I'd love it if you guys could meet him, when's good?" and just don't make it a big deal (like don't be like "ahmagawsh I love him so muuuuch you gotta come check him out!" lmao

You could always talk to him too. Let him know you're thrilled that he's coming to visit but you're also feeling aprehensive because it's a new relationship and you're attaching all this meaning to things and stuff like that. It might not even have a resolution. It's not like he can promise you that you guys will last and you'll die together when you're ancient but getting it out there might just help you to be like 'ok I am feeling this" and naming and maybe you'll find out that he feels the same and it'll totally make you feel better.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Long distance - October 6th 2016, 06:44 PM

Hey there,

I think in these situations communication is so important. If you're feeling insecure about the future of your relationship, then you need to speak to your boyfriend. Let him know what your fears are and let him know what you want for the two of you. Once you know that you're on the same page or on a similar page, it should help to set your mind at ease a little. You will probably find that the two of you both want similar things from your relationship. Let him know that you're nervous about introducing him to others, let him know you don't want to let people meet him for things to not work out. Relationships only work with honesty and good communication. If you can't communicate together, then how are you going to make things work.

If you don't want to introduce him to others, then tell him. Let him know that you feel it is too soon and you'd rather wait a little longer before he meets the people that are important to you.

Be brave, be honest and I'm sure everything will work out. You just have to have that 'talk' to clear things up.

Best of luck,
Paige


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